Don't Blame Me

2

Kai
 
Wow she sure as hell doesn’t look like she wants to be here at all.
I thought she wanted this. The way she looked at me with her green-brownish eyes.
She looked like she really wanted to get to know me and now we’re here. In my car. Not talking. She’s looking out the window and all I can do is focus on the streets.
I wish she’d talk to me. I wish she’d tell me where she’s from. I know for a fact she isn´t from England. Some people may not notice but there's a tiny bit of accent in there. So tiny I couldn´t figure out which one it is.
I want to know what she does in her free time. How she likes her pizza. The reason she gets out of bed in the mornings. The reason she was at the game.
I doubt it was for the interviews. If it wasn’t for me, she’d left without a single one.
 
Ok fuck this.
 
I pulled over to the side of the road.
 
“What is up with you?” I turned to her.
“What do you mean”
“Are you  kidding me? You’re in a car with a goddam football player who is somehow interested in you and all you do is stare out the window? What is up with you?”
“So I have to look at you or what? Pls as if you know me”
“ofc I don’t know you! You don’t talk. Not a single word. I can’t even hear you breathe”
“Why do you want me to talk? Not like you could talk to every single person you want to. Why me?”
”because I ran into YOU because I looked at YOU because you didn’t want to know me through Google because you wanted to get to know ME not the Google Kai the real one and I want to know you”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just I have no idea on how to act. Like you said ur fucking famous and I’m here like Uhmm I embarrassed myself screaming today what am I even doing in this car yk?”
“So you want to tell me you thought I thought you are embarrassing?”
“well I guess I thought you’d never wanna see me again and be like nah don’t know her"
“Well you should’ve known that’s not the case when I showed up to get an interview with the famous Liz whatever. See I don’t even know your surname”
“Payne”
“Liz Payne?”
“Actually it’s Elizabeth But I hate that name”
“It suits you tho” He smiled at me “ Ok so don’t stop talking we just gotta follow them or they’ll eat everything”
“Oh you’re damn right they will" I laughed thinking about Amy and how she’d definitely not wait. “Ok uhm …. I don’t know what to say now it’s embarrassing”
“Just tell me about yourself about everything you want if you’re comfortable” I grinned. Why is she so cute?
“Ok so My names Elizabeth Payne as you know now, I’m 23 Years old I grew up in Germany and moved here with Amy about 5 years ago to go to university. My favorite color is yellow because it brings light and all I ever wanted to do is to be free and just live life to the fullest. Your turn”
“Uhm Let’s see I’m Kai Lukas Havertz my parents wanted me to have German names because both my grandparents were from there. Ever since I was little, I wanted to play football and now I made it. My favorite animals are donkeys because they’re so cute and I just love them and all I want to do right now is don’t fuck up everything because I tend to do that”
I stopped at a red light.
“What do you mean with fuck everything up?” She looked into my eyes.
“Well that´s what all the articles say about me these days. That I fuck up every chance of making goals, that I fuck up the whole team and lastly that I fucked up my last relationship because she cheated on me”
“whoa hold on..  she cheated on you and people blame you?”
I shrugged “It´s always that way”
“I- people need to shut up and mind their own business. Sorry that happened to you and with all the fuck ups about football: I mean your goal was fucking amazing and I don´t know why people are so hard with you, you seem to actually know how to do all this. I could never”
I laughed.
“Thank you Liz. That actually means a lot to me” I smiled at her making her smile back.
“It´s green” she winked and I hurried to continue driving making her laugh
“Kai?”
“hm?”
“Do you sometimes think about just dropping everything because you´re not good enough?”
“I used to all the time especially after games and with all the articles and stuff but It´s my passion and I´m still learning so what if I mess up? It happenes but People tend to forget football players are human too don´t they?”
“I guess they do” she agreed
“Have you ever felt that way?”
She must have if she came up with the question