Sun Kissed

Chapter 17: How?

To say I was nervous was the understatement of the century. I was currently sitting on my bed with my head hanging low. I was giving myself a pep talk. A pep talk to my feelings. Those feelings were supposed to shun themselves to the farthest corner of my brain tonight but now they were doing the opposite and creating a hell lot of havoc in my head.

I was mad at myself and a hell lot of pitiful too. Mad because I was feeling like this for a stranger who I met just two days ago. And pitiful for the fact that I knew that I would miss him. Miss a stranger who I met two days ago.

In one part of my brain, there was this thought that I was overreacting and, was being overdramatic. And now I wanted to side with this part of my brain. At least with this kind of thinking, I would manage to get over with the evening without digging myself a deeper hole.

I had tried looking at the positive side of this evening but I couldn't think about it without the restricting feeling in my throat. I tried telling myself to enjoy whatever time I had left with him. But I did not want our time together to be limited.

So, to get through with this evening, downplaying my emotions was the way to go.

With that decision, I got up from my bed and went down to the ecosystem and splashed my face with water. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. It was a fake one. But today's motto was 'Fake it till you make it'.

I put myself into a baby blue wrap-around skirt and a white tank top and finished it off with a denim jacket. Not much makeup as usual and also just ran a brush through my jet black hair creating a bit of volume.

I packed my bag putting in a mat to sit on, some cheese and olives and also packed a towel just in case. I took a deep breath and exited the shack.

Looking at the sky, the sun would most probably set in the next thirty minutes or so.

I tuck my hands into my jacket's pockets and head towards the beach. When i reach there, I see Chris leaning against a wall, waiting. I quickly take a picture of the scene. What? Pretty things are my weakness!

I walk towards him and he must of heard me because a smile erupts on his face and he meets me half way. I see that he has a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hand. Our 'parting of ways' drink.

I smile at him too. I think it's real. But it physically pained to smile.

"Do you want to walk before we sit down?" He asks.

"I would like that. But first let me put my bag down. Do you want to keep the wine along with it?" And he hands me over the bottle and I place it along with my bag on the sand. I take off my flip flops because I love walking barefeet on the sand. I sneak in a small box into my jacket's pocket from my bag and then run towards Chris who was almost near the water.

Then we walked. We walked with our hands in our pockets, kicking random stones in our path and talked. A lot of random stuff was what we talked about. I thought that I would have to fake my smile but with Chris, I could never fake a smile, even if it broke my heart every time I did so. He made me smile.

We walked and occasionally splashed water on each other till the the sun turned into a shade of red. As an artist I always wanted to recreate the exact shade of red on canvas but I knew that it was impossible. Some things could never be recreated.

We sat down on the mat that I had laid out on the sand. The sun was setting and all I could do was admire the beauty in front of me. One beautiful thing that nature would dare not take away from us.

I felt the box in my pocket weigh me down. I took it out and faced Chris.

"What is this?" He asks as I place the box in his hand.

"It's not fair that you bought me a bracelet so I got you something too." I shrugged.

He opens it and smiles. The toothy ones.

I had bought a shell keychain the first day we went shopping. I had told the shopkeeper to carve the words Remember Me onto it.

He looks at me and I say with a smile, "Something to remember me by?"

He mumbles something along the words 'never', but I must have imagined that.

"Thank You! Thankyou so much! It means a lot to me. I'll keep it safe" He says instead.

I don't know what happened but we continued looking into each other's eyes. His eyes looked so much prettier in the remaining glow of the sunset. It captivated me just like the very first time and all the other times. It intrigued me, how could someone hold so much beauty.

Yes, it was his eyes that I was initially attracted too but it was his soul that attracted me even more. We were so much alike but yet so different. I know the feeling but i don't want to accept it. If I do accept it, even to myself, it would be much more harder to leave than it already is.

He looks at me in such a way that locks me in place. All that I can feel is the warmth through his eyes and hear the waves crashing on the shore.

"Did you know that your skin shines golden in the sun? It's beautiful." His words interrupt our silence, startling me. And I say the one thing I've been dying to say ever since I saw him. "Did you know, that I find your eyes to be the most gorgeous pair I've ever seen?"

We both smile and i don't realise how close our faces were from each other. And it was not long before our lips meet.

It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.

Our lips moved together, slow and sensual, as if we had all the time in the world. Savouring each and every moment. Savouring each and every touch.

I could feel his emotions through it and I could never be anymore grateful that his emotions were similar to mine.

This kiss was a 'goodbye kiss', a 'I may never see you again kiss', and lastly 'I want you the most kiss'.

It was pure and no words could speak better than this. It could only be perceived.

But with every passing moment, how could I feel so much in despair and also be in utter bliss?

How did it have the power to build my heart and break it at the same time?

How could it ache so so much?

How?