Sanctuary // H.S. AU

Daddy Issues

I wake up in warm arms more confused than I already was, with a hangover from hell. 

Turning over, I see Kai cuddled against a pillow.

I groan and hit him.

"What the fuck happened?"

Kai wakes up smiling at me.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean did we fuck or not?" I try to hold my anger in.

"Yeah we did, do you not remember?"

I'm finally able to sit up straight looking at him like he's crazy.

"You really don't remember? I made sure you were able to consent to it and everything."

Flashbacks are hitting me, remembering him fucking me till the sun came out.

"Fuck, now I do." 

I get out of bed and make my way to my room, ignoring anything else he says.

I start the hot shower only being able to think of how Harry fucked me in his club last night.

My mind starts to drift to the thought of him bending me over, and my hand slowly starts to slide down my torso.

I remember the knife as I start to circle my finger around the bundle of nerve.

I let out a low moan, picturing his face. I insert two fingers, thrusting them slowly.

I grab onto the bar inside of my shower for balance. I feel my head starting to spin, and then I remember his deep accent.

"Now." I feel myself start to come undone. I grip the bar tighter as my legs shake.

I come back to Earth, and finish my shower.

Drying myself off, I look in the mirror seeing the dark spots circling around my neck dipping into my chest having no clue which one is from which guy. 

I grab my hot pink tank and throw on some light washed mom jeans then walk out the door for work.

I hop in the car and opt for bluetooth instead of cassette. I play Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood, feeling fitting after the night I had.

As I drive down the busy city roads, I allow myself to think of the night I had. I can't believe I fucked Kai, I've been so into Harry these last few weeks I didn't think I would do that. 

I turn onto the road where the bookshop is, and park my car. I take a deep breath and step out onto the street. Maybe more of last night will come back to me the longer I work.

I walk inside to see Alice putting new books on the back shelf.

"Hey! How was your weekend?" She says.

"It'd be better if I remembered more of it." I sarcastically smile at her.

"Oh no. Did something happen?" She says, not in a malicious way, but in a way showing she has genuine concern for me.

Ever since my dad died, Alice has been a big support to me emotionally. She's only a couple years older than me, but I view her as an older sister. I often keep information private, but after this morning I decide to share more with her.

"Well you remember the guy who came in? Beautiful eyes, weird girlfriend."

"How could I forget? I've been waiting for you to bring him up." She smiles and begins to walk towards me.

"I've been seeing more of him, and I worry I might actually like him."

"Oh my god, Lennox Grey likes someone?" 

"I do. Well I thought I did, until I woke up in Kai's bed this morning."

"Kai? I thought you were over him months ago."

"So did I, but apparently last night I wasn't. I remember fucking Harry last night, but can't remember getting into Kai's bed."

"If you can't remember that sounds like a red flag to me. I know you don't like people often, but when you do, you're full in."

"Yeah I thought so too, but Kai said he even made sure I consented. I just don't remember anything."

"I never want to assume something, but maybe if you can't remember consenting, you didn't do it."

I freeze, staring at her. I would never accuse Kai of something this severe but I can't help but admit Alice has a point. I don't remember anything except for laying next to him, and then waking up this morning. I've known Kai so long, I pray he would never do anything like that, but something has felt off all morning.

Had Kai taken advantage of me?

It would never cross my mind of one of my best friends taking advantage of me, but the more I think about it, the more realistic it seems. 

I try to forget about it by organizing shelf after shelf but the thought kept haunting me. 

After all the years of knowing Kai there's no way he would do that, but at the same time that's all I can think about. 

The best idea I have is to text Cove.

  Hey odd question but do you think it's possible for Kai to take advantage of me?

"Lennox what?! You know he would never do that, his mom went through the same thing."

"Yeah you're right, it was dumb to ask."

The thought still pulses through me, wondering if one of my best friends would do that. I could never imagine after all the years of knowing him that he would do that to me.

He wouldn't do that right? I thought to myself.

I couldn't imagine Kai doing that but my gut is telling me different. I don't remember consenting, so the best way I know how to settle this is asking him. 

  Are you sure I said what you said about last night?

Well yeah, you even told me to do it.

All the things he said to me still never occurred to me and the only thing I can do at the time is trust him, so I don't sound dumb for questioning one of my best friends.

I just decide to drop it. I have no evidence saying otherwise, and if I truly was blackout, maybe I did what he says I did.

I finish the shelf I'm on, and go into my office to finish the books for the month. As I near the end, the thought creeps back in my mind. 

Kai would never do that.

I get in my car and drive back home. No music plays.

I'm trying to process the things that happened last night and my best thought is to call Harry. 

The phone rings, once then twice and I began to chew on the raw skin around my finger nails wondering if he even cares to answer.

"Hello, are you okay?"

"Um, I don't know how to explain this but there's a lot going on, so if you don't wanna talk or anything I completely understand and I"m so sorry if you were-"

Cutting me off he says "Lee just come over."

I pause and catch my breath.

"Okay."