Encore

22. Realisation

They walked along the Avenue of Stars. A flood of small specks of light shone softly before them.

The twinkling stars hung in the clear night sky above them. The lights illuminated the skyline, seemingly stretching for miles with no end in sight.

With his love for photography, Jaebeom would have immediately taken out his portable camera.

However, all he could focus on was Jackson.

His senses were filled with him.

The sound of Jackson's footsteps amidst the waves gently hitting against the dock.

The smell of vanilla from Jackson.

The sight of Jackson against the colours of the skyline.

His thoughts were interrupted when Jackson sat on one of the benches. Jackson turned to him with that gorgeous smile of his, patting on the empty spot beside him.

They sat on the bench, looking at the skyline. The water rippled before them, reflecting the city and moonlight.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Turning around, Jaebeom was about to reply when the words were caught in his throat.

The lights cast a soft glow on Jackson's face. A soft sigh escaped his lips. Leaning back, Jackson's eyes fluttered close.

Jaebeom captures it all. Frames it with his eyes.

Jaebeom's POV

I could see the faint eye bags. The tiredness behind the peaceful smile.

I knew I like Jackson. But I also knew that it wasn't love at first sight. Sure, his puppy personality caught my eye. Nonetheless, it was nothing more than affection. Like the affection I have for Jinyoung etc.

Maybe I was scared of losing someone I love again. My mind pushing out the thought of loving Jackson like a lover, choosing to only love him as a friend.

Still, I wanted to stay by his side. That was why I told the elderly lady that I won't let go of Jackson. If I couldn't take the step and be Jackson's lover, I wanted to at least be a friend.

But things change.

As time gradually passed, I saw the different sides of Jackson.

Warm.
Kind.
Caring.
Putting on a strong front despite being tired.
Breaking down when he thought no one was looking.
Strong. Yet vulnerable.

Subconsciously, Jackson had broken down the walls that I had erected around himself. Feelings seeped in slowly. It wasn't overnight. It was more of a gradual process. A slow build-up. An accumulation of feelings for Jackson. The feelings making room for Jackson in my heart.

And when Jackson was the only face I could ever find in the crowd at the pop-up store, I probably knew deep down how in love I was with Jackson.

And if I'm being honest? I don't think you realize you love someone until you do. I think that is what makes it beautiful.

There is no loud screeching halt inside of your heart, no neon sign that suddenly lights up and lets you know that you have found your favourite thing. No. I don't think it works like that.

I think it's quieter, calmer. One day you're just sitting across from someone, and you're watching them tell some story you've heard twenty times, and everything inside of you feels safe. Everything is serene, and peaceful, and you almost laugh to yourself, because in the midst of all that chaos, you realize how deeply you care about them. In the midst of the crowd, or the background noise, or the chatter of other people in the restaurant, time slows down for a moment and there it is. There it is.