Use Me Like a Drug

17: Heartbreak

It felt strange to walk through the forest with such urgency. Yeonjun could hardly feel the calming effect that this place usually has on him. A million thoughts filled his head, keeping him on high alert while at the same time keeping him preoccupied as he was trying not to panic.

His eyes trailed along the dirt, looking for any signs of someone passing through this way recently. But no matter how hard he looked he found zero footprints or signs of activity. Granted Yeonjun didn't take this exact path before with Soobin, it still worried him greatly.

The trees swayed from the warm breeze, creating an eerie atmosphere. No other sound was made other than the crunching of leaves under timid yet stern footsteps, and uneven intakes of breath. High above the boys the moon shined through the thick leaves, providing minimal light in this part of the forest. The shadows created many strange shapes, nearly bringing nightmares to life.

Yeonjun even felt uneasy despite being used to this environment. He knew his dark thoughts played into the way he felt.

Beomgyu followed close behind on Yeonjun's tail, partially numb arms wrapped around his center. He was also lost in his own thoughts, his entire life replying before his eyes. All of the lies he was fed, the pain he tolerated, the harsh reality of what he has chosen to do. It all caught up to him in minutes.

"Where exactly are we going?" Beomgyu asked timidly, looking up at the back of the olders head awaiting an answer.

Yeonjun looked back briefly, eyes traveling up and down Beomgyu's form. He slowed himself to walk besides the younger, keeping a decent amount of distance between then. His eyes trailed on around them, looking for any disturbances beyond the trees.

"There's a clearing further in that I used to hide out at a lot. Before I was caught I told Soobin to come here." Yeonjun explained monotonously, shoving his hands into his pants pockets.

"You said another name earlier as well. Who's he?" Beomgyu continued on after humming in acknowledgment.

Yeonjun let out a heavy sigh. He closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds before reopening them. He's going to be with me for a while, I have to let this petty anger go. Especially if he is more like us than I originally thought.

"I didn't realize you heard that....His name is Huening Kai, he's probably a year younger than you." Yeonjun bluntly answered, looking off again. "He helped me when I ran away from that school, and after I met Soobin we just kind of went and lived with him. I can call him a close friend."

"Did he also run away from his home?" Beomgyu whispered, realizing too late that that was kind of an inappropriate question.

"Not exactly." Yeonjun vaguely answered, glancing over at the younger. "I don't feel comfortable telling you about him. Maybe he'll tell you himself someday."

Beomgyu sensed that that part of the conversation was over. His eyes unintentionally found the ground again, a strange feeling of guilt washing over him as specific images passed over his eyes.

"I-I'm really sorry for all those things I said and did to you." Beomgyu muttered, tightening his grip around his waist.

"Let's not talk about it." Yeonjun dismissed, refusing to look over at the younger. Yet his eyes still found themselves on Beomgyu's vulnerable form. "I'm trying to put it behind me, and you should too if you want to get better. Forgive and forget I guess."

But Yeonjun knew that not all things could be forgiven, and not everything could be forgotten.

A silence surrounded them. Beomgyu found himself looking over at the older boy with a look resembling confusion. Some of the things he said and did in the past he knew he couldn't even forgive himself for. Yet here is Yeonjun brushing it off as if it was nothing. He truly is a different person from what Beomgyu originally thought, and it made him feel even worse.