BREANA'S POV
Tumagilid ako ng higa at napatulala na naman sa sahig. Matapos lahat parang napipi ako bigla. Its even hard for me to make a single move. Sabi nila bumalik ako sa dati.
Ilang linggo na din nakalipas. Hindi na ako lumabas sa kwartong to. Ayaw pa ring tanggapin ng sistema kong handa na siyang k-kalimutan ako. Diba ito ang gusto ko kaya sinabi ko mga yun?? I'm stuck wala na si lolo zack. Isang paraan na lang sa gusto kong mangyari.
"Snow" hinayaan ko lang si mark na maupo sa harap ko. Naramdaman ko ding lumubog sa may likod ko kaya baka sina kuya at dad yan "You know. Tita blare will get mad if she knew you lied. Big time"
"Are you saying I am wrong?"
"No. Actually I don't know what to say or what advice I should give to you as a husband but you know what makes me happy--it is to see you smiling" hindi na ako kumibo kaya hinawi niya na lang ang buhok ko sa mukha at hinalikan ako saglit sa sintido. Hindi ako umiiyak para hindi sila mabahala. I can do this "You already chose beyond what you like and what you love but if that made you like this? I want to help you reach everything you love to do. I'm fine. I really am and I can feel your sincerity for making up with me. I'm just fine by having a very good and close person like you in my side"
"And I-I am fine mark"
"These bond we built for how many years is priceless and I think that's enough to say that I know you better. I already know what's the ending the moment I saw you loving him. Its hard but its fine. I appreciate how you tried to take care of our child even if I am not around but its not your fault. Ang laban ko dito papel pero ang laban niya ikaw at ang anak niyo mismo" umupo na ako at tinignan sila na alalang nakatingin sa akin. Hinimas ko ang tiyan at napaisip na naman sa mga bagay bagay "But you know its not about me anymore. I know who can make your untidy thoughts into a small and simple sentence. I heard his smart but when its up to you? Makikita mo na lang nagkandaletche letche na ang mga plano. Ikaw lang naman ang hinihintay niya dahil alam mo at naiintindihan ko din na malaking takot ang tumama sa kanya nung umalis ka. He got depressed and this kind of stuff like trauma. He gets anxious all the time at mahirap talaga kapag nagmahal ka ng sobra. But what could we expect from you? You're brave enough to keep all the pain"
"I-I really just don't know" hinawakan naman ako ni kuya blake sa kamay kaya napatingin ako sa kanilang tatlo. They got so worried.
"I'm sorry for trying to set your life with mark. I can finally see how painful it was for you that day. I just want you to have a better life but if that better makes you like this? Why not? I miss mom too but lets all accept the fact--and the fact that he LOVES YOU more than anyone else"
"You don't get it. I feel pity for his family. His DAUGHTER and that KID inside his WIFE'S belly"
"We get it. We knew. He keeps telling me it bothers you all the time with him. It hurts him. Seeing you being bothered for some reasons" umiling lang ako sa sinabi ni kuya lean at tinignan si dad na tahimik lang na hinihimas ang kamay ko. Naiiyak pa siya habang nakangiti ng napakatamis.
"I was once in his position. That's why I supported him throughout everything. Its not easy for him to choose too anak. The hardest decision is in him. Whether to choose for own happiness or what's the duty should do. You still have this in mind on leaving us. Your mother is fine wherever she is. Besides we know she have her fathers and parents by her side right now. Its enough"
"And bella is fine. She's fine 101%. If that also bothers you. We are all fine baby. It is just you we are waiting to smile again. Tsaka walang problema kahit bumalik ka pa sa dati na pagiging spoiled dahil talagang ibibigay namin sayo lahat para lang guminhawa buhay mo"
"Kambal dad is right. The hardest decision is in him but I think he already chose even he got you pregnant. He has this action that really went bad through the years without you but he knows what to choose already. He just made sure full percent that this baby could be his way to you. I think he always choose you since before, may decision lang na dapat niyang pagisipan kung paano niya magagawa ng maayos"
***
Napatingala ako nang bumungad sina sandy at hanna. Tinabi ko muna ang hawak ko at lumapit sa kanila. Umalis naman si mark para siya na magligpit ng mga gamit namin.
"Narinig namin kay angela na lumipat kayo hehe" nakangisi sila kaya niyakap ko muna sila at pumasok na. Hinayaan ko lang silang sumunod "Kaya madalian din kaming lumipat sa unit nina gene hehe"
"Thank you for visiting us" kinuha ko muna ang kumot at humarap ulit sa kanila. Oo lumipat kami kung saan iisa lang ng gusali kina chase. I-I hope I'll get a-along with my neighbors. Baliw na ako sa ginagawa kong to!!
"That's fine! See yah! Gagawa kami ng handa sa taas kahit wala yung mga may ari haha. Hindi naman siguro magagalit yun basta kayo kakain"
"W-where are they?"
"Ahm--ahh sa h-hospital?"
"W-what? Why?"
"Yung isa pabalik balik ang sakit habang yung isa n-nanganak na nung nakaraan pa" ngumiti na lang ako sa kanila kaya nagmamadali silang lumabas. A-alam ko na kung sino. Napatingin ako kay mark na inabot ang phone niya. Hindi ko na binubuksan yung phone na bigay sa akin dahil baka wala pa rin kay chase ang phone niya a-at baka galit pa siya.
"Its not bad to ask. I waited for you to know it by yourself" tumalikod lang ako sa kanya at inayos ang kumot sa higaan. Maliit na kwarto lang tong kinuha namin at hindi yung masyado pang madaming lilinisin.
Lumapit naman si mark sa akin at siya na naglagay sa kamay ko. Nakabukas na yun kaya ilang pindot na lang pwede ko na siyang makausap o hindi kaya kahit konting balita sa kanya.
"Gagawa na lang ako ng meryenda natin" tumango lang ako at medyo nanginginig pang tinapat ang phone sa tenga. Umupo ako sabay himas sa tiyan. Sobrang kinakabahan ako. After I dump him in front of everyone??? Sino ba ang hindi mahihiya kung ako na naman tong naghahanap ng paraan para magaway sila ng a-asawa niya.
*criiiiiingg*
"Hell--Mag fafile ako ng annulment! Yan ang problema diba?! Tawagin niyo ang abogado ko at ipapawalang bisa ko ang kasal namin!--ayan ka na naman. Huwag ka ng magwala. Hindi ka makakaisip ng maayos niyan!--anak may pupunta dito at handang handa sila tumulong basta umayos ka lang--tsk hindi niyo alam pa kung paano to ibabalik sa dati! Wala na akong maisip na ibang paraan!!"
"H-hello?"
"Snow anak?! Ikaw ba to?!--w-what?"
"T-tita gelly?"
"Oo anak ako to--shhh" napalunok pa ako at kumunot ang noo dahil sobrang tahimik bigla ng kabila maliban sa ingay ng aircon at yung machine. Bumuntong hininga ako. Are they all listening? H-he can hear me??
"I-I'm sorry tita. Wrong number. I-I was about to call t-tita monik"
"By the way tita we heard the news from sandy" gulat akong tumingin kay mark na sumingit tsaka umupo pa sa tabi ko habang may dalang cake. Kinuha niya ang cellphone at niloudspeak kaya hindi na ako nakaangal at yumuko na lang.
"Nandyan kayo sa condo nila? Silang dalawa lang naiwan ngayon"
"We just moved in. Same floor with angela"
"REALLY???! That's great! We'll visit you later veeeeery soon!"
"Huwag na tita. Pupunta sina blake dyan diba po?? Alam na nilang may check up si snow ngayon. Magkita na lang po tayo dyan"
"Really??!! That's even great!!!"
"I-I'm sorry tita but I don't feel going out t-today. We'll just going to call tita luna to come here"
"Its already in your sched and I made sure earlier you had enough sleep. So tita we'll still going" napayakap na lang ako sa kanya at tinago ang mukha sa leeg. B-buti nandito siya! I d-don't have that confidence!
