Second Lead Syndrome || Diluc R. x Reader

Worth

The sun had long gone by now, the silver moon illuminating the quiet city of Mondstadt below. Although the night breeze feels cool on Y/N's skin, she's sweating from training.

Since she finished work early and Donna didn't need her help anymore, Y/N dedicated the rest of her day to train. Thankfully, the training grounds next to the Knights of Favonius Head Quarters are unusually empty tonight.

Y/N kicks down the training dummy when a hand lands on her shoulder. Y/N whips around, taking whoever snuck up on her by surprise.

"Oh, M-Master Jean! I'm so sorry!" Y/N stammers as soon as she recognizes her blue-eyed Acting Grand Master. "I guess I was a little bit lost in the zone."

The blonde Knight smiles. "Don't worry. I should have called out your name." Jean says. "Anyways, you should head home. It's way past midnight."

"Already?" Y/N's eyes go wide. "I'll go home soon." She says, already knowing what Master Jean is about to say.

Jean shakes her head. "Y/N, we've talked about this."

"I'm not overworking myself, I promise!" Y/N insists. "I didn't even have that much work today!"

Jean frowns, her brow creasing with worry. The only one who Y/N ever told about her home life back in Fontaine is Jean. When Y/N was a Knight in training, she needed to explain to Jean why she wanted to become a Knight and why she is worthy. Y/N only told Jean the truth and the whole truth.

"Y/N, are you eating enough? Sleeping enough?" Jean asks with a tone of conern laced in her stern voice.

Y/N nods. Well, I'm only skipping a few meals occasionally. "I'm taking care of myself. You should, too. I'm not the only one with an overworking issue."

Jean crosses her arms. "I'm the Acting Grand Master, Y/N. I have a few more responsibilities to take care of. You should enjoy your leisure time while you can."

"I am, I am. I'll just train a little, teensy, weensy bit more! You don't understand-" Being a Knight of Favonius Captain is all I have going for me. The rest of Y/N's argument gets lost in her throat, only being said mentally.

"What I understand is that you need to get some rest. I don't want you collapsing again." Jean states. "I heard you were late two days ago because you ran all over Mondstadt the day before."

"Well, that was mostly because I was looking for a cat. It ended up being a much harder task than I thought." Y/N explains. 

"My point still stands." Jean tells her. "Head home Y/N, or I might have to force you to take a break from work."

Y/N clenches her jaw. "Alright." Is the only thing she can say as Y/N leaves Jean in the training grounds. 

Y/N frustratedly walks off, passing her house in spite. There's no way she's going home now that Jean basically told her off like she was her mom or something.

I know she's only worried about me, but I don't need her concern. Y/N thinks to herself furiously. She knows that I have nothing if I don't have the Knights. Of course I would want to put my all into this! Plus, she sure is one to talk! Jean basically overworks herself all the time! What a hypocrite! Y/N rants to herself, letting her legs carry her wherever they please. Jean would never understand. She's nothing like me! She's pretty, she's smart, she's the head of the Knights, and her family cares about her. So she should stop telling me what to do. I'll never be good enough if I don't work hard. Y/N pauses to kill a hydro slime that's been trying to chase after her. I'll never be good enough.

Y/N's chest tightens as those words ring in her head. The words she's heard come from the mouths of everyone around her echo in her mind. Ugh, what am I saying? Y/N shakes her head as if to try to shake away the negative thoughts. I'm the Investigative Captain of the Knights of Favonius! Of course I'm good enough! I may not be the prettiest, or the smarttest, or the best at...really anything...but my title has got to mean something, right?

Who am I kidding? I only got that title because the previous Captain retired. Not because I was the best on the team. No. Because I was second-best. I was only ever second-best.

Frustrated tears begin to well up in Y/N's eyes. Come on, don't cry! Seriously? Y/N scolds herself, trying to hold back her tears. Where even am I? Y/N lifts her gaze from the ground by her feet to the forest around her. Glancing around at the large amout of Lamp Grass illuminating the forest floor with their faint, blue glow, Y/N concludes she's somewhere around the Wolvendom.

She leans against a tree, sliding down the trunk and taking a seat on the cool grass. Gods, this is pathetic. She lets the hot tears run down her cheeks as she hugs her knees to her chest. In her sobbing, she doesn't notice the cryo abyss mage gliding towards her. 

As soon as the abyss mage's cackle registers in Y/N's brain, she reaches for her rapier only to realize she left it behind at the training ground. Y/N had just stormed off without collecting any of her things. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Y/N breaks into a run. The abyss mage shoots a sharp crystal of ice at Y/N, cutting her leg. 

"Ow, fuck you!" Y/N hisses as the gash on her calf begins to bleed. Y/N doesn't stop running, but the abyss mage is gaining on her now that she's limping on one leg. "What the fuck am I supposed to do?!" She shouts out as she reaches the edge of a cliff. The abyss mage only cackles louder as it waves it's staff again, another ice crystal shoots straight at Y/N. Am I really going to die to an abyss mage?  Y/N wants to laugh. I'm not even good enough to survive this.

A sudden bright light flashes before Y/N's eyes. "Fire...?"She stares at a tall wall of flames seperating her and the abyss mage who seems to be screaming in agony at the minute. The cries of the monster stop, leaving only the rustle of leaves and the flickering of the flames. Y/N assumes it died. 

A bitter voice spits out,"You call yourself a Captain?"