The Earth Begins to Sway || Falsettos

Jason and Trina Kill Ants

(author's note: this chapter is gonna be a little more light-hearted compared to the next few, so enjoy ig)

Not much happens over spring break. I don't see Rose much, which I kind of like. Makes her seem more like a friend from school than potential god-sister. Is that a word? Whatever. 

But without seeing her, I feel kind of helpless. My only friend, the only light in my life. Hmm. Maybe I've just confused this for a crush because of how strongly I feel for the fact that she helps me feel alive. Maybe. But maybe not. After all, I never considered wanting to date my insomnia treatment. 

Yeah, I think it's a long shot. Rose is definitely different to me. 

Somewhere in the week, the two of us are playing chess (but without either of the kings—it's complicated), and I'm just thinking that before she becomes family, I should get this whole crush thing off my chest. 

But I just can't. Is it stupid, is it selfish that I want us to have a chance? 

"Why are we playing this without the king?" Rose asks, interrupting my thoughts. 

"I'll take you for a walk later and you can see," I reply simply. I'm a little embarrassed that chess was such a big connection between me and my dads. 

"Th-that makes no sense," she laughs, looking at the board. 

"It will!" I protest. "Okay, move a pawn." 

"Not the king, obviously." 

"Rose. That's enough. Move a pawn." 

God, even persistently teasing and annoying, she's perfect. I try to convince myself that this is just... friendship. I haven't exactly had friends. My age, at least. So maybe that's what it's been all this time. But then again, I've had crushes. And they're pretty damn similar. 

"Hey, so, Jason?" 

I look up. "Yeah?" 

"I've heard about your trouble with sleeping. Are you all right? Like, are you tired?" Rose inquires innocently. Sweet, I guess, but move the fucking pawn. 

"Yes. Thank you for asking. I am tired." 

"Aw. Are you, like, managing?" 

No, which she knows. I just shake my head, then add, "We always talk about me. I wanna check in on you, too. Like do you even like chess or do you just play it with me?" 

She flushes. "Well, I know how interested you are in chess. Don't get the wrong idea, I do like it. Oh, also, it's kind of a goal of mine to read 1984 before the year is over." 

"Sounds cool," I put in, ignoring her probable lie about chess. "What about..." I drum my fingers on the table. "Do you have a crush on anyone?" Damn, Jason. We're in high school. Of course she'll have liked someone. 

"Um... no," she admits. "I never have, really..." 

Hmm. Well, I guess everyone's different. But it just seems a little suspicious that she answered like that. My guess is she likes someone she's not wanting to tell me about. Like myself. That could be exciting. But I just don't feel ready to ask about it. 

"Cool, cool," I say, eventually moving a pawn for her out of impatience. 

"Jeez, Jason. I was going to move it. And how do we even play without kings, anyway?" 

I stare at the board. Good point. "That pawn I moved? That can be the new king." 

"That's not fair! You moved it, so it's in your favour!" 

I grin, realizing what I've done. "Damn right." 

Rose glares at me, but playfully. "We're starting over." 

-

"Oh, Jason, hi!" Mom greets me as I open the door. "You're home." 

"Yeah..." It was my first day back at school. Not that you needed to know that, just providing a little bit of context. 

"Could you go through your room? I'm doing some spring cleaning, but I wanted to let you deal with your personal things." 

I sigh. "Mom, I just got home." 

"Jason, please?" 

"Fine, I guess. Maybe it'll be fun." So I trudge to my room and start with the closet. There are heaps of stuff there that I haven't seen in years. 

The first thing I find is a medium-small box. Like the kind you bring food back from a restaurant in. It's a little weird, but I open it. Hundreds of live ants spill out, crawling frantically. It's one of the worst things I've seen in my entire life. 

"MOM!" I call, not caring how loud I'm being. My mother rushes in. 

"What is it?!" she cries. "OH MY GOD!" 

"Mom, what kills ants?!" 

"Dish soap and water," she says immediately. "I've been in this situation before." 

"THEN GET IT!" I shriek, my voice cracking, as some of them get on my hands. 

We do the best we can with a spray bottle—apparently the soap will suffocate them to death. Good, they deserve to. Well, not really, but surprising me in my room wasn't very nice. Plus, Mom said we should still hire an exterminator in case some of them got away. I do not blame her. That was the most ants I'd ever seen at once. 

"Jason..." she sighs when it's all over. "What on earth was a box of food doing in your room?" 

"I guess I just stored it in there and forgot about it? I don't remember." 

"But why not just put it in the fridge?" 

I don't have a good answer for this, so I surrender. I need to go back to sorting through my belongings, anyway. "Thanks for helping with the ants, Mom." 

"No problem," she says tersely, leaving me to finish. I can tell this was no more pleasant for her than it was for me. 

So I return. The next thing is a bigger box, like those brown cardboard ones, with simply my name in black writing. I first peek in to make sure there aren't any ants, but it looks like it's just clothing. I start removing things. 

Oh. This isn't all clothing. It's some of the general stuff of my dad's that I kept. Suddenly I'm sad again. See, this is what I was talking about. I'm reminded that life will never be the same ever again. 

That's fine, of course. I'm used to this. It's just these specific items... look at this, I think, pulling out one of his ties. In what world would I need a tie like this? I really only kept it because it was Dad's. 

I sit, holding the tie close for a few moments, then decide to hang it up in my closet—just in case I ever end up wearing it. And even if I don't. I just know that it'll always be there.