P.s. I Still Love You Niall

Chapter 9

Niall doesn’t want to get out of bed today. He doesn’t want to read Zayn’s letter today. He doesn’t want to see anyone today, he doesn’t want their pity. Today was going to be a bad day, so that’s why he’s been trying to sleep all day, but failing miserably. Wow, I can’t even sleep, am I good at anything? Niall thought, screaming, face-down into his pillow.

He didn’t even call out of work, which he knew was a mistake. He’s only in been back for about four months, and this was not the time to stop going all-of-the-sudden. He was sure he was going to get an ear full tomorrow, but at least he would be prepared for it.

Niall knew it was itching towards fourteen in the afternoon, which was not an exceptionable hour for a 23 year-old to still be in bed. He was supposed to have priorities and responsibilities that he recently started to abandon again. He didn’t mean to lose ambition, it just happened, right after the grave yard incident. It messed him up- bad. It was like he was actually talking to Zayn again, which felt so good. It felt like they were finally reunited after several long months without each other. Especially after the dream he had, but for some reason it didn’t feel like a normal dream. It was like Zayn actually came to talk to him in the dream. Niall still longs for another visit, but has yet to get one.

He pushes himself off the bed, and right after he steadies, he hears his door slam shut. He immediately froze, waiting for other noises to signalize he wasn’t in any danger.

“Niall?” Louis’ squeaky, feminine voice rang through the flat, allowing Niall to breathe one more. The sound of keys clanging on a counter top brought Niall out of his once shared room, with a shirt half over his head. Louis looked up, with a few envelopes in his hand. “I got your mail,” He held up to Niall to prove he wasn’t lying, and laid the mail on the counters, conjoining with his keys.

Panic took over Niall, what if he saw the letters? “Why? W-why would you get my mail?” Niall stumbled over his words, not dropping Louis’ gaze.

“What’s the big deal? I used to do it all the time. Just being nice..” Louis shrugged his shoulders and made his way towards the fridge to grab a drink. “Don’t be so thankful.”

“No, it’s not that. Thank you,” Niall blurted out, being at a loss for words. He shuffled over to the counter to grab the bills, and of course, the well expected letter. “I’m just going to take this in the bedroom,”

“Mm..” Louis mumbled back, half-acknowledging Niall even said a word. Niall slipped out of the room, and flipped through the bills. He flicked his fingers over the dated note that was waiting to be opened. He contemplated throwing it away because he knew this would not make him feel better, it would solve nothing. Although, his curiosity got the better of him and he tore through the sticky envelope dated 7th, February.

Hello Niall,

I hope you haven’t decided to do anything today, because I have something for you to do. I’m sure you noticed the date, and you know what that means. Happy three-year anniversary! I wish I could be there with you today. We could do all sorts of things, like lay in bed and I could make you breakfast. You know, all the cheesy things we always did. That’s one of my favorite memories.

I think I would have proposed to you today if I was still around. I’m sorry if you didn’t want to know that, or that makes you sad. I never wanted to hurt you, I hope you know that. You were my number one priority, that’s why I had to let you go.

I will tell you what my actual favorite day is. The day I first kissed you, by the tree in the park. We weren’t together very long, but it meant a lot to me because it was a symbol that you’d be a part of me for the rest of my life, and you were. Thank you for that. Thank you for not leaving me throughout all the shite I put you through. You never deserved that, I didn’t deserve you. You could have just up and left, but you didn’t. I wish I knew what made you stay all these years. If I didn’t leave, would you still be here? I just like to think you would. Hell, I don’t even know if you’re reading these.