Is this love?

Therapy

7 years later

I woke up like every day with the will to just disappear. It had gotten better than before definitely when I used to have a splitting headache and this weird pain like someone was gnawing at my soul as I remembered every detail of the dream I had of him and I curled up in a ball until the lingering sadness faded away eventually into nothing.

Now I just woke up feeling kinda numb until I went to work. I got dressed like every day and went to work. Joking around with colleagues as always and laughing until they leave.

The only things I found real happiness in was working my ass off till there aren't any patients left anymore, I was studying to be a neurosurgeon after all. I figured an intense career would take my mind off everything and it did work. I would go home and paint until my fingers hurt. Initially all my paintings were angsty. My mind refused to move past it for an year.

Now I draw various things like sceneries even though they aren't my thing and random fanart or abstract sometimes depending on my mood.

I was healing thanks to my therapist Tzuyu. That's right. We never really talked after high school until an year ago. She was an immense help and we grew to be really good friends. Not in a transference kind of way. More of a therapist, favorite client kind of way.

Every weekend I went out to the bar to get my mind off everything. However I never drunk a single ounce of alcohol. I kept ordering lemonades and just observed everyone around me trying not to spiral until I became attached to this place in a weird way.

In the beginning everything I did reminded me of him and I couldn't go out of the house but after an year I could finally meet and talk to people without breaking down.
But lately I have been doing quite well. I was finally healing and moving on.

Sure the mornings were bad but I had my dream job and great friends. I had learnt to live with it even if I felt lonely sometimes.

Currently I was driving to my therapist, Tzuyu. I pulled in and parked my car before going in.

"V! Good to see you again! So how was your week?" She asked. V was my nickname now. Everyone called me that at work and practically every where. I couldn't bear to be reminded of my past self and the nickname Tae was connected to it. I decided to start a fresh in med school.

"It was good actually. I didn't get any dreams this week and I have thought about it and I think I can start dating again Tzuyu, even though I never thought I was the commitment kinda guy. Thought I'd stay single forever and just get a dog you know. Speaking of which I wanna get a dog. That's a commitment I always wanted." I said chuckling.

"That's great V! A dog would be great! And I am glad to hear that you are moving on very well because I actually have to tell you something. I am afraid I have to leave for a couple of weeks. I got an opportunity to do a small course which I think will be great for my career. But don't worry I am sure I can find a replacement therapist temporarily until I get back in case you need one. But you can always call me for emergencies and that's not as a therapist. It's as a friend."

"Don't worry about it Tzuyu. I will be fine. If I really need a therapist I can ask my friend from work. He keeps going on about his cousin from his town being an amazing therapist. When I told him I go for therapy he wouldn't stop about his cousin. Apparently he is moving to Seoul soon. He will be happy if I told him I need a temporary therapist."

"Great! I guess it's sorted then. Do keep calling me to update me though."

"Sure! I'll miss you. Study well and come back soon."

"Yup I was planning on that. Anyway moving on.. "

The rest of the session was just me talking about my week and paintings. Inspite of everything I did like my life. I was hurt 7 years ago after all. The first year was really bad but after that I healed.

The next day I went to work ready to break the news to my friend sung jae.

"Sung jae! I actually wanted to ask you about your cousin. You said he is coming to Seoul right? I might need a temporary replacement therapist while mine is gone for a couple of months."

"Yeah! He is coming 3 days later. This is great he already has his first client then. I'mma text him right now."

"Woah woah. I might not need that at all. I just wanted to confirm if he was coming because I might need a therapist in case of an emergency that's all. I am sure I won't need one anyway."

"Okay.. Well he is coming. I'll text you his number in case you need it." He said taking his phone from his pocket.

"Okay thanks! I'll go now. See ya later." I said getting to work.

The next few days went smoothly. I almost started to enjoy my life until a new patient arrived. She was in very bad shape and no one thought she had a chance of surviving long.

But the problem wasn't that. The problem began after she was successfully treated and I bumped into her family because the last thing I expected was for her niece to be a ghost from my past.

Double update y'all. To the 2 people reading this ilysm for sticking around even though my writing is questionable af. I started this in 10th grade and I'm in uni now so this story is super irrelevant in my head. But I wanna be able to finish this book and just binge read in the end and feel happy idk. Anyway I'll update tomorrow too if all goes well.