reason to live (short story) - (UPDATED)✔️

the meaning of love.

Nolan

  relationships no longer only consist of love. nor the easy things that you're able to share or achieve with your significant other. it's a romanticized topic in which causes single people to feel alone.

love isn't lust, and fate doesn't always bring us together. with storms of rage and screams and cries. she stayed because she had to, she chooses because she loved him. love is toxic. it's not a fascination you can correlate with just a snap of your fingers. and rings don't mean much when it comes to separation until a child's involved.

feelings change and so do people, the man that you've grown alongside of can hate your guts the next day. love is scary, so undeniably terrifying. and to let it fall from the cracks of your finger tips, it's gone. but if you love hard enough can you beat all the odds to your favor or will you go down wondering?

what is love?

p.s Nolan
—
i haven't cried. that's weird, that's not supposed to happen, is it? i look towards Elliot as he fettles with my fingers while we lie against the sandy beach together. "this doesn't feel right, is it supposed to feel like this?" i say with a light tone, almost coming out as a whisper.

he puts his hand in mine as we stare into each other's eyes. his gaze shining under the moon as the stars paint our silhouettes into the sand. the silence takes us whole with bare hands. the feeling is unfamiliar a certain kinda comfort that i've found and lost. something that i could let go with the waves if i wasn't careful enough to keep now. it's almost as though this action was a sign of reassurance.

so steep and endless. like paradise made a person. "happy birthday, Nolan." he says with a tinted smile, his voice coming out soft as we hold intense eye contact. "Elliot, i think i'm in love with you," i confess in a hushed tone as i watch his pale expression change. and before more could be said i was getting tackled by him.

placing himself on my lap as he hugs me tightly. the sound of sniffles weakening my heart as he rests his head against my shoulder. i eventually hug back caressing his hair as i realize that my boyfriend has probably been waiting for me to say this for a long time. i don't think of the madness in my brain in that moment, instead i think of him. how i love him.

i put my hand on his chest motioning for him to show me his face. he finally does and i chuckle at his tears. "i hate you so much." he says as i wipe his face with my hands. "i love you too." he says pulling me in for a blissful kiss. our lips engaging in ways that they haven't in a really long time.

i don't think you understand just how well you are at making me feel normal, thank you.