reason to live (short story) - (UPDATED)✔️

cheat day.

Nolan

a plant. i had received a plant named Delbi from my therapist. the plant is beautiful indeed but i doubt that such a vulnerable thing could continue to grow by me. i told Ellie about the news, showed it to him and all. he said that it resembles a part of myself that i have yet to see through my own eyes. what that part was, i asked and he denied.

today he was off of work, and instead of busying himself with house chores, he decided that he'll have a cheat day. so we ignored the world and locked lenses through each other's eyes.

and what better way of doing that then by cuddling on the sofa of the living space? my body resting against the side of the couch as Ellie set himself between my legs holding the book up as he reads it out loud for me to hear.

cheat days are rare for us. he works so often that we don't get to have quality time like most couples. and since he works long hours he's only able to return home at midnight. but today was a day of freedom for us both.

i look to the plant once more. it's sitting in front of the glass wall as the moon shimmers upon its leaves. it was an astonishing view that couldn't have been missed. how simple items could hold such an aesthetic, i wonder was this what Ellie meant before? could he look at me with such admiration as i did to the sudden plant? that i'll never know.

-

today i wasn't alone. Jule and i looked at the plant. i look to her as she bent down to caress her thumb against one of the leaves lightly. "how'd you get this plant again?" she questions looking up at me. "therapist." i reply running my hand smoothly through my hair as i walk to the kitchen to go make coffee for the both of us.

"it's growing fine, you don't have anything to really worry about. it looks really healthy too." i nod to her response, handing her a cup of coffee as she stands back up to join me on the sofa. "so how are things with you and Elliot?" i think first before speaking, "good?" i sip my coffee before looking at her.

"there's no right or wrong answer when it comes to emotional capabilities." she responds. i let out a small scoff to myself as the word capability mirrors itself off of my tongue. "i'd rather not say." i comment while sitting the mug down on the table in front of us. "okay, well how about how you've been holding up?" she questions. "you're a very persistent person, you know." she chuckles at my response.

"if so, then so be it." she comments with a playful grin causing me to give a slight smile. "i'm here aren't i?" i say responding to her question while giving a sly shrug. "life is not enough without living, live the way you soak in books. be fund of the life you've written to seek. then you wouldn't have to imagine so much." her poetic perseverance was not enough reassurance when it came to my stubbornness, so with that i rolled my eyes.

it's never that easy.