*TW* eating disorder and talking about hating life.
𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙈𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛...
𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩? 𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥𝙨𝙤𝙣? 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙞𝙜 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚?! 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢!! 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙛 𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩? 𝙃𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬... 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩. 𝙊𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙯𝙮 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙠𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙞𝙭 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨. 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚. 𝙈𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚... 𝘼𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥. 𝙄𝙛 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙖𝙨𝙠 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙖𝙩? 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙬, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨. 𝙎𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢𝙢𝙖 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙗𝙮𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩. 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛.
~Tw~ over.
The next day I woke up at 6 in the morning so I could get ready for school. I took a shower, dried off, got dressed, and fixed my hair. I went downstairs and ate breakfast, then I quickly left the house, got in my car, and drove to school.
I pulled up to school, went inside to my locker, and got my books for English class. I turned around and saw my best friend Eli Griffin, with his dumb ass self. "Collin what's up bro," Eli said with his smiley self (he was high). "You're high at school you dumbass!" I whisper yell at him. He just laughs, punches my shoulder, and tells me to shut up.
We walked to English class and met up with our other friend Alex Archer, they are new to our friend group but we love them the same. They are non-binary and openly lesbian.
We got to class and sat down "Listen up class there is a new student, introduce yourself" I looked up at him and just stared he is very hot. "Hey, I'm Derek Ryder I play football and I'm gay" my mouth dropped and Eli smacked me upside the head. I closed my mouth quickly and dropped my eyes to the desk. I look over when I realize someone sat down next to me, it was Derek.
He looked at me and held out his hand to shake it, I took his hand and then said "I'm Collin nice to meet you" he smiled at me and said, "nice to meet you too Collin."
We went back to the lesson and when it ended we went to our next classes. I went to my math class and Derek went wherever he went for the next class. Alex also went to the same math class so we walked together while Eli went to his science class.
Classes went by normal until lunch rolled around, and then Claire happened. Eli, Alex, and I were sitting at our normal table, then Derek walked up to our table we all looked up as he asked "Hey, can I sit with y'all" we all said yes and he sat down. We were talking about why he moved here and he just said his dad got a new job, but I could tell he was keeping something from us but I didn't push it.
*TW* homophobia and slurs, cursing, and blood/ a "fight"
"Oh god here comes the she-devil," Eli said. I looked up and yep there she was Claire Carter, my step-sister. She walked up to our table and gave me the dirtiest look and then said "Oh look it's the faggot and his faggy friends" I flinched at that I hate that word. Derek stood up and looked at her with a glare "Oh look it's the bitch that doesn't know how to come up with better insults" he said and all of us laughed when she screeched. "You can't talk to me like that do you even know who I am!" she yelled at him. "I don't give two fucks who you are, you don't talk to people like that!" Derek screamed back at her.
She dared to slap him and he just looked at her and then Alex jumped up and punched the hell out of her. "Leave people the fuck alone you stupid homophobic bitch!" Alex screamed at her. Claire ran out of the cafeteria crying and blood dripping out of her nose.
~Tw~ over.
After that, we all went back to eating. We finished lunch and then went to the next class. The rest of the day went by smoothly, at the end of the day Alex and Eli planned to come over so we asked Derek to come over too. He accepted so Alex, Eli, and I got into my car while Derek drove his car. We pulled up to our house and of course, Claire was home.
"Warning the she-devil lives here, she's my step-sister," I told him and he just looked at me with an "I give up look" I just laughed and said it would be okay. I unlocked the door and we all walked in and they followed me upstairs to my room. We all throw our bags down and kick off our shoes. "Movies?" I asked. They all said yeah so I played the first conjuring movie. We watched that movie and then we watched the last 2 movies. By the time we watched them all, it was 8 o clock and both Alex and Eli were asleep. "Hey, is it okay if I smoke here?" Derek whispered. I looked at him and nodded then told him to follow me outside.
"I didn't know you smoked," he said when I lit up a cigarette. I looked at him and blew out the smoke then said "Yeah I use it to cope" he nodded his head at me then we fell quiet. The others woke up and came outside to look for us when they didn't see us in the room. They both lit up cigarettes and we all just smoked then went back in. My mother was in the kitchen and called us to the kitchen to eat dinner. "Mom is it okay if my friends eat dinner with us," I asked my mom, she nodded her head. We all sat down, I just looked at the food on my plate. "Just try to eat, please dear" I heard my mom say. "I'll eat the salad and the fruit but that's it," I told my mom. She nodded proudly and smiled at me I smiled back.
*TW* homophobic slurs, cursing, and yelling.
Steven and Claire came down shortly after and sneered at all of us. "What are those two bitches doing in my house," Claire said. I laughed and looked up at her straight in her eyes "This. Is. Not. Your. House." I told her in the calmest way I could but still sounded angry. She looked appalled by that statement, my mom looked proud of me but didn't say anything. "You fucking useless faggot, this is my daughter's house just as much as it is yours" Steven yelled while banging his fist on the table. My mom looked terrified, I was on the verge of tears, and my friends just stared. "I think it's time for y'all to go thanks coming over," I told them quickly and ushered them out of the door with their stuff.
Once they were gone I yelled at Steven "How could you be such a bitch to me in my own home with my mother right there and my friends here, like have some human decency" I started crying during my outburst. Steven slowly walked near me and I walked backward until my back hit the wall and he was close to my face "Don't you yell at me you worthless piece of shit, you're just a disappointment" he raised his voice I started shaking "Get away from him" my mom said he looked at her and backed away. I ran upstairs as fast as I could, I locked my door and ran to my closet. It's time to write again.
~TW~ over
~~
Okay sorry about a lot of trigger warnings in this chapter, but I think these first few chapters need to show a plot. I will always make sure to have TW from where they start to end.
Also this is longer than normal - 1425 words
Have a great day ~ Archie ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Dear myself I guess?
RomanceCollin Smith a young boy with a big secret that could change his whole life so he writes a journal. He keeps to himself, but one day his step dad moves in with them with his daughter and stuff goes downhill from there. He writes all of his thoughts...
