for tonight, I'm actually going to use this damn book.
I'm so tired of tonight. it's been absolutely terrible. this whole week has been. first the water gets turned off then my mom refuses to pay the wifi. I haven't gotten any responses from the jobs I applied for and I'm getting tired of these kittens clawing at me.
everything is just, not how I want it. I want a decent childhood before I become an adult, not one where I'm fearing for my life if I'll be placed into foster care again like I was when I was a baby.
we tried to stay at a hotel tonight to ya know, get cleaned up and hopefully rest better ( along with free internet so we wouldn't waste data ) & apparently there's a fucking concert in town so the one night we needed one, they're all fucking booked.
so we decided to just go home and call it a night, considering all of the hotels in that area were more than likely. I wanted to drive home ( since my mom's car was " being stupid " my step - father had to come to try and fix basically nothing and followed us to the hotel ) & I wanted to drive the car since my mom wouldn't. my step - dad at least wanted me to get some time in since I need to before I can legally drive. she threw a big fit and that upset me.
I had to ride with her back, my brother tried to cheer me up by saying I could drive one of those electric scooters around town that we see but my mom thought we were talking to her. so me being the stubborn and already upset person I am I went " we weren't talking to you " and you know that she did?
slapped me on the mouth and called me a bitch.
I was genuinely shocked because I've hardly ever been hit by one of my parents but this, threw me into a loop. & it was the first time I've genuinely cried in a while.
like I've been saying before, I'm a good kid. I try to listen to my parents, even if I'm a moody teenage boy, I don't do bad things and I pretty much tell the honest truth. even though I tend to get snappy when no one will listen to me.
so for now, I'm just gonna sleep on it. hopefully tomorrow ( well later today) will be better. <3
