Sun Kissed

Chapter 4: Talks and Thoughts

I leaned back into my seat while taking a sip from my mojito. The lemon hit my palette while the rum hit my brain. It had been a while since the last time I sat down to have a drink with friends. The last time we were all together, we weren't even legal. But then we always made sure to order a plate of chicken wings.

I would be lying if I would say that I was the least bit excited to see us drunk. In high school, we were a crazy bunch. Even without a single drop of alcohol, we acted like drunks. I wanted to see how alcohol affected my friends. Even being a bit tipsy would do.

I knew that at least I could manage myself pretty well. To be honest I never ventured to have more than two drinks. I had no idea what my maximum limit was and I had no intentions of even trying to figure it
out any time soon in my foreseeable future.

We discussed our plans on how we would spend our time on these islands. Kaushal and Saahil had booked themselves a scuba diving course that would be one day long. I thought I would join them but I had made already plans of going snorkeling with an instructor who I had met the last time I had come to Andaman with my family. That reminded me that I had to ask Divisha if she wanted to join me.

Soon the boys were busy in their own talks which Divisha and I had no interest in. we discussed about old friends and new friends and what they were up to, then a few of favourite memories that usually started like " You remember that one time...." and ended with a chuckle.

We talked about her life with Varun. And how they cope up with each other now that they live together. She described the initial days as uncomfortable and awkward then once they sat down and talked about it, things got better. They laid out their expectations in front of each other, made some ground rules, and now they are thriving in the presence of each other.

I must have interrupted Divisha twice before she could start describing her sex life. Something that my overactive imagination would not be able to forget once the image was formed and thus proved unnecessary.

It was not long after that she asked me about my nonexistent love life. I had never fallen in love. I had a few crushes here and there but never had it come to the point of me saying that I wanted to live the rest of my life with him.

I was a romantic at heart. I loved romantic movies and novels that made sure I would cry during at least one part of the story. This did not mean that I believed in the type of love that was portrayed in these made-up worlds. Neither did I want a fairy tale love story.

I wanted to feel the emotion that people described as the best feeling in the world. I wanted to experience that feeling that the so-called 'the one' could only give you.

How is it possible that one single person could make you feel out of breath and at the same time...calm?

How does that one single person hold so much power over you that your happiness depends on him?

How does one even manage to even surrender such power to one single person? The power to either build or break you completely?
How?

"Have you found anyone? Anyone worth your time?"

The answer to Divisha's question was simple but it had the potential to wipe out that slight smile off my face that I had on since the start of the evening. Instead of saying it out, I gave a slight nod while looking down at my fingers that had started fidgeting with themselves. A tendency that appeared during conversations that upset me.

"Do you plan on looking for someone?"

This question made me look at her but my face was emotionless when I replied. "I haven't looked for anyone and I don't think I don't have the time now. And I don't think I even want to be in a relationship with anyone now."

"Excuses! Just excuses. Everybody needs somebody in their life. And about time, now that university is over, you are looking for a job. That's even better. You can have a fresh start. Both of you can even live together in a new city. I like that idea...a completely new start."

I was reluctant to even think about it. I let out a sigh while she continued.

"You won't have Sudhi beside you all the time. I'm pretty sure she hinted that was seeing someone while I was talking to her the other day. She's your best friend. She'll support you. We'll support you. We're not going anywhere. But you need someone. Someone who'll take care of you and will be there for you."

I now see that the boys were looking at us now curiously. Curious about our grim moods. While Divisha fills them in they look at me expectedly.

Kaushal speaks up after an awkward silence." I know you are an independent girl and I admire that in you but there is someone in this world who will look at you as if you are their whole world and you at him. He'll depend on you a much as you'll do on him. And when you find that man you'll not be able to let him go and he'll be as selfish as you"

I smile at his suggestion wondering when did he get so intelligent.

"But now forget about it. Let's just enjoy our drinks and forget about our problems!"

That's exactly what we did till the time both Saahil and Divisha could not sit without leaning on something or someone, and the rest of us were disoriented.

We head towards our rooms, bidding each other good nights.

As soon as I close the door of my room behind me, I free myself of my torturous heals and change into an extremely comfortable pajama set. I wash my makeup off my face feeling a bit soberer than fifteen minutes ago. And then dive right into bed and curl myself into the duvet.

Thoughts about the evening's conversation fill my head and it was not long before I find myself in a dream world.