A Shattered Song ✔️

Chapter Seventeen: Regrets

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Regrets

Evelyn was so used to letting herself float away that coming back to reality was a slap in the face.

No longer could she pretend that her new world wasn't true; no longer could she convince herself that Kayleigh's death was nothing but a falsehood conjured by her imagination. Before, she had allowed herself to swim among her thoughts, listless and afraid and so cold, so very cold. She was alone in a world of paper cut-outs. She was a dream-walker trapped in a dream.

Ivy had been a brief but welcome distraction. She was real, if a bit pale, and to have something real in a world of haunting beauty was a gift beyond words. But now Ivy was fading, hidden in the nest of blankets that she'd created at the head of her bed, only swift, discreet glances at Evelyn showing that she was aware at all.

And Evelyn was alone.

And nothing at all could make her lose herself again, because now she was worthless, and she didn't know what that meant. And not knowing scared her.

It terrified her.

Worthless. Yes, she was worthless.

She looked over to Ivy, who blinked back at her with those pretty almond eyes. It had been several hours since Evelyn had been brought back from the third 'test', and Ivy had yet to say a word. Of comfort, of condemnation - there was nothing.

Maybe Ivy, too, had finally realized.

Worthless.

"I meant to save you."

The words are hushed, so quiet that Evelyn can barely hear them, and when she realizes the source, her eyes widen. "I wanted to save you." Ivy continued, stronger now. "But I didn't. I failed. I was so certain that I would succeed, and that was foolish of me. I spent too long away from this world, and now we are paying the price."

"It's not your fault." Evelyn muttered.

Ivy only shook her head. "Oh, Evie. Evelyn. Evelyn Anderson. Such ignorance is a joy to view in a place like this."

Evelyn only watched in evident confusion.

"Never mind." Ivy smiled sadly. "Oh - I do believe we have a little spy."

Evelyn glanced up in alarm. "What?"

"Sweet Songbird, do come in."

A hesitation. Then the door opened, and Melody came in, seeming to dance even in her obvious reluctance. "How did you know?"

"Your glamours are admirable, but clumsy. Any accomplished Fae would see through them."

"That's not true. Briar taught them to me - only a Court fae could."

Ivy smoothly deflected that. "Well, I am not Court, so quite clearly she was misinformed - yes?"

"Were you ever Court?"

"That isn't the reason you're here." Ivy said easily. "Stop stalling, Songbird, dear."

"Don't call me that." Melody said abruptly. "That's what she calls me. And I no longer - I can't -"

"I understand." Ivy's voice exuded warmth. "Do sit."

Melody shook her head, quickly and sharply, almost bird-like in her motions. "No. I just wanted to tell Evie - I mean, Evelyn - that I wouldn't have done that. To her friend, I mean. If I knew."

"Oh? But you have no regrets, since you didn't?" Evelyn snapped.

"No!" Melody cried. " I do. We shouldn't have killed her. We could have kept her."

"Like you kept me?" Evelyn's voice dripped with contempt.

"I'm - I'm sorry about that, too. But we were saving faeries. Or at least, we were trying."

"But I'm worthless now, Songbird." Evelyn spat. "Or didn't you know? They don't need me anymore. My life is probably already forfeit."

Melody's wince gave truth to those words, and Evelyn felt something heavy settle in her stomach.

On the contrary, Ivy looked elated. "Melody. If her life is forfeit, she's not helping any more faeries - yes? So if she left - if she somehow got out - it wouldn't make any difference."

Evelyn glanced over at Ivy cautiously as Melody hesitated, then said, softly, "Yes..."

"So you could help her out again, correct?"

Melody's eyes met Ivy's, seeming to probe her face for alternative motives. And then Melody danced forward to sit on the bed.