The Unsaid

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

His agitated mind wouldn't let him sleep in the silence of the night. He could hear Pallavi's shallow breathing. She was still awake. He sighed silently and glanced at the clock on the side table. It said that it was past 3 in the morning. Though aware of him mistake in choosing his words last night, though aware that his actions must have caused terrible pain to her, he couldn't make himself speak to her so far. Yesterday's events had been playing in his mind continuously, and with each passing second, his guilt grew and anger reduced. He could feel her pain. Yes. But what about his pain that he had buried deep within himself. What about his suffering that he ensured that no one knew about all these years? He gulped and glanced at Pallavi, lying on the floor with her face turned away from him. Will that suffering become worse, now that Pallavi was dragged into this mess? He gulped, then pressed his teeth tight and cursed himself. What the hell are you doing Prithvi? All the decisions that you made in your life... did you make them to become weak and rue about for the rest of your life? No. You made your decision. Now stick to it and apologize to her.

He took a deep breath, climbed out of the bed and kneeled beside Pallavi. Gently, he nugged her arm. Her brow knitted, but her eyes remained closed.

"Pallavi," he whispered and nugged her again. She opened her eyes and even under the dim lighting, he could sense the accusation and the pain within them. Slowly, she sat upright and waited for him to speak. He remained silent for a few seconds, and then cleared his throat.

"I can explain... Pallavi," he halted, hating how weak he sounded.

She looked the other way and took a deep breath.

"You see... I met Nisha when I was," he halted seeing her brow knitting painfully on the mention of Nisha.

She stood up ubruptly and held her forehead with her palm. Removing her hand, she turned towards him and said flatly,

"You met Nisha while studying abroad. You both fell in love but couldn't marry for whatever reason. She moved on and married someone. And-" she halted and stared into his eyes.

Prithvi stood dumbfounded, unable to utter any words. He did not like the way his life story, or rather his love story sounded. But then, he couldn't dispute anything either.

"Isn't that what happened?" she asked, folding her hands.

He nodded.

She stood glaring at him for a few minutes. "So, if you-if you... were so much..." her voice quivered as she halted. "If you couldn't let go, then why did you marry me? Why did you cheat me into believing that you wanted to be in this marriage?"

"I did want to be in this marriage!" Prithvi shot back.

"Then you wouldn't have..."

"Look Pallavi, Nisha showed up suddenly and I just..."

Hearing Nisha's name, Pallavi closed her eyes and her ears tight using both her hands.

Feeling helpless, Prithvi sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head.

Minutes passed by in silence.

"What am I to you?" he heard her whisper. He turned and saw her looking out of the window, deep in thought.

Prithvi walked upto her. Holding her arms, he turned her around. Thankfully, she did not shrug him off.

"Don't talk like that Pallavi, please. It will never happen again. I Promise. Everything will be back to normal. Trust me."