Unscripted love

42. GQ, The Man of My Heart

February 2019

Demet

The shooting days are always more demanding. I'm tired. Very tired. I've no time to work out, no time to see my friends, family and barely any time to experience my love with Can.

But today I'm going to celebrate him, he's participating in GQ Men and has been nominated. I know he will win. He deserves it, he's the best, the most beautiful, the man I love.

As agreed, we're going to the ceremony separately but I'm looking forward to meeting Guldem again. We have rehearsed and are ready to face the crowd of onlookers and worse...the journalists and paparazzi interested in the sensational. The latter are only waiting for one thing, that we finally announce our romance in broad daylight. In a way, why not? But that would be to misunderstand the Turkish press and its ability to transform reality and make us detestable. I don't want a pseudo-false private life to be displayed in the newspapers. I'm not necessarily the most loved actress in Turkey and reputations are made and broken by the scoopers. But Can...Can is the victim of a real omerta. The false image of him does him a disservice and he's not as popular as he should be in his own country.

This being an unofficial release for me, I wear what I want and I like to mate with Can. I know that by appearing at this event we will inevitably be photographed together.

A pair of sexy wide-legged white trousers and a fitted black jacket with a big buckle belt that matches the big gold buttons. My straight hair waving in a wave around my face with most of the make-up on my long curled lashes. I love this style.

In the hall of the event venue, I pass a few acquaintances, wave from afar and promise to answer a few questions from impatient journalists.

When a few meters further on I perceive more pronounced movements I suspect that the crowd is linked to the one who occupies all my thoughts. I approach and catch him in the middle of a style exercise. He's talented and incredibly sexy in his costume. It's far from the outfit he's most comfortable in but the effect is there.

He must sense my presence because he turns and gives me a huge smile, hugging me as I respond to his embrace. We kiss, fully aware that we're being watched. I'd like to give free rein to my urges and greedily trap his lips, but this is really not the time. I content myself with a warm smile and tender gestures. A few words exchanged, a few photos with the journalists and we're directed to the auditorium where the ceremony will take place. Can made it clear that I was accompanying him to the event and we were seated next to each other. I know it's going to be a big deal but I don't care. After all we are partners in the show, friends in life in the eyes of everyone so I don't see what the problem is.

I can feel that Can is anxious, happy and uncomfortable at the same time. It was impossible for him not to have me there, but he also finds it very difficult to bear the distance we impose on each other at events like this.

"You look great, Dem..."

"You don't look bad yourself..."

I try to smile at him in a restrained way but I can hardly control myself, can hardly hide my happiness for him, with him. I'm so proud. I have never met such a talented, generous and accomplished man in my life. Our eyes meet, search for each other, run away from each other during the whole waiting time...

Then the presenter starts the speech for the long awaited title...

I feel like everything is in slow motion and yet...

Everything speeds up when his name is called. His hand lands on my left knee and pats it for a moment before he stands up, victorious. With a confident gait, he joins the stage to a thunderous applause. I can't let go of my smile and as his speech rings in my ears, as he says my name and a whole bunch of other words so sweet, so full of esteem and pride I feel my throat tighten.