Devour

Chapter 1 - Errol

I'm gonna kill him.

'All Star' is blasting from speakers hidden god knows where around this house, marking the five hundred and seventy-fifth time these kids have managed to give me a migraine within ten seconds of waking up. I try to shut all the speakers off at once but goddamn were those kids up literally all night setting this up? Also how many of them??? I really just blame Pasch but that's not fair.

No, it's completely fair because there he is, in true form, sliding down the bannister wearing one of his sister's skirts, followed by his two sisters, who all trip into the foyer doing a ---if I didn't have a splitting headache I'd care--- really well choreographed lip sync and dance routine all the way into the kitchen.

"DAD!!! I can't find where Patch hid the speakers but I know it was him I heard him get out of bed." The speaker is Dax. Dax is two months younger than Patch. Dax does not do wrong things. I hate having a favorite but damn. The kid is sweet. And respectful. Handsome, and getting a bit tall he's reasonable talented and arguably the best child on the planet, a status he got by NEVER waking me up by banging a pair of symbols over my face at three am on a dare from one of his sisters. Pasch. That was way four hundred and ninety seven he gave me a headache within five seconds of waking me up.

"It's okay," I say, patting Dax's head, "Just get your breakfast I'm up now--------really?"

Cora, our certified child expert normal person who also happens to be beautiful, competent, and most of all extraordinarily intelligent, is currently dancing with Pasch and the girls around the table.

"If you can't beat them," she says, shrugging, amused.

"Dad, why are we up so early?" that's Jules, our youngest psychic, only ten years old, a very nice boy who tries hard and wants to be the best Agent ever and save loads of people. Yeah, he's crap I don't know how he got in the program but even at this age he can't even levitate a book for more than a minute let alone do anything practical.

"Because your brother is insane," I say, quietly, getting Excedrin from the cabinet.

"We're going into town today, we have to get our lessons done then we can go to the shops," Pasch says, completely happy, skipping up to hug me good-morning holy shit the kid is wearing sparkly high heels where the hell did he even GET those?

"I'm not taking you any earlier just because you wake me up at the crack of dawn," I say, trapping him in the hug for a squeeze, "And go get in your uniform and take OFF those shoes you stole from Cora or one of your other teachers."

"I had to change here ONCE after a fancy dinner, you children," Cora says, not even pretending to be annoyed. She loves the heathens.

"But if we got all of our lessons done we could go earlier," that's Nel the smallest of us, though she's only a year and a half younger than Pasch and Dax. A tiny, delicate girl, with reasonably good psychic abilities. She's been able to communicate with me telepathically. She's Pasch's little side-kick in most schemes and is quite the spit fire.

"Or I could go back to sleep for two hours, after this," I say, chewing another Excedrin before looking for coffee.

"We never will. Today's test day and I need lots of time for my Essay on the War of 1812," that's Emma. She is Dax and Pasch's age, just like seven months younger. Not only is she the best academically but she's physically the same size as the boys and easily Dax's match with telekinesis. She has focus and drive, and a bit more patience. Like Nel she's becoming a decent telepath, able to carry on short conversations and improving her general perceptions of people. Dax will with time, I trust, he's more impulsive at this age though than the girls.