What I Thought Was Love

Chapter Four

The first week with Niall was very intimate, I saw him nearly everyday. We would make love at least once a day, if not more. To be honest, it was exhausting but Niall had the stamina of a teenage boy. It wasn’t long before I was practically living at Niall’s house, which was significantly larger than my loft. I would go home about once a day to feed my cat, Mr. Poppers, and get a change of clothes for the next day. Luckily, Niall was only about half an hour away from my house.

I was cooking dinner in the kitchen when Niall walked in. He pushed all my hair to one side and starting kissing my neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He started swaying his hips side to side while pressing his lower half closer to me.

“Niall, not right now I’m cooking!” I said laughing.

“C’mon babe, just a quicky,” he whispered longingly in my ear.

“We’ve already done it this afternoon!” I commented eagerly.

“And you loved it,” he whispered and started kissing my neck again.

“Please Niall, no,” I said sternly. Niall exhaled on my neck, obviously disappointed and without saying a word he let go of me and left the room. I was surprised by his reaction; I never thought Niall would storm out like that. ‘He doesn’t even know my birthday or where I was born, he doesn’t know anything about me. Is he just using me for sex?’  I thought to myself. At first I pushed it out of my mind, but I began to realize its true. Niall hardly knows anything about me, it has just been purely sexual.

I finished the beef stir fry I made for Niall and I. I made two plates of the food and carried it down the hallway. I stopped just outside Niall’s office door, I could hear him playing his guitar and playing ‘A-Team’ by Ed Sheeran. His voice was just as beautiful as I remember it, I hadn’t heard him sing the whole time I had been at his house. But there was something different about his voice, it was more mature, deeper and had this power over me. I felt myself swooning over his voice. Suddenly I heard the strumming stop, “Fuck!” I heard Niall shout. I knocked on the door, “Niall? It’s Rosemarie, I brought you some dinner.”

“Leave it outside the door, I’m busy,” he snapped back.

“Okay,” I said hesitantly, “but is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said coldly.

“Okay” I knew everything wasn’t okay, but I left the plate on the floor and walked back to the kitchen. I sat at the table, eating dinner by myself. I hardly ate anything before I got fed up.

I stormed down the hallway towards Niall’s office. I pounded on the door.

“What?!” I heard Niall shout from inside the room.

“Open the door.” I said after noticing that the door was locked.

“I’m busy.” He simply responded.

“Well I’m leaving then” I swiftly walked down the hallway. I got to the door and I pulled on my coat and boots. I was walking to the counter to grab my purse and keys when I heard the office door swing open. Niall quickly turned the corner and stopped in the door frame when he saw me about to leave.

“Please don’t go,” he whispered.

“What?” I said, unsure of what he said. He started walking towards me, grabbing my free hand, “Please don’t leave” I could see his eyes, as blue as the sea, pleading with me to stay.

“Why should I?” I said angrily.

“Because-“ he paused, his eyes searching for an answer.

“So you can have sex with me?”

“No! Because I love having you around, you’re great company Rosemarie” Niall said defensively.

“Niall, I was just eating dinner by myself. You’re always in your office, you don’t know anything about me!” I yelled.

“Rosemarie stop” he pleaded holding my hand. I tore away from his grip and he leaned into kiss me, desperately trying to make right what he wronged. I turned my head- harshly denying his kiss. No words were said as I turned and walked out the door. I got in my car and fought tears all the way home.

 Niall’s POV

“FUCK!” I yelled as I watched her drive away. I hated how accustomed I became to this feeling. It happens all the time. I meet a great girl who cares about me and only wants to make me happy, but then my insatiable desire for intimacy overrides my system. But Rosemarie was right, I hardly knew anything about her.

I laid in bed that night, her scent still lingering in my sheets making me think of the past few nights with her. They were some of the best nights I’ve ever had, the passion in her eyes as we made love was different than any other girl I had ever been with. And I screwed it all up, but this time I’m going to fix it. I can’t let her slip away too.