The Red Bull Party Girl |ON HOLD|

38. Double shock

"How are you feeling now?"

I wanted to roll my eyes, I'd lost count of how many times Seb had asked me this since we'd been back in his private room. I couldn't bring myself to tell him to shut up though, I'd rather have him like this than not have him at all. Sitting on his lap, I nestled into him as close as I could get, I buried my face shamefully into the crook of his neck; poor Jules' family were going through hell right now, the guy was fighting for his life in a hospital bed thousands of miles away from home and I'd been sat on the floor in the garage having a doctor fussing over me when all I'd had was another panic attack. I felt awful, not only because I'd brought a lot of attention upon myself at such a difficult time but also because I'd dragged Seb away from his post race, podium finishers press conference. He'd got a lot on his mind with a fellow driver in hospital with a head injury and I'd got myself into such a state that I'd ended up having a panic attack and subsequently made him run late for the rest of the evening. I'd got him and Britta both in here worrying about me, I felt like a total fraud.

"Harper?" Seb reached a hand up to place his palm under my chin in an effort to make me look at him. "If you're not feeling well then you need to tell me, we'll be getting on a plane to Sochi tonight and if you need to be checked over again....."

"I'm fine." I answered, cutting him off and looking everywhere except at him.

"At least look at me so I know you mean it." He said softly, not satisfied with my answer.

Sensing Britta looking at me too, I lifted my gaze to meet his and he gave me a small smile as I nodded my head to back up my answer. He seemed happy with this and looked relieved, turning his head to share a look with Britta who pointedly looked at her watch.

"You go, I've kept you for long enough." I took the hint that Britta really wanted to get him to at least have some time speaking to the media. "I've made you miss the podium finishers press conference, I've taken up far too much of your time and made you run late for the media pen and probably your post race debrief as well. You've got enough to deal without me adding to it."

"Harper, stop talking bollocks." He replied firmly, making me look at him with surprise and worry. "You're my girlfriend and you're having my baby, you're far more important than any press conference or debrief and I don't want you worrying about how much of my time you're taking. Making sure you're ok is my priority right now and I'm not leaving you until I'm sure."

"It was only a panic attack, I feel like such an idiot." I confessed miserably.

"You were struggling to breathe, your oxygen levels were dropping. Don't play it down, I know how serious and frightening these things are for you."

"Seb, if we're going to make the media pen....." Britta started only to be stopped by him giving her such a dark look that if looks could kill, she'd have dropped down dead.

"You should go, I'm fine now as you can see. Go and do the media pen now and then you might just make your debrief in time." I plastered on a smile to try and convince him.

"Are you sure you're ok for me to leave you?" He asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I'll prob head over to hospitality and see if I can find Emma." I glanced at Britta who gave me a grateful look back.

"I'll come and find you as soon as I'm free." He kissed my cheek and then stroked under my chin before gently turning my head to face him again so that he could plant a sweet, comforting kiss on my lips. "I love you." He said as he let out a breath of relief that again made me feel bad for worrying him so much.

"I love you too." I placed my palm on his cheek, needing that final little touch before I forced myself to get up from his lap so that he could get on with his post race obligations. "We'll talk later, yeah?"