Beyond Revenge

Prologue

   PROLOGUE

  April 1980. They ran hand in hand through the bushes and up the hill towards  their favorite place to be. The place where the world didn’t know of their existence. The place where they could see the world but the world couldn’t see them. Finally after they crossed the little stream that ran across the fields they arrived, sweaty and anxious to be in each others’ arms. He stripped off his clothes and leaned against the tree that had their names carved in it and surrounded by a heart. He arched back slightly and devoured her with his eyes while she untied her hair and stripped off her underwear sensually, slowly and silently. He made it his job to unbutton her blouse, then unhooked her bra. He gasped at the sight of those two round perfectly shaped breasts and immediately dived for them, probing with his tongue. She reached for him, kissing him, nibbling at his earlobes and down his neck and back up to his lips where they engaged in a hot kiss. He rubbed her erect nipples slowly with one hand. She gasped as waves of pleasure invaded her. His other hand traveled up her uniform skirt and made round circled on her lower belly, teasing her, making her ache for more. They couldn’t control their emotions as they engaged, knocking the senses out of them with such violent pleasure. Her body went limp as she rested her head on his shoulder, smiling to herself with plenary satisfaction. “Come home with me Catherine” he said to her as she got off him. “What?” she asked surprised and excited, trilled and scared that he might be serious. But wasn’t that what she had longed to hear from him for so long? “I was thinking last night while I was all alone and I know I can’t go one more day without you Cathy” he said in a proposing tone. “Is this a proposal?” she asked still bewildered. “Yes, call it whatever you want my love, but come home with me. I’m not rich but I can manage for both of us, you don’t have to work, just stay beautiful for me all day till I come home” he said with a smile. “I’ve longed to hear that from you, and my answer is yes. I don’t know what my Mother will do or will say but I know I want to be with you always, plus I’ll be a great mother for your children” she said this time laughing.   They went home as they came, hand in hand and singing out their favorite song. As they got home she went to the kitchen to prepare dinner and was surprised to see the kitchen neat and tidy. The pantry stocked with canned goods, flour, rice and all the necessary groceries. He was a food lover. For that reason she’d been collecting recipes from neighbors and magazines and trying them at home. She knew he’d be asking her any day to marry him or just run away from home, which was the way everyone in town did it these days anyway. They ate and talked about getting married in a year. Children a couple years later down the road. He looked at her with melting love in his eyes and she was innocently in love with him too. “ I love you John” she said. “ I love you right back my girl; wait a minute, ‘my fiancée’ ” he corrected himself and went around the table to wrap her up in his strong arms. She was beautiful, with bright dark eyes and dark brown hair and just the perfect tanned complexion. She was not only to him, but to every guy in town a dream, the way she held herself with confidence and a friendly smile that stole hearts. John on the other hand was not handsome, but had attractive features and a charming smile with sharp blue eyes and blond hair that he kept bald these days. He was tall and had a lean body. He was sensual and that is what drove girls crazy about him. what was the quote girls would always use for him? that a man with masculine features and a sensual body like his was worth so much more than a pretty face.   The days went by and as it was accustomed in town, after ‘running away’ from home with a guy you came back and asked to be ‘forgiven’, he decided it was time for that forgiveness from her parents and to formally ask for her hand in marriage. Some parents would be upset about their daughters living with someone without marrying first but others accepted the fact, after all they couldn’t change how the world evolved and they had once done it as well.   Two months later Cathy came running out of the bathroom excited and scared. She was pregnant! She had to scream out the news. “ Honey, you’re going to be daddy!” she cried out. “ What the heck are you talking about Catherine? This better be a bad joke” he blurted out looking at her and realizing she was not joking. “ Honey but we didn’t protect—” “Cathy we can’t have a baby” he said while he got up from his chair and nervously combed his fingers through his hair. “ John are you ok? We’re having a baby that’s great, isn’t it? You love kids honey” “I love them yes, but we----” He couldn’t bring himself to tell her the sad and annoying news of their financial situation. He’d been working hard at the ranch trying to keep things going but nothing had been working. Everything seemed to be falling apart. The work crew he had, diminished to half of them and he couldn’t keep some of the cattle alive. “But what John? Look at me? I thought we were in this together”. A tear rolled down her cheek when he wouldn’t look at her. “ I’m sorry honey—I’ve….mm..had a few bad days, that’s all”. “Come sit down and tell me” she demanded. “ Something’s up. I heard a few of the cowboys quit, so just spill everything” “Ok Cathy” he said as he sat down.   He explained everything to her with details. He felt much better after that, he had relieved a big load off his shoulders. She always had that power to make him feel at ease---like everything was so serene and calm and there were no worries, no responsibilities. It would’ve been selfish of him to worry her all along---that’s why he decided to keep it to himself. She didn’t need the worry. After all he had told her to be at home and keep beautiful for when he got back. And she did that and more.   Days and months went by, they tried their best to keep things going. One by one everyone started quitting. There were no more orders from clients. Word was going around that his cattle had diseases. What else was there to do? He couldn’t think straight lately. He’d lost 10 pounds since this whole mess started. Catherine tried her best to keep him calm. She offered to work even though her morning sickness was unbearable---but she’d do it. He deserved everything from her. He’d given it to her all along and now it was time to show how much she appreciated him.   While she prepared dinner one night, he sat down on the front porch steps where he could still see her. He crossed his legs and looked up at the sky as if it was the last time he would see the stars and the moon. His mind occupied on his present situation, he decided that the following morning he’d be gone. He wouldn’t tell her where, but he was sure he’d return with great news to put that smile on her face again. He’d been frustrated lately and he poured some of it on her. He knew it’d been so wrong—he apologized---they’d make love again and things were still a turmoil in his head. It’ll happen again tonight he thought, for the last time this time. After that I want to make love to her without this burden.     Catherine woke up to the sound of the alarm the following day. She had been planning her day the night before. She would go out to town and ask for a job. If she couldn’t get one then she would have to go further. She’d have to travel to the city—the busy city—and she would come back with the news for him. She rolled to the side and noticed that John was gone early today. “Hmmm” she thought “ that’s strange. I didn’t hear him leave”. She went outside and there was no sign of her beloved one. Glancing at her wristwatch she hurried on to the shower and then got ready to seek a job. She prayed for something to come up. She knew it would be harder for anyone to hire her now, her tummy was showing some—luckily she didn’t grow bigger already at 5 months. She hadn’t told anyone about her pregnancy besides her mom, but people always managed to poke their noses into other people’s lives and sooner or later they would find out and she’d probably be the joke in town. They would probably say “she tried to hide it” or “does she think we’re stupid blind”. She didn’t care. Today she would hold her head up high and seek a job. Come back home with the news to her love.   One, two, three days went by. Soon it would be a week and there was no sign that John was around or coming back. She assumed he was looking for a job, after all she did it too, without telling him. Second week she gave up waiting and decided to go on the look out for him. No one in town had seen him. He hadn’t told anyone of his whereabouts and she was already weary by the end of the week. But where could he have went? There was a little voice in her head saying he took off with another woman---but she knew John, didn’t she? He’d never do such a thing to her. Not after what they had lived together, after he knew she was pregnant, after he had made love to her and looked her in the eye when he said ‘I love you’. Something must be wrong. She found a job, luckily; and she was starting the following day. At a hair salon. Tiring job—sure—but it had to be done. Another week went by. Then another. Then it was a month. She kept glancing out the window with hopes to see him coming back. One day someone told her they’d seen him with someone else. That he would never settle down or care to be tied up with a baby. But she didn’t believe it---she couldn’t possibly imagine her John with another woman. Call her a coward but she wasn’t going to run around looking for him anymore either.
Four months later she gave birth to Jason McCall. The handsome blue eyed baby with blonde eyebrows--the image of the father he might never meet.