SUSTENANCE ♕ animal kingdom [discontinued]

𝔣𝔦𝔳𝔢

I had ignored everybody's call for the next two days going home, laying in bed not wanting to move. It felt like nothing was ever going right, everything in the last couple days was just up and down including my mood swings.

I held the knife in my hand gripping it as I brought it up to my upper arm slicing the skin, as the tears fell down my face. I dropped the knife to the floor as I kept choking back a sob, tears rolling down my face. I had no reason to be crying but I was and I couldn't stop it.

I exhaled out a ragged breath before getting up and walking over to the bathroom grabbing gauze and wrapping it around my arm. My phone rings again but I don't bother with it, I walked out of the bathroom to my kitchen, grabbing the bottle of vodka that was sitting there, I flicked the cap off as I drank it straight.

I didn't flinch or react to the taste as I brought the bottle away from my lips. I didn't even feel like standing up, I put the bottle down and I went back to bed bringing the covers back over my body.

My phone had stopped ringing finally and I shut my eyes, letting the sleep take over me. Thirty minutes into laying there, there was a loud knock on my door and I was going to ignore it before they kept going.

"Fucking hell." I mumbled under my breathe as I walked over the door opening it, "Who the fuck is it?" I snapped looking up to see it was Deran, I pursed my lips and he puts his hands in his pockets.

"Hey."

"What do you want?"

"I just came over to check on you, you haven't been answering your phone. I was getting worried." He says and I gulped looking at him as I pursed my lips.

"Well I'm alive, so you can go now." I said going to shut the door in his face but he stops it making me look at him.

"Craig's down in Mexico." Deran says and I frowned opening the door, "His wound was getting worse so Baz drove him down."

"Is-Is he going to be okay?" I said, feeling my heart about to drop, the guilt rushing through me for not picking up my phone.

"Yeah, yeah. Baz said they would be back this afternoon." He says and I sighed in relief shaking the tears away.

"That's good. I'll come by later to see him when he gets back."

"Look, Seph, I'm sorry okay. It was a dick move of me to say all that shit I said, I was just- I was upset and angry but I had no right to take it out on you. I hate that we're not talking right now, okay." Deran says and I see him pleading me with his eyes.

It was hard being angry at Deran, he would do shit to piss me off and we would go on silent treatment to see who would break first. It was usually him because I could go for ages not talking to him and he knew that. The longest we had gone for not talking was 1 week and that's when we were kids.

"I'm sorry too, I know it's hard for you to come clean and I don't want you thinking I'm pressuring you into coming out." I said looking at him and he nods.

"So, we cool?" He says and I smiled lightly nodding my head, he smiles lightly wrapping his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around him holding him in my arms before pulling away.

"Do you wanna come in?"

"Your bleeding."

"What?" I said frowning and he points to it, I looked over to see blood seeping through my shirt, "Shit." I walked over to the bathroom pulling my shirt off as I looked at the blood soaked bandage I had. I take it off before putting a new bandage on it, wrapping my arm in it.

"What happened Seph?" Deran asked and I looked up at him in the reflection of the glass.

"I-I uh ran into a nail." I said forcing a chuckle as I turned to him putting on a smile, "It was a loose nail out in the hallway, I'm just lucky it wasn't rusty." I walked past him going to the kitchen and I hear him scoff.