Counting The Stars||Taejin✔️

-3-

Hello!!!
Hope you all are well!

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Did Jin mind being gay?

Absolutely not. He had come to accept it long back.

Did he mind when people did not accept him?

No. He liked being alone anyway. It hurt him sometimes but he did not mind.

Did he mind getting beaten up just because of his sexuality?

Yes. Yes he did. He hated it. One slip of his tongue and he had gone and ruined his entire highschool year.

It's not just the physical hurt that he hated. He could handle it. It was the pain it left on his heart and mind.

Evry word of Dae Hee and his friends, were like painful slashes on his heart. But here was something worse than that.

The silence. The silence of the people who just stood around to watch him getting beaten. They never raised their voice against Dae Hee.

They just stood their watching the show.

But Jin was a fucking hypocrite. Why should he complain about others not raising their voice when he himself did not do it.

It pushed him to the edge of the abyss. He knew he was there. At the very edge. He could feel the darkness looming over him.

He knew he was at the very edge because of the occassional thoughts that grazed his mind here and then. Thought he did not want to have.

Right now as he sat on the terrace and looked at the low railings that covered he perimeter, he would be lying if he wasn't tempted.

He knew he shouldn't think like that. It scared him. It was scary to be alone. He did not want to be alone, with only his mind as his company. But he couldn't help it.

He closed his half eaten lunch and stuffed it into his bag. He tore his eyes away from railings and went back to the stairs.

"I will be strong. Just 2 more months. I will be done with this. I can do it" he muttered silently.

He hated giving pep talks to himself.

He looked around every corner before turning. He looked behind his shoulder every now and then. He passed by a couple of girls who were standing infront of the girl restroom.

They crinkled their noses in disgust when he passed by, which he dutifully ignored. He really did not want anything negative to think about right now. The previous thoughts were more than enough.

He sighed in relief as he looked at his watch, there was still 5 minutes until recess ended.

He went into the empty class room and sat in his usual seat, inwardly praying for the teacher to arrive early.

He absent-mindedly put his hand into his pocket and pulled out the bandaid case, he turned it in his fingers grazing his finger over the two letters.

Why did he leave it there?Did he forget it? was it on purpose. Or.....

Was it with purpose?

He couldn't help as dark thoughts swirled in his mind again. The bell rang and pulled Jin out of his thoughts.

He bit his lip as he expectantly looked towards the door, hoping the teacher would come soon.

He heard some noise and with a heavy heart realised it was students from the cafeteria. He hoped Dae Hee came in late at least.