New Fangs (KNY X HxH)

9

(TRIGGER WARNING| just thought i should add this)

Killua was still lost in thought. Even if I was human, I would still be a monster. Gon's so sweet, and kind, and perfect. He's my opposite, how could I ever be worthy of his friendship? Let alone his love. He bit his lip harder and frowned slightly. But I want him. I want to be friends, I want to make him happy. Then the self doubt came again. But how can I? how can I make him happy like this? Even if just as friends, how can I keep him safe when I can't even trust myself to do the right thing? He never showed it, but any time he smelled blood he felt the urge. It didn't matter how small it was, Killua wanted to find it and devour. It was getting harder to control by the day, what had happened with the spider demon was a result of all this hunger. Truthfully, the human food didn't work. It kind of tasted good, and it made him feel like a human, but he wasn't. and I will never be again.

He felt a hand come hard across his face and it snapped him out of his thoughts. Killua slowly put a hand on his cheek and glanced over at Gon, who despite his harshness had a worried expression. "you wouldn't respond to anything else, I've been trying to get your attention for the past 5 minutes" he sighed, "what is it" Gon blinked. "are you ok?" he smiled, putting his hands behind his head. "yeah, whatcha need?" he saw Tanjiro frown slightly before resuming his kind smile. "well, I was going to go fishing with my new rod! Wanna come?" he was torn, if he went he might risk snapping in front of him. But if I stay, it might worry him even more. "I'm gonna go explore, I haven't finished mapping out the mountain yet" he lied, to which Gon nodded and ran out the door. "See ya later Killua!"

He walked out of the door a few minutes later, circling around and sitting on a tree stump. Killua held his yoyos loosely by the strings as he let the tears fall. I can't protect Gon when I can barely hold myself together, but I can't reveal how vulnerable I am either. He let the yoyos thump into the ground and he let a claw slide out. Maybe... maybe if I can feel the pain I've inflicted on others I might feel better. Killua let the claw hover over his arm for a few seconds, then sliced a long clean cut into it. The wound barely hurt, it felt more like a small bruise. Not good enough. He wiped a tear from his eye and sharpened his hands again, this time making the cut a little deeper and less clean. He felt the sting of pain and sighed, watching the wound close back up. It's still not enough.

Killua started making complex patterns, blood welling up to the surface for a few moments before the wound closed and he licked it up. If I don't, Gon will notice it. His tears started to lessen and he hummed a little while slitting his arm. It does make me feel better, if only I didn't heal as fast. Although, the perk that came from healing fast was that he wouldn't get any scars from it. Gon will never know this way. I don't want him to know, the last thing I want to do is hurt him. By now all the tears were gone and he was smiling a little, maybe he'd do this more often. Killua stood up and stretched, then did in fact go exploring again, he leapt through the trees and fished in a stream. He made sure to eat some of the raw fish. not like it would hurt him anyways, but he didn't know if Gon might be able to smell his own blood on his breath.

For the next couple days, Killua would find an excuse to go without Gon for a while and cut his arm for a few minutes. He would then bring home some food to hide the scent. It was getting really hard to keep up his carefree attitude around Gon though, just looking at him gave him self doubt. "Ne Killua, want to come training with me?" he sighed, "sorry, I gotta go catch us some lunch" Killua flicked him between the eyes and he made an adorable noise. "go have fun" he nodded and bolted out the door, bouncing away. He put on his bamboo covering before he left, that was something he always did when he went out. He would cut his arm, remove the bamboo, eat some food, and come home. Killua's favorite spot to sit was on a rock that overlooked the stream near the top of the mountain, there was one at the top as well as the base.

His self-esteem had gone down by boatloads within the past week, whenever he went and sat on that rock he let the thoughts come. When he was with other people, he pushed down his self doubt as much as he could. But up here, there was no point in hiding it. Killua was about to slit his arm again when he heard a cry for help. He sat up straight, it was a child's voice. Do I trust myself around a child right now? But it's in danger! He leapt up and went in that direction, following the distressed sound. When he finally came upon the noise, he stiffened. There was a young girl, crouching on the ground and trying to defend herself against a man. "You worthless piece of shit!" he clenched his teeth and his claws dug into his skin a little. He could tell, that was her father. Her father was beating her and calling her worthless. Just as he was about to take a swing with a heavy branch, Killua appeared in the way and caught it with one hand.

"What the hell?" he snarled and the man gasped, "how could you do something like that to your own child" he snapped, he felt the girl look up at him and back away a little. "y-you're a-" he grinned, "yes I am. Now fuck off before I tear that pretty face of yours" he dropped the stick and ran, Killua also dropped it and was panting slightly. His body had been getting weaker and weaker without feeding, as well as the urges getting harder to control. "I-Is it safe now?" he glanced behind him and clenched his teeth again at the amount of blood on her. "yes, but there's something I need to tell you" he put up a front and crouched in front of her. "I am a demon" her eyes went wide. "B-but, demons don't help humans" he sighed, then revealed one of his fangs. "demons eat humans but..." he took a deep breath. "most of them don't remember their lives as humans, for some reason I have my memories" he felt himself drooling a little and got up. "I have to go now, but make sure to clean those wounds up. Demons are attracted to blood" she nodded and he gave her one last smile before he left.

As soon as he turned the corner he let his front fall and felt tears sting his eyes. I was seconds away from eating that kid, I'm a terrible person. But then he remembered with a humorless laugh. I'm not a person anymore, I'm a demon. You can't be qualified as a person if you have the urge to eat human flesh and blood. Killua went on a small walk, avoiding the people of the small town as much as he could. Why am I even here? Might as well go back home. As he was walking through the forest again, he smelled some blood. As soon as he did he paused. It smells so much sweeter... he turned and walked in that direction, only to see a kid about 10 suffering from many scratch marks. Some sort of wild animal did that. He was about to walk away when he got another whiff of the blood. Food.

Killua instinctively knew, that this one small human would sate his hunger completely. It was special, more filling. Like eating a hundred meals. His vision went red at the edges and he went forward, sinking his fangs into the human's neck and keeping it still as it squirmed. Delicious. He ripped and tore into it, licking his lips every few times before going in again. Killua felt his energy come back, and felt himself get stronger. His eyes slitted and he dug in deeper, enjoying his first meal in months. When his head cleared, the first thing he registered was the blood on his face. Wait... he let out a gasp and he looked down in horror to see that there was a dead child beneath him. I- I- tears fell from his eyes as he cleaned himself off, then buried the poor thing. I just ate a kid. It was a kid. He finished burying him and then made his way to the stream, cleaning off his clothes and his body. His body felt numb despite the fact that he had increased in power. I'll never forgive myself.

When he finished he put up his front again, making sure to eat 3 fish before replacing his bamboo and making his way up the mountain. As soon as he walked in the door he got bombarded by a hug. "Killua!" he felt himself blush slightly, closing his eyes in happiness like Nezuko taught him to do. "Mh!" Gon ruffled his hair with a smile. "where'd you go today?" 'I went to explore a town I found, then fishing and came back' he took a step back and retrieved his basket. "I wanna try cooking today!" he shrugged, then nodded. Gon beamed and ran outside with the basket, then his eyes caught something. His yoyos with their Nichirin sheaths. Hmm... he picked them up, resting the metal into his palms. He bit back a hiss of pain as the metal seared his skin. It hurts a lot more, but I deserve it. He slipped them into his pockets and left too, brushing past Tanjiro on his way out. He went up to his rock, sliding down into it with a sigh. "it's time" he said softly.

1746 words

To be continued...