HINDSIGHT

002

"Excuse me!" Napalingon ako sa tumawag ng atensyon ko. I saw a woman whose gloomy aura is not distinctly unfamiliar to me. I know her. Not personally, but I see her here at the bar occasionally. Other times with her friends. Her eyes are bloodshot, her pupils dilated. Her lips are chapped almost as if I could make a guess that she is dehydrated. "Hi!" I enthusiastically greeted her with a smile. She was biting her nails and looking at the menu. "Can I get a bottle of whiskey?" she said, not even looking at me. My brows furrowed. "You mean a glass of whiskey?" That's when she turned her head to me. She arched her left brow. "I said a bottle

I kindly snickered. Someone is in a bad mood. "Coming right up." I muttered, smiling. I got her bottle of whiskey as she requested. I also got her a glass and a bucket of ice. "Here you go." Inabot ko sa kanya ang lahat ng hawak ko. She opened the bottle of whiskey I handed her, poured it in the glass, and shot it straight down her throat. My mouth gaped. Wow. She must be a heavyweight drinker. Anyhow, not that it matters.

I catered to other customers' requests. I own Ground Zero. I am always here and do bartend sometimes. They say a good businessman takes good care of his business. That is why I take great care of the bar.

Muli akong napatingin sa babae. She was wearing a black jacket and shirt. She was staring at nothing while holding her glass of whiskey. I am not one to pry on someone's business, so I just minded my own. I steal glances from her each time I am given. Hindi ko mawari kung bakit hindi ko maalis ang mga mata ko sa kanya. She is not even requesting something of me. Ni hindi nga niya kailangan ng companion. When you look at her, you can guess that she is reserved but at the same time has an enthusiastic personality. I can read people, but somehow I couldn't read her. She is an open book with blank pages. She is so open that you fail to discern what is true.

An hour or two passed, and she stood up from her seat. The bottle of whiskey was empty. Her day must have been probably the worst. It makes me wonder what happened to her that prompted her into drinking a bottle of whiskey all by herself. Well it's not like I want to be nosy. Her actions merely incite a sensation of curiosity, and I am nothing but curious. I am concerned for her.

An hour has passed again. There is this magnetic force that pulls me towards her. I couldn't seemingly stay put during the last hour, so my feet naturally moved and tried to follow her tracks. I found her drinking again. Hindi ko alam kung saan at kanino ito galing. How many drinks did she have during the past hour? She looks more wasted now than I last saw her several hours ago. Before I could even get where she was, may lumapit sa kanyang lalake at hinawakan siya sa bewang. Napalingon siya rito. The man whispered something in her ear and gave her a drink. Tinulak niya muna palayo ang lalake before she took the drink from him without a second thought and walked away. I quickly followed suit. She was walking her way through the rooftop. The rooftop is not a restricted area. Baka gusto niyang magpahangin.

She was standing at the pedestal when I got there. May balak ba siyang pagtangkaan ang buhay niya? What I did was observe her from the far distant corner of the room. Mahirap na kung wala siyang kasama. I can't have her do that. She was looking down. I don't know what's in her mind or what she plans to do. She took a step forward. I observed her for the next minute before I interrupted her attempt. "Would that make you feel any better?" I uttered from where I am. I am currently leaning on the wall with one foot propped. She quickly turned to me. Kumunot ang kanyang noo. "Who are you?" She confusingly asked.

"Apparently, I am the owner of this building." I stated as a matter of fact. She stared at me blankly. Para bang may nasabi akong mali. "So what? Mind your own business." She said, unbothered and turned her back on me. I lightly chuckled. "But I am minding my business. This is my business, Missy. I own this establishment so no funny business here." I emphasized the word my business. She got off the platform. "There. Happy?" She said, full of scorn. I snickered and stood properly. I walked towards her.

I gently smiled at her. "Kanina ko pa sinusundan ang bawat galaw mo." I kindly told her, not intending to emanate something malicious. Her brows furrowed again. "So you are, in short, a stalker." Nakataas ang kilay niyang sabi. I let out a laugh. Yeah, I admit ang stalker nga ng dating ko. However, I am merely after her best interest. "I am just concerned for my beloved customer." I extended my right to her. Tinitigan niya lang ito. "I am Theodore Hendrix. The owner of the dive bar you frequent." She idly stood there, just ogling at my hand extended to her. I reached for her left hand, clasped it as I shook it. "This is how you do a handshake." Kumunot ulit ang kanyang noo.

"Do I look foolish to you? I know how to do a handshake." Then she rolled her eyes at me. She harshly took her hand back from my hold. I chuckled at her reaction. "At isa pa, I know what I am doing, so please. Fuck. Off." Mataray niyang sabi sakin. "I can't. I can't have you dying here. Not at my establishment." I countered her remark. She poked her tongue on the side of her cheek. Huminga siya nang malalim bago nagsalita. "Nangiinis ka ba? Kasi kung oo, kuhang kuha mo na inis ko." That is when I burst into laughter. "I am not, okay? Hindi kita iniinis o ano man. I am just a concerned owner here, that's all." Eh sa yun naman talaga ang totoo. I am just after her safety. At isa pa, hindi ko naman siya intensyon na inisin.

She shook her head. "Fine. I'll take my leave. Jeez." Naglakad siya palampas sakin pero bago pa siya makalayo, napahawak siya sakin. Ako lang ang malapit sa kanya na maaari niyang pagkuhaan ng suporta. "Are you okay?" I asked her, with worry in my voice. Tumayo siya nang maayos. "Yes, I am perfectly fine." She fixed the hem of her jacket. She composed herself. I beg to differ. She doesn't look fine to me. "You don't look fine to me. Have you been crying? Your eyes are bloodshot and your pupils are kinda dilated." Marahan kong sinabi sa kanya. Kanina ko pa napansin na sobrang maga at pula ng mata niya. I have been debating whether to question her regarding that or not, for the particular reason, firstly, it is none of my business as she said. Secondly, we barely know each other. Thus, where is my right to question her?

"No. I just didn't have enough sleep. That's all." She uttered, sternly. Tinignan ko siya sa mata. She averted her gaze. My brows furrowed when she suddenly placed her hand on her mouth. Para siyang naduduwal. Marahan ko siyang hinawakan sa balikat. "Ayos ka- jeez!" Before I even finished my sentence, she threw up on me, and it was quite a lot. Parang sinuka niya lahat ng nainom at kinain niya ngayong araw. I gently rubbed her back. "Yeah. You do look fine." I ironically mumbled. She rolled her eyes on me as she wiped her eyes and mouth. She sniffed. "Fuck. That was a blast." I reckon that there is a confused look on my face right now. I am smiling at the same time, perplexed. This girl is amusing.

"You are something." Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "Ikaw ang may something. Nasukaan ka na, and yet you are still smiling." Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. Oo nga naman. Nasukaan na ako, nakangiti pa ako. "Ikaw, alam mo nang hindi ka okay, and yet you still refused to ask for help. Wala naman masama ron." Para siyang natigilan sa sinabi ko. What? Did I say something awry otherwise? I was about to say something when her phone rang. Kinuha niya iyon sa likod ng pants niya. Tinitigan niya lang iyon hanggang sa tumigil. Her expression is distinguishably blank. Her phone rang again. Muli niya lang tinitigan iyon at hinintay patayin ang tawag. What's wrong?

When her phone rang the third time, that's when she answered. "Yeah?" She looked down at her feet. She tapped her foot as she responded to the caller. "I'm just..." she paused and looked at me. "Unwinding." Dugtong niya at inalis ang tingin sakin. "Pauwi na rin ako." Malamig niyang sabi like she was forced to utter those words. "Okay, bye." She stood up and ended the call. Nagsimula na siyang maglakad papalayo sakin. "Wait!" But I stopped her. Is she serious? She's going home by herself in that state? "Ano na naman ba?" She turned to me, annoyed. "Whoa. Kalma." She rolled her eyes on me and turned to me. She crossed her arms. "What is it?" I smiled at her. "Let me take you home." I offered.

She blinked and blinked. "What? I just want assurance that you will get home safely, and in order for me to be assured, I may have to do that myself." I muttered. Mahirap nang umuwi nang lasing. I saw her suppress her smile. She pursed her lips. "Thank you, but I may have to kindly reject your offer. I can manage." She nodded at me as a sign of assurance. "Well, if you say so." I smiled at her. I didn't insist on the offer any further. I don't want her to be under the impression of me as being nosy. I hate the notion that she will perceive me as something negative like that. I wouldn't want that. She shook her head and walked away. "Bye!" Paalam ko sa kanya and waved my hand even though she couldn't see that. She waved her hand, though, as she walked towards the door. I scratched my nape and smiled to myself.