The Ways in Which We Think

Sixteen

To my fellow teens, it's okay, just please don't do what he did.

🤍

I started high school when I was eleven
I thought I was smart enough, I thought I was clever.
By thirteen I had forgotten how to dream,
Oh boy, I didn't know what to believe.
Two years later and I was cutting my skin like paper, I was falling apart and just wanted everything to stop.
Days, weeks, months, a whole year passes me by, I flew with the wind as I waited for the last breath of my life.

I was sixteen when I realised, sixteen when I found out I wasn't okay.
Sixteen years I spent drowning in my tears, another sixteen days passed and I no longer planned to stay.
I was crying when you met me,
On the cliff beneath the night sky
where you used the stars to light up my eyes
you sat beside me, and held onto my hands as you swore \" love it's okay, one day you'll be free, I promise to stay, I won't ever leave." and truth be told you stayed for that night.
But it would have been better if you had stayed for life, for all of eternity,
then I wouldn't have had to cross the galaxy to be a star with you tonight.

I fell in love with an angel. I fell in love with a saint.
He helped with my problems. He kept me out of harms way, but nobody did that for him, nobody was there to stop him from crumbling. I wish I could have stopped him, I wish I could have been their to catch him as he fell, I wish he knew how much I cared. But now he's up in the heavens where he can hear my thoughts, oh god, I wish I was there , so he could hear the words from my heart instead of my head.

"don't do it, don't fill the barrel, don't pull the trigger\" Thats what they said. but, how could they know what its like , to be drowning in your thoughts but dying from the thirst of feeling nothing inside. They didn't love me like you did, they didn't care that's it, I fell apart, I faded away, I was done with everyone's shit, I was done with living another day. You said you would stay and you disappeared but I know you're waiting for me by heavens gate.

I was sixteen when I realised, sixteen when I found out I wasn't okay.
Sixteen years I spent drowning in the tears, another sixteen days passed and I no longer planned to stay.
I still remember the night that we met
The way you sat and you listened
and stared into my soul.
The way we cried and we laughed
over conversations about our homes.
And then you said " just in case you forget, look up to the stars my dear and remember everything I said, for all that you know, darling I'll be there.
And there he was, not too far among the stars
I found my way back to him after being shot down in my war.

I was sixteen when I was unloved
I was sixteen when i fell in love
And I was sixteen when my love left me all alone.
I was sixteen when I believed heaven was above
And I was sixteen, I was sixteen when I found my peace amongst the stars.