Use Me Like a Drug

14: Falling Downhill

The boys paid zero attention to their surroundings. They were oblivious to the rising sun and cold wind that blew under the bridge. Yeonjun fell asleep, resting his head on top of Soobin's who sat awake listening to the olders even breaths. While he tried to enjoy the moment as much as possible, his mind unintentionally raced on and on. And he hates it as much as it confuses him. He really hoped that what happened wouldn't trigger these memories, yet here he is.

Soobin curled in on Yeonjun's side, wrapping his legs around one of Yeonjun's. He moved his head slightly to lay it more across the olders shoulder hiding his face against Yeonjun's neck. Tears silently dropping from his eyes. He wanted to just be normal for once.

He hated how his mind now correlated things from his past to things that make him happy now. Images of a person he now hates keep popping up every time he closes his eyes. It pains him greatly seeing that bastards face. He has no right to corrupt his mind.

"Why are you crying?" Yeonjun's raspy voice tore him away from his thoughts.

Soobin sniffled and tried to sit up, only being caught in place by Yeonjun's gentle yet firm hold. Yeonjun immediately let go when Soobin stayed in place. Both of their eyes stayed fixated on the slow moving water ahead of them.

"I can't stop thinking about bad things." Soobin muttered, releasing a shaky breath while trying to fight his tears. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was, but I just kind of woke up when I felt you tighten your grip on me." Yeonjun explained softly keeping his voice quiet. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Soobin sniffled again moving his hand up to wipe his nose and eyes. This time when he sat up Yeonjun didn't stop him. Soobin sat away from the wall, crisscrossing his legs and looking at the older while biting the side of his lip. He released a heavy sigh and closed his eyes, fidgeting with the from of his shirt.

"My first year of high school I met a guy who's name is not important. He was a few years older than me but we had a lot of classes together because I had to take advanced courses." Soobin began explaining slowly, reopening his eyes to stare past Yeonjun. "I can't even say that I really liked him, I just liked the idea of having a boyfriend and he treated me differently than everyone else did. I had to keep it a secret from my parents for obvious reasons, and he went along with it. Keeping it a secret from not only my parents but the school as well. I should've known the situation was too good to be true."

Soobin paused for a brief moment, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I wasn't necessarily bullied in school, but I was the smart kid, so a lot of people liked to use me to get their own grades higher. He never once asked for my homework and did his share of projects, and I guess I liked that to the point that it blinded me. We were fine for the first month or so, he kissed me and held onto me when I needed it. I never really told him about my home life, but I think he understood that my parents weren't the best. I don't even know when it did but it all kind of went downhill.

He got extremely possessive, h-he'd force kisses and they were really rough. His hold on me got tighter and he'd leave hickeys even after I strictly told him not too. There were times when we went on dates and he'd get violent with me, though the bruises and cuts weren't any worse than what my father did, it still hurt a lot." Soobin hiccupped, uncrossing his legs to bring his knees up to his chest and hug. "And anytime I'd bring up breaking up he'd threaten to tell my parents about everything. So my entire freshman year I was stuck with him and he only get worse as the year went on. I guess I should be glad he never forced me to have sex with him, it just really sucks that literally no one noticed how he acted around and towards me."

Yeonjun felt his own emotions run wild as he listened to Soobin's story. His blood began to boil, feeling extremely angry at someone he hopes he will never have to meet. He tried to conceal his anger by showing sympathy, failing though as both emotions were clearly evident through his features.