The Earth Begins to Sway || Falsettos

Adoption

(author's note: fun fact I got the cover text from "What More Can I Say" on Genius Lyrics) 

I walk to the kitchen Sunday morning to find Mom and Mendel sitting at the table. Great. More interaction. 

"Oh, hey, Jason!" Mendel greets me. "Good, you're up." 

"I don't feel like eating," I say. I especially don't feel like eating breakfast with my family. 

Mom gives me a worried look. "You never feel like eating. Look, Jason, it's just for your health. You can't keep skipping meals like this." 

I want to bring up her depressive state from two years ago in comparison, but I keep my fucking mouth shut and turn to leave. "I'll eat later." 

I can hear Mom sigh. 

-

A knock comes on my door. "Come in!" I exclaim, cheerfully. 

"Jason?" Mendel comes in. "You seem to be doing better than earlier." 

I'm not sure if he's referring to earlier today or just earlier in general. But either way, it's true, so I nod. 

"How was yesterday? Sorry neither of us were home for most of it." 

"Oh, no, it's okay. Perfectly fine. I just... don't really have much to do right now." I don't mention my crush on Rose. I can't justify it, even if I see her as a friend. Of course, I would never want to date a real family member. Which is why I don't want Rose to be my family member. Ugh. If Whizzer were here, you know I'd be talking to him about this right now. 

"Oh, okay, that's good, at least. Yeah, I've gotten pretty bored too. But you have school tomorrow." He gives me a look that I can't distinguish between stern and sad. "Maybe you could get up a little earlier." 

"Sure, why not get four hours of sleep instead of five? That sounds splendid." 

Mendel sighs. "I also wanted to talk about earlier this week. I'm sorry for being kind of invasive in trying to help." 

"Nothing's wrong with that," I shrug. 

Instead of leaving, he sits next to me on my bed. "Look, I get why you've been distancing yourself, but I'd like it if you opened up, Jason. You know you can trust me. And your mother." 

"I know." 

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" 

I don't mention what's been on my mind. He doesn't need to, much less should he know about my feelings for Rose. And, well, as for other thoughts of mine... they'll blow over. They're not worth mentioning to my stepfather. 

"I'd say things are getting better." This isn't quite true. There are better areas, but many others are worse. Getting worse by the day. 

"Well, you can't be forced to spill anything." He smiles appreciatively before getting up. "See you later, Jason," he adds as he leaves. 

"See ya, Mendel." 

"Oh, and I'd like you to eat something!" 

I groan and close the door. 

Cordelia

(author's note: I thought I wouldn't include another POV but here it is) 

"Charlotte?" I whisper late one night in February. I don't know if she's awake or can hear me. 

"Yeah?" 

I almost have a heart attack. "Jesus Christ, warn me next time." 

"Warn you about what?" 

"Never mind," I sigh. "I wanted to talk about Rose. Do you, like, see her as our daughter?" 

"Of course I do! We're not her official parents, but it's been more than a year, and I've gotten to know her. Why? Do you?" asks Charlotte. 

"I... yes, I do. And yeah, I know nothing's official. But that doesn't mean anything! We're not officially married... or married at all, for that matter... but it wouldn't make a difference if we were." 

She rolls over to face me. "Sometimes I kind of wish I could marry you, though." 

"Yeah, I know." I let out my breath. "I'm sure it'll happen eventually. ...Hey, Char?" 

"Hmm? What?" 

"Do you ever miss Whizzer and Marvin?" 

That's it. The woman's had it. She sits up in our bed. "Honey, why the fuck are you asking me so many obvious questions?! It's like I don't have feelings or something." 

"No, Charlotte, that's not how I meant that..." I trail off. 

"Well, yes. Yes. Of course I miss them. And it kills me every day that I couldn't do anything about it. As a doctor. Course, not as much as it killed them, but..." 

I'm a little mad at her, for no reason. "Do you think you're funny?" 

She sighs. "Joking helps ease the pain." 

"I know, sweetie. It does." 

"Not that it'll ever really go away. Jeez, you're kind of lucky. The expectation wasn't on you to save people's lives." 

"No, but I still feel guilt. My food at the bar mitzvah was the last thing Whizzer ate before he died. What do you think—?" 

She puts her head in her hand. "Cordelia..." 

"Never mind." I turn back over. "I'm going to sleep." 

"Look, I think everyone's felt a bit of guilt about it," my girlfriend assures me. "I don't know about Mendel, actually. But Trina, totally—"

"I think we should start looking into adopting her," I blurt out. 

"Trina?" 

"No. That's on me, sorry. I meant Rose." 

I don't see Charlotte, but she seems uncomfortable. "...Would they let us?" 

"I don't know," I answer simply. "Guess we'll have to see?" 

I'm guessing she's smiling. "Yeah. We will. Okay, good night, anyway. Love you." 

"I love you, too." 

As crazy as it sounds, I actually really hope this can happen.