The Unsaid

Chapter 12- Bitter Sweet

6 Months Later

The priest called out, “Any one who can sing the Mangala harathi?”

Pallavi and Jaya sat amongst the group in the temple

“Go Pallavi!” Jaya nugged. Pallavi walked up to the deity and started singing with four other ladies. Ones they were done, the priest gave the mike to Pallavi.

“You have to sing another song Pallavi. I have missed hearing your sweet voice!”

Again Pallavi glanced at her mother in law who smiled at her encouragingly. She cleared her throat and sang one of the few songs that she knew.  Once completed, she opened her eyes and found everyone’s eyes on her, as it had been ever since she had started singing in the temple.

“Beautiful Amma Pallavi! You are a blessing to Rao gari family.” He then placed his hand on her head and blessed her. “Shigrameva suputra prapthirasthu.” (May you have a baby boy soon.)

She immediately raised her eyes. “But— I want a girl too. One boy and one girl.”

The priest laughed. “Okay.” He placed his hand on her head and reblessed her with “Sheegrameva santhaana prapthirasthu.” (May you have a baby soon)

She touched the priest’s feet and joined her mother-in-law. “Atthaiah, it’s time for me to get Ammu and Rohit from school.”

“Okay, you go ahead. I will come after the rest of the ceremonies are over.” Jaya’s devoted eyes remained at the adorned figure of Lord Venkateswara. Pallavi came out of the temple, wore her sandals left outside and started the half-mile walk to the school.

To the right of the road were the long stretches of fields, were Prithvi must be working. The chilly air blew her Sari pallu and she reveled in the freshness around her. January was pleasant and cool with greenery everywhere and for once she did not mind not having the car to drive her. There was only one car for the entire family and Seenu, bless his soul, would drive anyone, anywhere when asked, leaving everything aside. He dropped Prithvi at his farm, Madhu, Amar and their kids to the school and his father in law to his errands. Sometimes, if the car were free, he would offer to get the kids home. But normally, her father-in-law would be out of the house with the car, citing one work or the other. During the hotter autumn days, she had been angered on many occasions for having to walk in the heat. But she had taken this responsibility on her shoulders voluntarily. Noone asked her to pick up the kids from school. When Madhu akka couldn’t stay back for extra classes at school, it was Pallavi who suggested that she would get the kids home as she was also bored and would get some time outside too.

Her thoughts went back to the priest’s appreciative comments. She loved singing at the temple, for that was the only place were she was looked up to and appreciated by adults. All the dialogues in movies about the girl child being separated after marriage didn’t mean much to her earlier other than some heavy sentiment. But after marriage, after living through what it was like and how difficult it was to adjust and compromise amongst new people, she realized that you really couldn’t depict that feeling in words. Accepting new people and abandoning what you thought as your own isn’t always natural, even if people around her created a system and a rule that she should automatically integrate into the new atmosphere. The feeling of belonging often takes time, positive intention and effort. After six months, perhaps, she was finally feeling at peace with this town and the people in it.  But when it came to Prithvi’s family, now supposedly her family, she still struggled with accepting all of them wholeheartedly. And to be fair, it must be the same from their end too. If things seemed to be well, it was only with Prithvi, for the most part atleast.

The school was a yellow one storied building with twenty rooms, sitting in a large open space. The bell rang and the kids ran out with excitement. A nostalgic feeling engulfed Pallavi everytime she saw this school for it looked very similar to the school that she went to and reminded her of her golden days. She had been the puppet of many teachers, despite being an average student. She sighed, trying to get rid of the sinking thoughts within her. She could atleast have been a teacher at such a school. Madhu akka was a teacher; Amar bava was a teacher. And they seemed to love their job. But was that what she had truly wanted to become. Did she really want to teach match and science and languages? She dug her brain again.