Devour

Chapter 31 - Pasch

All right, I'm not the most charitable person in the world. In fact, I'm a completely selfish bastard who would watch my own mother burn in hell if saving her would even mildly inconvenience me. I know this about myself. I'm comfortable being a complete leech on humanity and doing absofuckinglutely nothing to justify my existence.

However.

I am protective of my slightly younger than me baby brother who is a literal angel who does not do wrong things. In fact, the boy is so excessively GOOD that he is currently fucking his handler, which is sexual abuse because he's sixteen, in order to get his tracers so he can go and do good deeds in his off time. His off time. He does good deeds normally through a normal work day they let him help the police but that's not enough. He wants to do more good things.

So here's the thing. I can't let a thirty something year old continue to fuck my sixteen year old brother.

Especially not if preventing her would involve two really awesome things I totally want to happen anyway 1) me to get laid 2) my brother to be annoyed with me.

Do I have a plan? But of course! Is it a good plan? Most definitely not! Am I doing it anyway? I don't see why not!

"Okay, you stay here, I'm gonna go seduce my brother's handler," I say, patting my handler, Alistair, on the shoulder.

"Um----dude, why?" he asks, his mouth full of food.

"Because it will annoy my brother AND help him, win win," I say.

"Um---I feel like you shouldn't do that----how does it help your brother?"

"He's sixteen, you told me everyone knows she fucks every nice looking agent she gets," I sigh.

"You're also like, sixteen."

"I'm seventeen and he's my brother, it's my option to be protective," also she actually can overpower Dax at any given moment with the tasers. She can't with me. They don't issue ones that would affect me. Well, they do, but not to her or anyone remotely typical. Cora had the things for Errol but those are long since locked up since no one is even half as good as him. That they know of.

"I still think you should like, not do that----what's your plan?"

"Convince her I'd make a better lover and get her to be MY handler instead of his. She can switch if she likes."

"Wait---then I wouldn't be your handler---that means I'd have to do something---wait let's talk about this—"

"Shut up and stay," I say, walking away from him and across the room to where Christine is alone by the drinks. She's annoyed because---oh Dax in typical fashion is surrounded by other women. Specifically a group of girls who have adopted him as their pet. That's understandable. Poor thing, he's asleep right now. He stayed up all night last night.

"Hello, I'd rather you were my handler than my brothers," I say, sidling up to her.

"You're Patch," she says, smiling a little.

"It's actually-----do none of my siblings know my real name?" quick check. No. No they do not. They think my name is Patch and they're too polite/used to it to ask why. "No, they don't. We'll stick with Patch, yeah, what's Dax told you about me?" I ask.

"He says you're fifteen different kinds of trouble mixed several natural disasters."

"I thought a girl like you would like trouble."

"I'm not a girl, I'm a woman."

"I bet I could make you feel like a woman."

"I don't know where this is going," she knows damn well where this is going.