Mummy, Daddy and Me

Slow down! Pt.2

Jess
I felt so stupid. Sometimes, when in this state, I had comprehension of my big girl self and the mean thoughts slip in. When I'm super little, it's so encompassing, I genuinely just feel small and can get away with it all. This, was so hard. I had Phoebe's support all the way though and now I felt stupid for pushing her away.
I just wanted to be normal and I didn't understand why I wasn't. Well, I did. I knew why my head was like this but sometimes, I hated it.
Sometimes, all I wanted to be was normal. All these other little kids, real little kids, on their Easter egg hunt and then there is me trying to be like them but just failing because I'm so much bigger and older. I hated it. No, I resented it.
Why couldn't I just be normal.
"You're walking quite fast," I heard Phoebe say behind me.
"Why are you even following me?" I groaned. I didn't want her to be here because I felt bad.
"Because I want you to be okay. Can you stop walking for like five seconds." I stopped abruptly in the middle of the path and felt her bump into me.
"God, not like that," she groaned, rubbing her chest which my head collided with- I couldn't help but giggle. My head bounced off her boobs. I turned around and looked at her, trying to hide my smile.
"I see that, cheeky." She smiled at me to and took my hand. I groaned but let her lead me to a bench. She sat down and I sat beside her, avoiding eye contact.
"You're not stupid." She said to me after a few minutes. "You're not weird or annoying or dumb." I groaned. She knew everything. I felt her move some hair from my face.
"You're a little girl who has been hurt so much throughout her life- who never deserved any of it. You need protecting and looking after. Whatever you're thinking about yourself princess," she moved closer to me and I felt her wrap her arms around me. "It's not true."
"How do you know?" I mumbled, leaning into her.
"Because I know what you've been through and that you're just trying to survive." She mumbled in my ear, putting her head on my shoulder.
"No." I whispered. "How do you know exactly what I'm thinking?"
She chuckled a little and squeezed me slightly. "Because I love you. And I know you. You're my princess, it's like in the rule book to know these things."
I nodded, that was true.
I sighed and slouched. "Sometimes, when I'm older in headspace, the mean thoughts slip in more and I'm more aware of what's going on and I don't like how the thoughts take over. I'm sorry I got angry with you." I turned in her arms and put my head in her shoulder, cuddling into her.
"I understand that baby. Thank you for apologising." She squeezed me. "Carter and I are always here for you. No matter what." She kissed the side of my head and I wrapped my arms around her.

Carter
I felt so bad for Jess. Sometimes, I just wish I could take all of the bad things out of her life and make her the happiest kid alive but I couldn't. I paid extra for a bigger egg which wasn't even an egg. It was a big, chocolate bunny and it looked so good and she deserved it so much. I hunted through the park, looking for the girls and I could see them through the trees. However, I decided to give them some time. As much as I loved Jess and wanted to protect her, Phoebe always knew how to make her feel better.
I took a seat at the cafe and texted Phoebe, letting her know. I wasn't going to rush them.

Half an hour later, Jess ran up to me and climbed into my lap. I giggled and held her close.
"Sorry for leaving you with all the eggs daddy! Did you get me my egg though?" She giggled. I laughed, she'd slipped again and that's what I liked. My baby, carefree and happy.
"I got you more than just an egg!" I gasped. She gasped too and looked at me excitedly. I grabbed it from under the table and showed her. She cheered loudly and wrapped her arms around my neck, planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek and then grabbed the bunny to show Phoebe. She practically launched herself off my lap and over to Phoebe. She presented the bunny and instantly began rambling about how amazing it was. She chuckled and listened to it. I watched as the way she watched Jess. She wasn't looking at the bunny but admiring the girl in front of her. Phoebe's eyes were full of so much love and compassion and care and it gave me butterflies. I watched as she leaned over, put some hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek tenderly.
"Mummmmmy," Jess whined, wiping her cheek. Phoebe and I laughed and she came back over to me. She settled on my lap, holding her bunny.
"I'll go and grab us some food. Coffee babe?" Phoebe asked me, grabbing her purse.
"I coffee too please mummy," Jess giggled.
"Hm, yeah okay baby," Phoebe laughed, rolling her eyes. I smiled and asked Phoebe for one and she left.

"Are you feeling better now bubba?" I asked Jess softly.
"Yes daddy. I sorry I runned off," she said sweetly.
"That's alright munchkin. Can you tell me how many toes the rabbit has?" She giggled and shuffled on my lap. She began to count them, pointing at them as she did.
"One, two, three, four, seven, eight," I giggled and she looked at me and tried holding up eight fingers but showed me nine. I smiled warmly. God she was adorable.
"That's nine fingers bubba but shall we count together?"
"I no got it right?"
"Not quite. You missed out five and six!"
"Oh, I no know where five and six go," she slumped.
"Count with me," I pointed at the toes and began counting them. She helped me, speaking the numbers aloud. However, as she went to say seven, I said five and she looked at me, copying me. She then pointed at the next one and went to say seven but I corrected her with six.
"So how many toes does the bunny have?"
"Six!" She shouted happily and clapped. I giggled- god she was the cutest.
"How many fingers is that?" She then held up six fingers for me and I clapped too.
"My clever monkey," I praised and kissed her cheek.

Just then, Phoebe re-emerged with coffee for myself and her and a lemonade for Jess and a ticket for the food.