Royal Dilemma

Chapter Thirty-Four

(Charli's Point of View)

Fungi. Joey said his cat's name was Fungi. CJ had said his brother's cat was also named Fungi and they made the same "fun guy" joke too. Is it a coincidence?

I raise my eyes to study the library around me. I came here to get some homework done, hoping it would inspire me to be extra studious, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Fungi, Fungi, Fungi. Could it be a coincidence?

I take a deep breath and exhale, then force my attention onto my textbook. I manage to get a few problems done before my mind starts wandering again.

When I really think about it there are some other similarities between Caleb and CJ. They have similar mannerisms and they both have a sweet nature. They're both funny and kind and the family dynamic is the same.

The family dynamic is the same. CJ had a twin and three older brothers, just like Caleb does. One of Caleb's brothers is even a little eccentric like CJ's was.

I tap my pen against my textbook.

A moment later my phone starts vibrating and I jump. My alarm to meet Piper is going off.

I pack up my things and meet Piper in the parking lot. I hop into Beatrix and she drives us to our painting class, her newest hobby of choice.

Tonight we're painting a sunflower. The cinder block walls and linoleum floor reminds me of my high school art room and I try to focus on tracing the pencil lines I made with my black paint. Finally, I break.

"Does Colin ever talk about Caleb?"

Piper pauses with her hand in front of her canvas and looks over at me. "Not really, why?"

"I don't know," I shrug. "I was just wondering."

"Are you interested in him?" She asks with a small smile.

"No, I just..." I trail off.

I don't want to tell her about my suspicions. They sound completely ridiculous even to me.

"I just don't know much about him," I finish.

Piper shrugs and leans in close to her canvas, touching her brush to a spot on the left. "Colin doesn't talk about his family much at all. I'm not sure why. I can ask if you want though."

"No, it's fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I was just curious. If I really want to know I can ask him myself."

The next time Caleb comes into the restaurant I try to grill him in the most casual way I can.

"We've got some sweet corn today, do you want some of that?" I ask him.

CJ had told me he was not only allergic to corn but also loves it.

Caleb shakes his head. "Not really a corn guy."

I nod.

While we wait for his food to be made I wander back over to him since I don't have any other customers.

"Piper and I are thinking about doing a game night," I lie, leaning across the booth in front of him. "Does your family ever do game nights?"

CJ's family did weekly game nights on Sundays, he used to text me about all the crazy ways his brothers tried to cheat.

"No," Caleb says, shrugging. "We're not really a competitive family."

"No? I would think with so many men in the family there would be a lot of competitiveness. Maybe a lot of cheaters."

Caleb shakes his head slowly. "Nope."

I study him, looking for signs of deception but he looks the same as he always does. Is he lying?

After he leaves the restaurant I contemplate if I'm just being paranoid. I must be, right? This whole thing is ridiculous, the idea that Caleb could be CJ is ridiculous. Even if Caleb was CJ I doubt he would come to my place of work and potentially out himself.

I pile a table's plates on my tray and let out a big breath. Of course I'm being ridiculous. Caleb is not CJ and the cat names are just a coincidence.

It's been months, CJ should be off my mind by now. I can't seem to forget him though. I'm not sure that I really want to either. I think there's a very tiny part of me that hopes whatever's keeping CJ and I apart will be removed at some point and we can be together. I've never been much of a wishful thinker but I allow myself this small delusion.

But deep down I know. I know that we won't ever be together, not really.

A few days later I'm standing at my kitchen counter ripping open my mail when I come across a letter from the organization that provides my scholarship.

We regret to inform you we can no longer provide financial assistance for the upcoming semesters.

My heart sinks.

I skim the rest of the letter. They're taking away my scholarship, they don't give a reason why, but they do say it's not because of anything I did.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

I'm going to have to take out loans now and I'm going to be paying them off until I'm sixty.

I lean against the counter and stare at the paper letter as if the words might rearrange themselves to say something else.

My scholarship paid for most of my school expenses so the rest I was actually able to pay out of pocket. I don't like the idea of having to take out loans and having them accrue interest while I get my degree. I still have a couple of years of school left plus the upcoming semester, plenty of time for the loans to become unmanageable. Heck, even without interest by the time I graduate the loans will be unmanageable.

I was planning on getting a master's, but will I have to settle for a bachelor's now?

I spend the rest of the week applying for scholarships, but most scholarship application dates have already passed by now.

I feel a little bit like a fish out of water, floundering for any chance of life. I'm starting to feel a little hopeless though.

At the end of the week, I finally crack and tell Piper what happened over lunch on her couch.

"Can they even do that?" she asks.

"I mean it's their money, so I guess so." I pick the lettuce off my sandwich. I don't have much of an appetite anyway.

"Maybe you can get into the program I did?" Piper says, taking a bite of her wrap. "They gave me a full ride and I barely have to do anything, just a few events a year."

I shake my head. "I looked into that, the deadline's past."

Piper's face falls. "I'm so sorry, Charli."

I shrug, attempting to seem nonchalant. "It's not a big deal. I'll just get loans like everyone else."

Piper's eyebrows pinch together. "Are you sure there's nothing else?"

"I've looked everywhere." I take a small bite of my sandwich, it takes a lot of effort to chew and swallow.

"Wait a week before you take out the loans, okay? Let me do some digging."

I furrow my brows. "What do you think you're going to find?"

Piper shrugs. "I don't know, but it's worth a look. I'm a better digger than you and you know it."

I nod because she is. "I'll wait."

"Everything's going to work out."

I really hope she's right but I have a sinking feeling she's wrong.