The Red Bull Party Girl |ON HOLD|

40. Back home

A little notice: this chapter contains a little content at the end that may be upsetting to some people ⚠️

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As I unlocked the front door to my little cottage in Anmer I was grateful that I hadn't yet had the time to put it up for sale. In fact I'd not had time to do anything with the place and it was exactly as I'd left it from when I'd last been here with Seb after the Bastiano debacle. It smelt a little musty although it looked clean enough thanks to mum popping in every so often to clean, I'd have to open a few windows and let some air in. My heart sunk. Seb - the last time I'd been here we'd been so happy, we'd been getting our heads around our unexpected baby news and was starting to plan our future. Now I was back here alone with the very real possibility of facing being pregnant and being a single mum without Seb by my side. Also I was probably going to have to go through the whole process of getting Dakota shipped back over here when he'd only just arrived in Switzerland and was starting to settle in. I hadn't told my parents I was back and I hadn't even begun to tell them that they now had another grandchild on the way.

Realising that my case was too heavy for me to safely carry it up the stairs, I laid it down on the floor right where I stood and decided to start unpacking, carrying armful after armful of clobber up to my room. Then I realised that most of it would need washing and so I'd have to bring it all down again. In a fit of hormone driven temper, I threw my current load of clothes down the stairs with angry scream and then burst into tears. So much had changed! Not so long ago everything felt normal. I was happy, Seb was happy.....Jules was happy. Then the unthinkable had happened and Formula One suddenly felt like a different place. Everyone was grieving as though Jules was dead, including me. Then I lost Seb and my life suddenly felt very different too. Emotionally I was all over the place. Heartbroken over Seb's ruthless treatment of me; in shock, heartbroken and scared for Jules and his family and friends and then guilty that I was wallowing in my own misery when Jules was on life support with no one knowing when or if he was ever going to wake up. I sat down on the stairs and sobbed until I felt exhausted and then made my way to the sofa where I curled up in a ball and didn't move until the next morning.

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"Harper?"

There was a banging sound.

"Harper? Is that you in there?"

More banging. Then the noise of someone trying to get in.

"Harper I can't open this bloody door!"

I opened my eyes, they felt sore and heavy and my back felt stiff from sleeping on the sofa. Was someone at the door or was I just dreaming?

"Harper! I can't get in!"

Hearing my mum's voice beginning to reach screeching level, I sat myself up and got to my feet. My eyes landed on where I'd left my case in front of the door and close by were my scattered clothes where they'd landed after I'd thrown them down the stairs in temper.

"Harper! You're seriously worrying me now! Do I need to call the emergency services?"

I bent over to move my case enough so that mum could get in and then legged it up the stairs, I wasn't ready to face her just yet. I'd really come here to be alone right now, I didn't want to see anyone.

When I managed to drag my sorry ass back down twenty minutes later she already had a load of washing on the go in the machine and was merrily rifling through my case, sorting more clothes into different piles of different colours. Then she saw me.

"Oh my god! You look awful!" She exclaimed, rushing over to me and stroking my face as she examined me.

I crumbled, threw myself into her arms and clung to her, turning into a sobbing wreck once more. "Oh mum!"