Sun Kissed

Chapter 20: Miss him

1 Month later

"I'll chop the veggies while you boil the spaghetti," Sudhiksha announces as soon as she enters my apartment. I expected that she would be coming for dinner but I have still not gotten used to the way she has been barging into my house for the past few months.

I didn't expect anything different, after all, she is my best friend and to top it off, she lives next door. We had initially decided to live together but we later felt that we need our privacy, so both of us rented ourselves a 1 BHK apartment. Most of our free time was spent with each other. Either her place or mine. But Sunday night was compulsory dinner at my place.

So here I am on Sunday night, on my way to my kitchen, to apparently make spaghetti with my best friend.

When I reach my kitchen I already see Sudhi with her head in the refrigerator looking for the ingredients. I spot a bottle of Rose wine on my kitchen counter. Today was a celebratory dinner. I finally found a job that suits me but this would be one of our last few Sunday dinners together.

I was hesitant about the job at first but Sudhi motivated me and reminded me that we always knew that this day would come when would have to go separate ways. So I finally told the manager of the photo studio I was working at, that I would be leaving soon. I had been working there since the time I had come to the States. It was a job I could get a bit creative in and I liked photography and it gave me enough money to survive so I was happy.

I take a fist full of spaghetti and put it in the water once it had started boiling. I take out my stock of sausages and start frying them for myself. Sudhi is a vegetarian but does not mind me cooking and eating meat around her like few vegetarians I know.

While frying, my thoughts go back to the same place where it has been going for the last one month. We had not talked to each other nor even texted each other. I looked at his phone number every single day deciding that today would be the day I call him or even message him but I did not have it in me. I looked at the pictures we had taken together every day.

I try to forget him. I try to push back his memories but I get lost in them every single day. How do I forget a few of the best moments of my life? How do I forget about one of the best people I know?

Thoughts about him keep me up at night. His hazel eyes though far away still captivate me. My thoughts drift away to his kindness, his honest words and that warm smile that I fell for.

Yes. I finally realised it.

I have fallen for Chris Williams. I have fallen hard.

The last night I spent with Chris goes on in my head like a broken record. It repeats itself again and again. The breathtaking kiss and how I spent the rest of the evening with his hand wrapped around me. I had never felt that kind of happiness. I miss that happiness. I miss that warmth. I miss Chris.

Suddenly, Sudhi waves her hand in front of my eyes snapping me out of my never-ending chain of thoughts. I blink a few times and look at her. She was looking at me with curious eyes.

"Have you been listening to what I have been saying?" She asks. My lack of answer gives her the answer. "Apparently not." She continues after exhaling out a long breath.

"Your sausages look done. Finish making the sauce then there's something we need to talk about." She tells me.

We finish making our dinner without any further conversations. Just short questions with shorter answers. As soon as we were done, she drags me by my hand to the couch and makes me sit and she sits beside me facing me.

The look in her eyes is a look of concern, worry, and sympathy and her voice tell the same.

"You can't go on like this Tanaya. You have been so distracted since you have come back. I don't see that bright smile of yours anymore. This is not the Tanaya I know anymore.

have you looked at yourself in the mirror nowadays? You have dark circles and your eyes look so hollow. You always dress nice and now I always see you in that one pair of shorts and an oversized shirt. I don't want to see you like this anymore. Tell me honestly. When was the last time you slept well? I don't think it has been anytime soon. Don't do this to yourself."

I look at her for a moment before I turn my gaze back at the floor again.

"I know that you miss him. Why don't you talk to him now? I think I know this device that helps an individual talk to another individual on another part of the planet. Tell him about your job. From what you have told me, he's perfect for you. Don't lose him. He's good for you and from what I see, you are clearly in love with him. Do something about it."

"Now let's go. Open up that bottle of wine and enjoy our dinner." She gives me a pat on my back and heads toward the kitchen.

Sudhiksha's words struck me and I had finally decided, enough of mopey nights. I'm going to do something about it but now it was spaghetti time.