Royal Dilemma

Chapter 37

(Caleb's Point of View) 

I'm going to tell Charli the truth. Today. Right now. Not literally right now, because literally right now I'm freaking out in my car but in a few minutes I'm going to get my shit together and tell her the truth.

I know Colin is going to be mad at me for telling Charli the truth because it means she can get us in trouble for using the Shirashio, but when I really think about it I don't think Charli would ever do that. Plus, I'd rather get in trouble than keep lying to Charli.

I've been parked outside of her apartment for ten minutes already after making sure she was home. My stomach's twisting and churning in the most awful way and I feel a little nauseous.

Suck it up.

I force myself to get out of the car and go up to her door. I think I stand there for a full minute before I knock.

Charli looks very surprised to see me when she answers the door.

"Caleb, what're you doing here?"

"I really need to talk to you about something."

She furrows her eyebrows. "How did you get my address?"

"That's part of what I need to talk to you about."

She lets me in and the familiar smell of her apartment eases my nerves the tiniest bit. We both sit down on her sofa and I bounce my knee while I try to think how best to phrase what I came here to say.

"I'm CJ," I blurt.

She blinks. "What?"

"The person you know as CJ," I clarify. "That's me. I was using Shirashio. I'm CJ."

Her face stays blank for a moment then the only emotion I see is confusion.

"Why...?"

"Colin and I wanted to go out without people knowing who we were. I never intended—" I swallow. "I'm so sorry Charli."

She surprises me by looking incredibly sad instead of angry. "Why would you come to the restaurant?"

I shrug. "I missed you... I should've stayed away, I'm sorry." I play with my fingers. "I meant it every time I said I loved you, and that's still true."

It looks like my words cause her physical pain.

"Caleb... You've been coming into the restaurant every week."

I cringe.

"For months, Caleb."

"I know, a lie of omission is a lie. I'm really, really sorry."

Charli sits back against her couch and shakes her head as if she can't believe it. She keeps looking at me and looking away as if she can't quite believe I'm real either.

"What are you thinking?" I ask her, trying to read her blank look.

"I can't even process this." She shakes her head. "I thought..." She turns to me. "Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

"Colin kind of freaked out on me. He thought we were gonna get in trouble and it seemed like a big deal at the time but now I'm realizing it isn't. Plus..." I'm not sure if I want to voice my thoughts. "You kind of like to lay low so I thought if you knew I was a prince you'd bail."

Charli shakes her head. "Your status doesn't affect your relationship with me. Lying to me does."

I look down at my hands, too ashamed to meet her eyes.