Wrong Place To Rob [L.S.]

Twenty One

I loved you.

~~~

There were tears in both their eyes. Louis was shocked, had no idea how to cope with that information.

Harry loved him? He'd actually loved him? As in, not anymore? Obviously because of what Louis did.

Louis wanted to run, he wanted to leave and never come back, never show his face again because he was so ashamed right now. The guilt was eating at him, in a burning pain making its way to his heart and crushed it until nothing was left but a deep darkness.

"You what?" Louis whispered, unable to process those three words, eight letters, as he knew if he would say them himself, there would only be seven letters.

Harry didn't answer, a second tear making its way down his cheek in pure silence. He just stared ahead of him with a blank expression on his face. Louis didn't know what to do himself.

"You- you don't anymore?" Louis couldn't stop the frown forming on his face as it contorted in mental pain. He knew he shouldn't have done it. He knew that something was going to come up and screw the whole plan.

The plan was, though, to never see Harry again. It was easy because the main goal was to keep Harry safe, not let him take the blame. There were just certain extra's that came with the plan that made it easier for Louis. He'd never have to see Harry again, never have to know if Harry loved him, never have to know if Harry would ever want him the way he wanted Harry.

As he realised now, though, it wasn't a good plan. And not only the stabbing part, because that was obvious.

Harry loved him. They could've been happy. Sure there'd be a lot of issues, things that had happened they had to talk about and fix. Then the problem of Harry being a mafia criminal. But they'd be able to figure it out together, and Louis hated himself for only realising that now.

"I'm gonna give you a minute." Zayn mumbled right before he walked out of the scene, not wanting to intrude their space. He knew he wasn't needed there.

Louis' cheeks were wet and Harry's were getting wetter every the minute. His face was still blank though, and Louis wondered if Harry really stopped loving him because of what he did. He deserved it though, so he thought.

"Do you understand why I did it?" He was so afraid for the answer. He didn't know exactly why though, because either way, Harry had just made clear that whatever he once felt for the boy was gone, past time, history.

One stupid, incredibly stupid decision, and everything was fucked.

Louis despised himself.

"I don't know." Harry whispered finally, causing Louis' eyes to flicker up to the green ones that were now carefully looking at him under those long eyelashes. The lump in Louis' throat was huge, swallowing didn't help.

"Did you-" Louis tried not to choke on his tears, "did you hear what I said, what I told you? After I..." He looked down again. He couldn't believe how stupid he was.

Who the fuck stabs the person they love?

Louis did, and he constantly needed to repeat to himself he had his reasons, but every time he did, those reasons seemed more and more absurd.

Harry stared at his hands for a minute and then answered "I don't know if I did then, but I can't remember." His voice cracked, eyes still focused on the needle in the upper side of his hand, stuck in his flesh through his skin with the purpose of keeping him alive.

Louis gasped a little. So Harry didn't know? Harry didn't know Louis loved him and would do anything for him. He didn't know how much he regretted his decision and how many times he asked for forgiveness. How guilty he felt.