Is this love?

Mental Breakdown

"You are not weird. It's not you. It's her. She is ignoring us." He whispered.

"If it was her then why am I being punished? Why doesn't it seem to affect her to lose me?" I said as his grip on me tightened.

"It's unfair I know but it's the truth. We'll never leave you Tae. Because you are an amazing friend. I promise. She doesn't want us? Too bad."

"Don't.. I don't want any more promises. Or expectations." I said as his grip loosened. I walked back home quickening my pace until I was running.

I ran into my room and locked myself in the bathroom. I stood with the back to my door and broke down. It was like hyung leaving all over again. Not a reason to be devastated but it still always happens. Maybe I am weird.

Jungkook POV

It has been 2 weeks since Rose told us clearly that she has no intentions of being friends with us again. Taehyung isn't coping well.

He thinks we don't know but he secretly breaks down in his bathroom and his smile no longer reaches his eyes. His mind is always somewhere else and he keeps zoning out with a sad look on his face.

That's why I decided. He doesn't need a relationship right now. And he definitely doesn't need this pressure of figuring out his feelings and sexuality. Especially if it's for me.

Even I'm not sure about my feelings right now and the last thing I wanna do is lead him on. After all he confessed in the first place expecting me not to like him back. So he was just planning to confess and get over the small crush he has on me.

I suppose that's the best thing for him right now. Or maybe I'm just really scared. I don't know how Tae is so chill about this. Maybe he isn't really taking it seriously. Which is perfect for what I'm gonna do....

Tae POV

I wasn't over what happened at all. But I didn't want the others to know. I hid whenever I broke down. At least I still have Jungkook. It's somewhat reassuring to know that I have someone who actually likes me back and gives me as much importance as I give him.

Valentine's Day was coming in a week and I was planning to ask him out properly. I decided that I shouldn't be hung up over what happened. If it resolves itself it will. If not I'll get over it.

I'm not gonna let my life stop. I'll ask Kookie out. I don't care what my sexuality is. I know that I have feelings for him.

As I walked into class these thoughts were going through my head. I sat down and smiled at Kook. He smiled back.

I'm going to ask him out tomorrow for sure. As Mr. Jackson droned on and on about subject verb agreement I planned out how I would ask Kookie out.

I was quite excited about it until lunch break happened.

"Hey Tae. I need to tell you something. I've thought about this a lot and I think I might be straight after all. I think we are just overthinking all this." Jungkook said when the two of us were alone.

There go my plans and day dreams. I suppose this is good in its own way. We were best friend goals after all.

I can't say I'm not disappointed but I was always afraid of relationships anyway. I can live with this..

"How are you so sure though? Don't you think you should give it time?"

"I don't know. I think I'm just overthinking things. We are really close and that's enough I guess."

"I see. Well if you are sure then okay I guess." I said with a poker face. This did disappoint me. I think I seriously like Kookie. More than any of my previous crushes. But if he is straight I have no choice but to move on. Besides we will still always be best friends.

Tzuyu POV

The past few days taehyung looked gloomy. He would often be lost in his own thoughts and his eyes didn't have the usual sparkle. I saw the way Rose avoided him and caught on about what was happening. But why? What could possibly have happened?

I sat and pondered as my eyes fell on Rose. Well since they don't talk anymore. Might as well ask her. I walked up to her as she was doodling something in her book.

"Hey can I ask you something?"

"Yeah... What's up?" She said not looking up from her doodle.

"I've noticed that you don't hang out with Taehyung anymore and I know it's not my business but he seems to be terribly affected. What happened?"

She paused and looked up with a poker face.

"You are right." She looked back down again. "It's none of your business. Now if you excuse me I have to leave for my next class." She said monotone and walked away leaving 4 minutes early.

I stood there frozen not knowing what to do. What is up with her?

Jungkook POV

It's been a couple of months and Taehyung seemed to get slightly better. Well at least he was distracted and had accepted that it's not his fault if Rose randomly decided to bail on us.

Namjin seemed to be going strong and that cheered everyone up during our finals. We were well into our summer break which basically meant spending the whole time with each other until yoongi got tired of us.

We all looked forward to tenth grade oddly as it seemed like a chance at a new beginning with less monotony.

Sure enough we were nearing the end of our summer vacation. But as a last break before the tenth grade grind started we decided to go to the beach for the weekend and have unsupervised fun in hobi's uncle's beach house.

Although I was reluctant at first because of the idea of living with Jimin and his terrible knock knock jokes, I admit I'm starting to get excited. Clear blue skies and sand between our toes might be just what we all need.

Heyyyy. It's your definitely not favorite author who decided to update randomly because of their dopamine telling them to. Real talk though I'm sorry. I'll never forgive myself if I leave this book unfinished so i will finish it. But the time I'll take will be anywhere between a few months to decades depending on what my adhd allows me to do. Anyway peace out. I purple y'all. And drink water.