Royal Dilemma

Chapter Six

(Charli's Point of View)

What the hell is wrong with me?

I finish ringing up someone's bill and I bring them their change, trying to take my mind off of last night.

When I saw CJ again I knew I should turn in the other direction and avoid him. I don't do repeats after all. But I couldn't stop myself from going up to him, from flirting with him. I'm not sure if it's his impossibly good looks or the trustworthy vibes he gives off, but either way, I'm drawn to him.

I told him about my father. What is going on with me? I never talk about my family, ever. Even Piper only knows the bare basics about my childhood and I just offer up personal information to a stranger? What the hell is that about?

I redo my ponytail and check the time. Only another thirty minutes and I can go home. Actually, probably longer than that since Piper is picking me up. I'll be lucky if she's only five minutes late.

After work, I lean against the building while I wait for Piper. Fifteen. Piper is fifteen minutes late. After a few more minutes of standing in the warm, muggy parking lot, Piper pulls into the parking lot and I sigh in relief seeing Beatrix pull up in front of me.

"I'm so sorry," Piper says as soon as I get in the car. "I'll make it up to you."

"I want cotton candy," I tell her. "Lots of it."

"Done."

I roll my eyes but I'm smiling.

"Guess who came into the restaurant today?" Piper asks.

"The king himself."

"No, but close enough." She glances at me. "The prince came in again. He asked for my number again so I told him I'll give him my number when he designs a video game in my honor."

I laugh. "That'll never happen."

"That's the plan."

I shake my head. Most girls would be ecstatic if a prince asked for their number. Not Piper. Her ability to judge someone for who they are and not based on status or money is part of why I love her.

"Who'd you leave with Saturday?" Piper asks. "I never got a glimpse of him."

"Just some guy."

It's not a lie but I feel like I'm deceiving her all the same. I'm still ashamed of my repeat, I don't want her to know I broke my own rules.

"Rate his looks on a scale of one through ten," she demands.

"Nine."

"Okay now rate the sex."

"Nine."

"Nice," she says, nodding. "You always get the good ones and I'm stuck with the losers."

"You know you have a perfectly handsome prince after you, I'm sure he'd love to have sex with you."

"Don't start," she says, glaring at me.

I snort and turn to look out the window. Summer is in full swing and everything looks lush and green. Summer is my favorite season, I hate the cold.

When Piper drops me off at my apartment I bid her goodbye and climb the stairs to my apartment. Inside I take a hot shower, feeling my muscles relax under the spray. Today was long. Every day is long. I wonder if it ever gets easier, if the constant grind ever gets less tiring. I've been working my ass off between school and work since I was sixteen. I'm tired.

After I shower I heat up some leftovers in the microwave and lean against the counter as I watch the plate of food inside spin. I feel like it's my brain that's being cooked. I feel so worn out, so winter-bear tired. I try to remember the last time I didn't feel like roadkill. My night with CJ comes to mind.

Something about him takes all of the tension out of my body and all of the distrust out of my mind. I know that's not very wise of me and I should definitely know better. I don't know who CJ is and he seems pretty shady. But a large part of me wants to trust him, against my better judgment.

I most likely won't ever see him again. Perhaps that's a blessing though. I don't need to be all doe-eyed for some sketchy guy I don't know anything about.

An image of him laughing at something I said floats through my head. Followed by a perfect recollection of the look of concern on his face when I told him how I got my scar. It seemed like he actually cared. I remember the way he asked me about myself, something nobody other than Piper ever really does.

Tell me something to remember you by, he'd repeated the same thing I demanded of him so many weeks earlier. I was caught off guard, he always seems to be catching me off guard.

I most likely won't see him again but even though our time together was short and fleeting I know I'll remember him for a while. I'll remember the kindness in his eyes, his soft touch, his ridiculous cactus boxers.

The microwave beeps, signaling my food is done and I shake my head. God, what is wrong with me? It's not like it's true love, he's just some guy. Get it together, I demand of myself. I've never needed the company of a man before and I don't need it now.

I sit down at the table and stab my fork into a piece of chicken. I can feel the heat of my own irritation working its way up my neck. This is ridiculous, the way I'm acting is ridiculous. I will not be seeing CJ again. If I do see him, I'm turning in the other direction and running.

I've never been a coward but this isn't about being afraid, it's about self-preservation. When you start trusting people is when you get utterly and completely screwed over. No thank you. 

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Author's Note: What do you think about Charli's mindset? Let me know in a comment!