Married to a Moose (a supernatural imagine fanfic)

Chapter 31- The Solution

You had gotten done with a hunt. The first hunt since you came back actually. You had gotten back late last night, then went straight into the hunt this morning. You were looking forward to cuddling with Sam that night when you went to sleep. You laid down in bed with him. He wasn't acting like himself though. He didn't put his arm around you like he normally did. You went in for a kiss, and he turned away.

You decided to go lay in the extra bed in the room since Sam wasn't gonna lay with you. You felt so abandoned. A little bit later, you decide to confront Sam about being so cold towards you.

"Sam, what's wrong? I know you're awake, so don't even try to ignore me. I thought you forgave me, why are you acting so weird?"

"I do forgive you (y/n), but that doesn't mean I'm not still mad."

"Well that means you haven't totally forgiven me then." You say, getting sort of mad at him. "I don't expect you to be ok with the fact I left, but I don't want you to act cold towards me either."

"What do you expect me to do? Just forgive you and move on, act like you didn't do anything, act like you didn't hurt me?"

"No Sam. I just want to know what I have to do to get you back. And can I ask you one question real quick?"

"Sure." He says, really annoyed.

"Why don't you just kick me out if you are so pissed? And, you do know I really am sorry right?"

"Not really, no. I know that's what you said, but you hurt me so much, and you knew it would hurt me, yet you left anyways. And I'm not kicking you out. You don't seem to get that I'm mad, but I still love you."

"Well you sure don't act like you love me anymore. You're treating me like a monster off the street."

"Well I still do, and I don't think anything you say will make me feel any different, but I do want to know why you left."

"I told you. I couldn't handle it anymore."

"No the real reason (y/n)." He gives you those puppy eyes that show he's not gonna accept any lies. You are forced to talk about what you didn't even want to think about.

"Fine, Sam. You wanna know the truth?" He nods, trying to be sympathetic while also being mad at you. " Do you remember when you and Dean first saved my life and brought me back to the bunker, and Dean asked me to stay?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you guys convinced me to stay by making me feel wanted, you made me feel like I mattered. You contacted my family and convinced them to be ok with me being gone. I left behind two loving parents, and a little brother. I haven't seen them since then because you told me it would put them in danger. My little brother and I were so close, and now, I can't even talk to him. It eats me up all the time that I can't ever see him." You feel a lump in your throat and you are scared you're gonna cry. "That was part of the reason. The other is, that back home with my family, we lived a normal life. I loved it. I wasn't worried about demons or ghosts or shtrigas or anything supernatural. It was just me and my family in this world. Now that I'm hunting, I get hurt all the time, and worst of all, I hurt you both all the time. Maybe not physically, but I fight with you more than I care to fight with anyone. I hate it. I hate hurting you and I hate fighting with you. I know you hate it too, but I cause so much destruction around here that I thought if I got away, then you two would be safe from me. And finally, I was scared. I was scared that if I stayed around you two, then I'd wind up dead sooner rather than later. I already nearly died, and I am only sitting here right now because Cas saved me and then so did you guys."

"(y/n), I didn't know about your brother. You never mentioned him. We might have been able to work something out somehow. I understand why that upset you. I'm sorry. We really didn't know about that. About wanting to live a normal life, I get that too. I went to law school, Dean came and drug me back into the hunting life. I long for that normal life I was living all the time. But I also realize that it is no longer possible. It's simply a fantasy at this point. About not wanting to hurt me or Dean, I suppose it is true that you have hurt us, but I'm gonna tell you again what I said once before: If I didn't want to be around you because we fight and I get hurt by you, I would have kicked you out long before we got married. And I knew it! I knew we were a reason why you left. You lied to me. Through the phone and in your note. You said it wasn't my fault. You said it wasn't Dean's fault."

"It's not your fault Sam, and It's not Dean's either. It's my fault for being a stupid coward who is afraid of being killed by you two. I know you'd never hurt me on purpose, yet I was stupid enough to be afraid of you two. That was my fault."

"You had every right to be scared. We nearly killed you."

"Look, Sam. You have every right to be mad at me, but look at this from my point of view. I left to be alone, but I missed you so much. I came back because I can't live my life without you and Dean, now I'm back, but I don't get you back. It's just like I'm still gone, but that you're in the same room as me. Do you know how bad that feels? I came back to you and Dean and now I still have no one. I never meant to hurt you and I never wanted to lose you." You start bawling. You are sure Sam is just done with wanting to deal with you.

"(y/n). Hey, it's ok. Sh, sh. He starts rubbing your back to try to get you to calm down. I'm sorry ok?"

" Why. Are you. Sorry?" You ask, still hyperventilating.

"Because, you are right. You came back to me, and I'm just pushing you away. I should be welcoming you back with open arms, not shoving you away. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I'm sorry I acted like you meant to. I'm also really sorry about your brother. We didn't give you time to grieve and we didn't give you a say in whether or not you kept contact with your family. We took you from them before you knew what we did. We stripped you from your family. I never realized that's what we did to you. I feel so bad about that."

"Sam, it's ok. You don't need to be sorry. I just want you back. I need you back. So please, just tell me how I can do that."

"Just talking to me and fully explaining your side of things did that. I'm here for you, and I'll be by your side, just don't leave me again."

"Deal."

"One more thing (y/n)."

"What's that Sam?"

"Thank you for getting me to snap out of my demon blood stuff so I didn't kill Dean, and he didn't kill me. I'm not saying I'm ok with the fact he almost killed you. I'm just saying I'm glad no one killed anyone."

"I know what you mean. I love you Sammy. And I can't say it enough. I'm sorry."

"I love you too babe." He says before giving you a long and passionate kiss. It was long overdue. You kiss back with equal force. Eventually you rest your head on his chest, and fall asleep there. He continues to kiss your forehead and run his fingers through your long hair, before falling asleep himself.