Delicate Pulse | Violentine

Reminiscence

"Hi Violet, how are you?"

Carley calls out to me from her desk. She's surrounded by paper, as always.

I close the office door after me. "Good, yourself?"

"Good? I never thought I'd hear the day you'd say that," she teases.

"Me too," I muse. I never thought I would either.

"So, your mom called," she starts, slowly.

"Christ," I mutter aside. Here we fucking go.

"She requested that we order you a new blouse," she continues.

I stare at her.

She adds on. "A size medium."

My mouth feels itchy and dry. Carley looks at me, sympathetically. "You can say it, Violet, we're the only ones here."

I erupt but quiet enough so Ericson's arrogant ass couldn't hear me from next door. "What so she thinks a fucking boarding school is going to fix this? She did this to me. She and dad did this to me."

Her face falls into a frown. I hate pity, especially if it's for me. Even if it is the correct response.

Many lunches and dinners in my childhood were forgotten about. Mom would work late shifts and dad would always be passed out on the couch. They always forgot to pack me lunch. I had to scrape whatever I could get my hands on. When my clothes became too big, mom accused me of starving myself.

"You're old enough to make your own meals," my mom groaned. "I have three other jobs to worry about honey, you need to start being more responsible."

Then she sent me to my grandparents so they could 'monitor' me. The real reason was that my parents couldn't parent. I think mom thought sending me there would fix the problem but by then it was already too late to reverse what had been done. I was skin and bones. I was nothing. It's been hard to gain weight ever since.

Carley speaks softly. "I haven't ordered it, I wanted to check in with you first."

"The answer is no. Don't order it. Fucking hell."

"I really should be telling you off for swearing but I don't think you'd be Violet without dropping the f-bomb in every second sentence you say."

I don't say anything.

"She asked how you are," she reveals. "I said you're doing very well."

I scoff, folding my arms. "You should have said I'm snorting lines of cocaine and sniffing glue off the classroom floors."

Carley laughs, shaking her head. "Then she would have requested you go back onto your medication again," she points out. Her dark hair swishes against her neck, then it stops. "Do you have any idea who stole them last time?"

"Nope," I lied. I did know. They weren't stolen either. They were given. I gave them away. I couldn't admit that, not even to Carley. She would be so disappointed. Disappointing Carley is just cruel.

"If you ever need them again, you know where to find me," she smiles.

"You'll have to find me first," I banter, making my escape.

"Look after yourself, Violet."

I hurry out of the office and almost drive straight into Marlon. I jump a little, stepping back.

"Hey, Vi," he greets, leaning against the wall. Why the fuck would you stand right outside the fucking office door?

"Hey," I answer.