Save Me (Mafuyu X Uenoyama)

13

Only a few minutes later, Uenoyama had arrived at Mafuyu's house, finally hanging up the phone when he got inside the door. He greeted Sato's mother with a polite smile before walking away and letting his concern show once again. He made a beeline to his lover's bedroom, kneeled next to the bed, and softly tapped his shoulder to wake him.

This time, Mafuyu didn't flinch. He just opened his dazed eyes and looked straight ahead, stiffening slightly as he expected to be hit. He didnt care enough anymore to flinch. He thought he deserved it. He was really only half awake, closing his eyes again moments later when he realized he didnt have the strength to get up.

"M-mafuyu..?" Uenoyama looked him in the eyes, concluding that his mind was certainly somewhere else. "Come here.." he mumbled, trying not to cry as he picked him up and set him in his lap.

"Oh... Uenoyama-kun..." he slowly opened his eyes once more. A thick fog clouded his thoughts and made it hard to think. He was just limp in Uenoyama's arms, trusting him to keep him safe. He needed a hug right now. He needed to be held and comforted and told that everything would be fine.

Uenoyama cradled him in his arms and looked down at him with tears in his eyes. The sight of Mafuyu in this state was pathetic... He was bruised and upset and barely even able to form full sentences from all this stress. "Mafuyu... I'm so sorry..." he whispered to him, kissing his forehead. "I should have barged in there... I should've trusted my gut and got you out of there..."

Mafuyu shook his head. "No. It's my fault... I deserved it. I'm useless, Uenoyama-kun... and I made you upset... I'm good for nothing..." He felt like Yuki. He felt like he was desperate for something to make him feel better. Or even feel anything at all. It was agonizing to know that this was probably how his past lover felt right before he died, and he heaved a heavy sigh. Not that he could understand the struggle of feeling like this all the time like Yuki did. "Dont leave me..." he whispered under his breath, looking up into Ritsuka's ocean blue eyes. He felt like it'd be safer if he stayed supervised.

"Its not your fault!" Uenoyama told him, not meaning to raise his voice. "Its your dad's fault. Hes a rotten piece of shit, Mafuyu. Hes disgusting and I hate him. I hate him for putting you through all this." It was hard for him to keep his cool at this point. He hated that man with all his heart.

"You know... I'm used to it. The hitting is normal. It's not that big of a deal." He was trying to convince himself more than anything. He closed his eyes and felt a single tear roll down his face. He was so overstimulated and just didnt know what to do.

Uenoyama shook his head and wiped his tear. "No, Mafuyu... its not. Please dont blame this on yourself..." he hugged him tight and watched as he hugged back. Moments later, he felt a wet spot on his shirt, realizing that Mafuyu for once was actually crying.

And that alone was enough to make him cry too.

They squeezed each other tight and cried together, both letting it all out. It was comforting, in a way. They both had each other to hold when they needed it. "I love you so much... I'll fix this, I promise.." Uenoyama told him through small sobs.

But that only made Mafuyu cry harder. He dug his nails into the fabric of Ritsuka's shirt, squeezing it in his hands out of pure emotion. He didnt know what to say. If Uenoyama tried to fix this, he would die too. And that was the last thing Mafuyu wanted.

"Dont!!!" He yelled, not expecting to be that loud. Crying had broken his daze and now he felt the full weight of things. It was agonizing. "I dont want to lose you..." he said after a few soft sobs.

Uenoyama had no idea what to do. Mafuyu looked like he was in so much pain... he couldnt stand to watch it. "Mafuyu, please..." he whispered, bowing his head to hide his face. "I'm not going anywhere... you wont lose me, I promise... I just want you safe.." he rubbed his back in a circular motion, hoping to calm him down at least a bit.

"Please make it stop..." Mafuyu whispered in a small, weak voice. "It hurts so bad... my skin, my ribs my... my thoughts... it hurts..." he was frantically fidgeting with his fingers, trying to look around for one of his little toys he often messed with at times like this. He knew it seemed childish, but he needed it. He needed it to help him process things and think clearly. It was a sensory thing that was extremely important to him.

Uenoyama grabbed his hands and held them tightly. "You're going to make your fingers bleed..." he then looked around and found a little cube with various textures and buttons. "Is this what you were looking for?" He asked softly and handed it to him.

Mafuyu nodded and practically snatched it from him. He fiddled with it and took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He was glad Uenoyama was with him, because he didnt know what he would do if he wasnt.

"Let's try and focus on something else.." Ritsuka said, concluding that their crying fest was over and that he'd try to be as comforting as he could. He rubbed up and down Sato's back once more, knowing he liked that. He listened as the boy started to hum, and he decided to hum along, following his patterns and starting to understand him a bit better. They were going to get through this together. He would make sure of it.

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A/n: Please stop rushing me to update. It's very disrespectful to me as both a person and a writer. I need breaks from this story for my mental health and I've already expressed similar sentiments in previous chapters. I understand you like the story but it's awful to wake up every morning to another comment pressuring me when I'm not ready.