Patroclus & Achilles (AU) (completed)

Chapter 8

*Achilles POV*

And somehow, life got easier. Sitting next to Patroclus here just taking in every moment we can. No more problems. No more of Patroclus' heartbreak, I know it's there of course, but it's not there right now.

I know he doesn't love me, of course, but do I love him? I can't be sure of that but I've been sure that since the moment I first met him I've felt different, better, happier. I don't know why, I can't be sure why, but I'm happy I feel like this, I'm happy I met him and even though I don't know what will happen in a future I know I want him to be in it. I wouldn't want it in any other way.

*Patroclus POV*

After that afternoon I made up my mind. I would talk to Briseis. I would never be able to completely forgive her but it couldn't end like that, we were together for so long and we know everything there is to know about each other and I couldn't let it end that way. I just couldn't.

So after Achilles and I part ways I go to her house. 

"Hey." I say when she opens her door, I don't know what to do, how to act.

"Patroclus." she says, shame passes through her eyes. "I've been  wanting to talk to you."

"I know, Achilles told me. We should talk, we weren't together for so long to just end things like did. We're better than that." I try to smile at the last part but I'm sure it isn't a smile what comes out.

"I'm sorry, would you want to come in?" I shake my head, somehow I feel that if I enter this house something bad will happen.

"Let's just sit here." I say. 

It feels so normal to be there with her, sitting in front of her house but at the same time it isn't the same, we aren't the same, we are completely different, we aren't like before.

"I know you hate cheaters... But please, I'm begging you, don't hate me..." She says, her voice breaking a bit. "I don't think I would be able to live knowing you hate me... I..."

"The thing is that you fucked somebody else and then acted like nothing happened... That's not right Briseis, you should have broken up with me before you did it, I wouldn't have felt half as bad."

"I couldn't, I love you... I know you can't believe me." We are both staring at each other and somehow it feels like we are saying more things by just looking into each other's eyes. "But  it's true, I don't think I can explain to you why I did it, I just..."

"I would rather save up the details of you fucking somebody else... Even the idea of you kissing him makes me want to throw up."

"I know, maybe that's why I didn't tell you... I know you're able to have almost any girl you want and the idea of you being with any other girl... Kills me... I... Please at least, forgive me."

"I can't forgive you, I don't hate you though. I just feel betrayed in so many ways, but I don't hate you, a part of me still loves you and... Maybe that's why I can't forgive you because you made me love you and at the end you broke a part of me... And I'll never be the same..." I feel tears on my eyes and I try to hold them back.

"I know." She starts crying, something that she doesn't do a lot,  so I put my arm around her, maybe I am mad and I feel betrayed but I had loved her for so long I can not try and comfort her. "I know you don't want me to explain but... It just happened, at a party and after that we sort of kept it going..." I swallow and decid to ask what I want to ask.

"For how long?"

"About a month or two, we ended it the day you found out." I do something between a snore and a laugh, why on earth would she end it after that? That's such a considerate thing to do! "I felt so empty when I saw you run away... and we never even talked... We just... Fucked... I don't know why but after you left I felt like my world shattered." That makes two of us.

"I don't know what to say but we aren't coming back, Briseis, put that in your head." 

"Please" She is practically begging. I am getting mad at her and that only made it worst.

"How on earth am I supposed to come back with you?" I yell, I get away from her and she is crying so much but I am so mad .

"You love me and I love you, let's move past my mistake please."

"I can't do that, Briseis. I don't even think I want to." I couldn't stop wondering if the last part is true but  I think it isfor many reasons, Achilles being, somehow, the most important one.

"And why wouldn't you?" She is recovering from the tears now, being the strong Briseis I've always known, the Briseis who wouldn't show her sadness because she thinks she's strong enough to handle it. "We're basically perfect for each other, yes, I know i screw thinks up but we were together for so long you can't just stop loving me."

"I told you I still love you, I... I just think that after that I'm not in love with you anymore.  Being in love with someone and loving them is a totally different thing and you should know that by now. We should try to be friends after all, I really love you but... You know." I say and gave her a kiss on the cheek before standing up.

"I will..." She starts saying but she stops. "Okays, let's be friends."

I walk away and when I am finally home I feel so sad, I love her, I really do and that's why I feel so shattered, so broken, I can't be the same and I know it but part of me likes Achilles so much and that gives me hope that somehow I'll still be the same.

A/N: Hey :) after like 4 months i finally updated, sorry i hope you like it :) i don't know but i'm falling more and more in love with the story

Btw, sorry if this chapter has a weird redaction. Whe I first published it, it was in a different tense than the rest of the story so I had to change it and I might have missed somethings