Cascade » fourtris

|15| Teach me

"Everyone feels lost and low.
It's how a person acts
that makes them different"
~Veronica Rossi

I've been breaking the curfew almost every day lately. A random thought comes to my mind as I look at the waves lapping against the shore under the moonlight. Some strange thought, sitting next to Tobias, all alone.

"Tobias, can I ask you something?" I ask turning to the side to look at him. He looks so beautiful that I can stare at him forever. His eyes appear darker in the dark; the moonlight gives him an eerie look. He nods his head absentmindedly and it looks as if he's deep in thought.

"What does the word 'fuck' mean? I mean everybody says that word when they're angry but nobody really knows the meaning. It's not even in the dictionary. Do you know it?"

He seems to snap out of his reverie and turns to look at me. His face is a bit red.

"Uh ... right. People of Reverie... do you really want to know?" I nod my head, genuinely curious.

"Uh do you know anything about um ... sex? Or periods?" he asks coughing, as faint colour rises to his cheeks.

"What? No, I don't," I shake my head.

"Right, here they make babies by some scientific technique," he mutters.

"What?" I ask, confused. He clears his throat and starts explaining.

By the time he's finished, I'm sure I resemble a bright red tomato. When I had said I want to be close to him, I didn't mean this. I simply meant I just wanted to be close to him. I still do, but not this. I'm not sure if I'm ready. Hell, before this I didn't even know that such things are possible.

"So this is how they make babies in the wilds? It's much uh. . cleaner in Reverie," I say looking down at my toes. This is so awkward, disgusting and embarrassing.

Another stupid thought comes to my mind and I can't help but voice it out. But I'm scared he would say yes.

"Tobias, have you done it before? I mean how do you know so much about it?"

"No!" He almost shouts. "Tris, I'm from the wilds. I often go there. I used to spend most of my time there before you came in my life. It was like I couldn't leave you here alone. I don't know what it was. But I wanted to be with you. Keep you safe. And I've told you before it's difficult but not impossible to go to the wilds". My heart skips a beat at that. I lay my head on his shoulder and put my hand on his which is lying between us.

"Tobias, I like you too," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I know that," he says smiling. He places a kiss on my forehead and instantly I feel those tingling sensations and sparks in my heart.

I bite my lips from asking what periods are. He asked me if I knew about it but never told me what it is.

"Are there many invalids here in Reverie?" I ask.

"Why do you ask?"

"Um .. because people here use that f word often. So ..." I trail off.

"Yes," he assures, "there are but not many".

"Why do they come here?"

"You ask too many questions," he says then adds after a few minutes of silence, "I'll tell you about it someday but not today. Can you swim?" He asks changing the extremely awkward topic.

"No," I say looking down as blood rushes to my cheeks. Nobody really taught me to swim.

"It's okay. I'll teach you. Come on". He stands up and extends his hand to help me up.

"Now?"

"Now, no one's here, so what's the problem?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," I mutter.

He removes his shirt and jumps into the water. I quickly remove my jeans and when I look up, he's gone. Panic surges through me as I look for any sign of him.

"Tobias!" I call out, my voice laced with panic and worry. And that idiot's head pops out of water from far away in the sea. He has reached that far in what, 2 seconds?

"Show off!" I yell and even from here I can hear his laugh. He swims towards me swiftly and so easily as if it's the simplest thing on earth.

"You're here to teach me or to show off?" He chuckles again. That moron!

He stands and comes toward me, when he's on the shore. He looks so beautiful under the moonlight that I can stare at him forever. He is beautiful. And above all he's half-naked!

I stare at his bare wet chest and my hair stand straight as goose bumps arise. He holds my hand with his and tugs me toward him so I'm flush against his chest. I find it difficult to speak.

He raises the hand that's not holding my hand, to my face and holds the loose strands of hair between his fore-finger and thumb. I can't think. I can't breathe. I can't speak. Hell, I can't move. Am I dead? Because it feels like I'm in heaven.

"I'm here to teach you," he whispers and puts the loose strand of my hair behind my ear. He holds my other hand too and pulls me with him. I wordlessly move; he walks with his back turned towards the beach and me in front of him, our hands joined together between us.

Water hits my shoulder blades and that's when I snap out of the trance. "Tobias, we're too deep in the water," I say, my voice panicky.

"Relax; you need to first learn to hold your breath under water". He says calmly. "On the count of three, you'll dunk with me. Take a deep breath," he says and before I can protest, he starts counting.

"1 ... 2 ..."

"Wait! I need some time," I say.

"Take a deep breath," he instructs again.

"1 ... 2 ... 3!" I take a deep breath and he pulls me with him under water. I close my eyes.

"Open your eyes. Don't worry I'm here," Tobias's says.

I open my eyes to meet a pair of blue eyes. My breath hitches, knowing he's staring right at me and his hands are still holding both of mine.

We're forming a circle under water with our hands, I notice. The flow of water pushes me toward him, breaking the circle. He puts his hands on my waist and holds me against him. But I can't breathe, this time not because of the close proximity but because I really need to breath!

Tobias notices this and pulls me to the surface with him. I take a long much needed breath.

---

We lie in my bed side by side, wrapped together, tired. Me, tired from learning to swim and him from teaching me.

"You learnt pretty quickly," he whispers with his nose against my neck.

"You are an amazing instructor," I whisper back somehow even though it's difficult to speak. He smiles against my skin.

Before I can tell what's happening, he's nibbling and biting softly at a sensitive spot of my neck.

"What ... what are you... doing?" I stutter. With so much pleasure I find it hard to suppress the moan I've been holding back. So I moan loudly. He chuckles and licks that spot.

"A love-bite," he answers.

"What is it?"

"You'll find it out yourself," he says and captures my lips with his.

"You're beautiful," he whispers against my lips and when he says it, for some reason I believe him.

"I really like you".

"I like you too".

We lie beside each other talking about random things-favourite colour, favourite food, our daily lives, he tells me about wilds and I tell him about my brother, Christina, my parents. We kiss a little in-between. And I know I'll always remember our time together and miss it.