The Red Bull Party Girl |ON HOLD|

18. Silverstone.

With Whitney singing I Have Nothing through the speakers of my Evoque, I pulled away from the hotel I was staying in at Milton Keynes for the next few nights. I'd somehow ended up with the job of giving Seb a lift and I was in for what would probably be a very awkward journey. The sat nav directed me to the smart apartment block that Red Bull owned and I pulled up outside and waited for Seb to come out. Why he hadn't travelled with Britta and Antti I had no idea. Within a couple of minutes he emerged from the building, with his ruck sack in one hand and base ball cap in the other, his sunglasses perched on his head. He opened the back door and threw his ruck sack on the back seat, closing it and then got in next to me.
"Morning." He gave me a small smile.
"Morning Seb." I said as Whitney began to sing again as I had a CD track on repeat. I allowed myself a glance at him and gave him a small smile back. Those damn butterflies started again, along with the heartache. Maybe I should change the track.
"How are you keeping?" He asked as I set the sat nav to take us the twenty miles to Silverstone.
"I'm fine." It was my default response to anyone asking me that at the moment. I hit the navigate button on the screen and pulled away from the kerb. A twenty mile journey, I could do this, it'd only be about half an hour and then it would be over. "You?" I asked back to be polite. He seemed quiet for a moment, thinking of his reply.
"I'd be lying if I said I was fine." He replied. Damn, what do I say back to that? Blaming Whitney, I quickly pressed a button and flicked through looking for something upbeat. "Hey, I liked that one. Can I find a track?" He asked.
"Sure." I said, wondering what we'd end up listening to. He was, unknowingly, going through my break up play list. Annie Lennox's Why seemed to be his choice, god he must be feeling worse than me. "So, what's up?" I asked.
"I think you know." He replied. I didn't want another argument, not behind the wheel anyway so I decided against mentioning his ex.
"You've got your head around the baby now though right?" I asked.
"I guess so, it's just you I can't seem to get over." He said. I quickly got rid of Annie Lennox and tried to stop my lips from curling into a smile as The Pussy Cat Dolls' Don't Cha replaced it in an almost ironic way. Feeling bitchy I hit repeat. Even Seb seemed to smile at the irony of it, it seemed to break the ice a little between us.
"It's not been easy for me either Seb." I said. "But that's how things are now and we have to deal with it and move on. By the time we hit the winter break you'll be a dad, thats got to be something to look forward to, right?"
"I guess I am looking forward to it, I just wish it was you and not her." He said looking out of the window.
"Me? Pregnant?" I almost laughed, that was not on my radar.
"Yes, you." He looked at me. "Then we'd be together." His answer hit home and I turned the volume up in the hope of keeping him quiet. He seemed to have got fed up with The Pussy Cat dolls and flicked through my CD again, finding Bon Jovi. "What kind of CD is this? They're all a bit depressing." He decided to open my glove compartment and rummage through what was in there. I cringed as he found the empty CD case with 'break up songs' written on it. "That explains it." He looked at me, before ejecting the CD and replacing it with another he'd found. I screamed internally when I realised he'd found my Outhere Brothers CD that I'd had for years and the explicit lyrics of Don't Stop filled our ears. He grinned at me, enjoying seeing me look uncomfortable. He must have liked the track though as he wouldn't let me turn it off and it played on repeat for the remainder of our journey. It was a bit embarrassing entering the gates at Silverstone to show our passes to security with lyrics such as 'put your ass on my face, I love the way your pussy tastes.' coming out of the car window but it seemed to have put a smile back on Seb's face. I parked the car, and with an audience he decided it'd be funny to turn it up a bit louder and open his window, I felt my face heat up as I blushed and hoped people would think it was his choice in music and not mine.
"Can I turn it off now?" I looked at him, as much as he'd upset me over the last few weeks I was glad to see him smiling.
"Can I have a lift back tonight?" He asked.
"Why aren't you using your car?" I asked, wondering where his Infiniti was.
"MOT. I should have it tomorrow, I could return the favour and give you a lift then if you like." He looked quite hopeful and I knew he was fishing for chances to spend time with me.
"I'll be fine driving myself, but thanks anyway." I turned the music off and got out of the car. He got out too, putting his base ball cap on and his sunglasses and then got his ruck sack from the back seat of the car. "You'll have to let me know later when you're ready to leave, I'll wait for you." I said.
"Thanks." He smiled and we walked in together. In the end I'd been glad of the journey in, if we could keep things friendly it'd be good for both of us.