Mummy, Daddy and Me

Birthday Surprise.

Carter

I sighed and flipped off my alarm. It was 8am on the weekend but I needed to be up. It was Jess' birthday today and she was at home with Phoebe right now. However, Pheebs is bringing her over here at around 10am. I had two hours to get everything ready for her. We've decided to throw a small party for her and her little friends and then tomorrow we are doing a big girl get together with family and friends.

She has quite a few little friends as she attended a group with Phoebe once a week. She absolutely adores going! Both of them really do. Phoebe has offered to take me but I've been a little scared. You see, this wasn't the first time being a daddy but it was the first time doing it properly. My last little one was sexual and I tried to do it with her when she was small but it made me sick to the stomach. I told her I didn't want to do it sexually and she broke it off with me. I then found Phoebe and she just happened to have a little. I was nervous going into it- not really knowing what to expect but Phoebe and Jess both made me feel so welcome and loved it was lovely. I'm hoping the party today where I can meet the other Caregivers with Phoebe and Jess there in the comfort of my own home helps ease my anxiety with taking her to her group. I want to do it and strengthen that bond but it was nerve racking nonetheless.

I made myself a protein shake, let Ray and Forest out in the garden and began cleaning up. My house was quite clean already- having Jess around regularly meant it had to be. I washed the dishes from the night before and then put all the plates and things outside ready for later.

I then got to work setting up the banners, balloons and other decorations. We had ordered big helium balloons. One set were the letters of her name, the other was a big dinosaur balloon and then a big one saying happy birthday. We didn't get her any numbers because it would be inaccurate. Her big girl self was turning 22 but her little age fluctuated so much it was almost impossible to identify how old she would feel today. Plus, this morning she could feel older in headspace but by night, feel a lot smaller. We had '22' balloons for tomorrow when we do the other big girl party but for now, it was the dinosaur and her name.

I had filled some of the balloons with confetti and set up the party games, music, the present table (which was already pretty much full from me and Phoebe) and then made some comfy cushion areas for them to sit as well as set up the BBQ and tables for them to eat at. The weather was lovely therefore the party was in the garden and I'm hoping, fingers crossed, that the dogs behave.

Just as I picked up my phone to check the time, I heard the dogs barking and the excited squeal of my little one. I watched as she came crashing through the house and straight into the garden- shoes on and all. She jumped up into my arms just in time for me to catch her safely and gave me a big hug.

"Hello my little birthday girl," I giggled, rubbed her back and gave her cheek a big kiss. She giggled, whispered a thank you and got down. She was wearing a dinosaur t-shirt with a denim playsuit over the top. I could see the outline of her nappy under it too. Phoebe had braided her hair and she just looked oh so cute. She ran into the middle of the garden and did a big twirl to look around and smiled happily. She jumped and squeaked seeing the balloons and all the presents and the wide smile on her face didn't falter once.

"Wow, it looks lovely," I heard Phoebe say as her hand connected with my back. I smiled, wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug.
"Thanks my lovely. How are you?" I asked, kissing her gently.

"I'm good. Tired but I'll live," she giggled and nuzzled her nose into my neck. I held her tight and kissed her head.

"Didn't you sleep well?"

"I would have if the little monkey over there wasn't up all night crying for me."

"Why? Is she okay?"