𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

14 | We Don't Have to Leave

"Can I leave now? I think we've come to the conclusion she's not a threat to us anymore..." Haz said peeking his head around the corner to face Y/N and I on the couch.

"Not completely, but yeah mate you can go," I said nodding and waving to him as he headed to the front door. Before he left however, I called out for him to stop breaking into my neighbours houses and never come back and fuck with my Witness Protection.

We heard the door shut before Y/N turned to me with a joking scowl. I looked at her for a lingering second waiting for her to explain why she looked so unappriving although she ended up sighing.

"Not completely? Why do you think I'm still a threat? I just told you my entire backstory and showed you the scar from work and I- I don't know what else I can do to get you to trust me," she pleaded, her brows furrowed and her eyes hopeful.

"I do trust you, I just think you're a threat at the same time. Everyone in the crime business is a threat to me, a threat to my family or a threat to The Family," I shrugged, casually glazing over my immense trust issues; especially with women.

"So if you trust me, then you're not going to go all psycho on me and try and slash my torso open because you think I'm wearing a wire?" She joked, although the event obviously caused her some level of PTSD. I guess that was the type of girl she was, one who dealt with her trauma via dark humour.

"I mean the easiest way to prove you're not wearing a wife is to strip naked," I joked back, although now that I've seen the scar she is so self conscious about, maybe we can actually have sex now.

"Yeah no, I'm not getting naked in front of you for a while there buddy, I can barely look at myself naked without feeling completely unattractive. Honestly I showered with a shirt on for the first two months," she said chuckling, this time a wave of sadness protruding through her laughter.

"So you're telling me you haven't had sex since the bastard stabbed you? How long have you been in WITSEC?!" I said in shock.

"God no! I would not last a year and a half without sex... I just, I don't know, I'd turn the lights off or I'd keep the top half of my body covered by my shirt or my dress or something..." Y/N now said, her face dropping and her teeth biting at her bottom lip.

She really was beautiful though, scar or no scar. It kind of made me sad how much this affected her body image and her self esteem.

"Hey, look at me Y/N. You might not feel comfortable in your body anymore right now but trust me when I say that you're stunning regardless. Come on, new topic, you pick," I said smiling and resting my hand on top of hers, rubbing my thumb along her skin.

"Have you killed someone before?" She said bluntly, not fearful of the heavy topic, but more curious about the logic behind it.

I nod gently.

"How many people?"

I shrug. She nods.

"I haven't killed anyone, so I can't really relate. But I did break someone's nose once and that felt kind of good. He was a guy in the jail I worked at, we were in a therapy session and he put his hand up my skirt... so I sucker punched him, broke his nose and then he got a boner from it," she shrugged.

I expected her to have more of a, wild reaction to the fact I had firstly admitted I had killed someone, and secondly forgotten what numbered kills I was at - but she didn't. She just nodded as if I had told her my favourite colour or what the time was, as if it were a normal topic of conversation.

"He got hard from you hitting him? Man you would have worked with some fucking perverted people... how did you cope?" I laughed.

"I mean, half the job was therapy sessions to determine their mental diagnosis for court. The other half was just working alongside detectives in boring meeting rooms. I do enjoy psychology though, almost as much as I like the money," she smiled, looking down at my hand still on hers and flipping it so our fingers were interlocked.

"What's your psychological assessment on me then? You've known me about a month now, surely you've made some sort of judgment right?" I taunt, wondering about what she would say.

"You're bad at hiding your job from anyone with half a brain to notice. You come home injured and bloody more often that anyone I've ever known and you openly flirt with our middle aged neighbours just to watch their reactions. Especially Jeanette who most definitely has thought about you during sex with her husband. She hasn't told me that explicitly but she was disappointed you didn't come to the neighbour barbecue the other weekend and she wore a pretty skimpy swimsuit. Plus, you have severe intimacy issues man. You even flinched when I first held your hand, so I don't think you date very often," she said causally, smiling innocently at the end.

She had me pinned.

"Well you're not wrong, I definitely don't date people a lot. I rarely even go on second dates," I joked.

"So when is our second date then?" She smiled.

"I don't think I can take you in public with your neck already starting to bruise like that love, we might have to wait for a bit," I said scratching the back of my neck, regretting the fact I basically strangled her.

"We don't have to leave the house for a date. Why don't you come over to my place tonight, we can order in food, watch movies and chill out?" She continued.

Fuck she was cute. Even though I've now discovered a completely dark and criminal side to her, she was still the adorable girl who blushed when I used the name darling and made me cups of tea.

"We do that already, I don't think that counts as a date Y/N. We watch movies all the time," I chuckled.

"Then I guess we've already had our second date. Look at you go, overcoming your commitment issues. I must be special or something," she joked, grinning at me as she taunted.

I couldn't resist the smile on my face, leaning forward to kiss her and trying to stop smiling. You know, to actually kiss her properly without smiling like a psychopath. But she was used to psychopaths right?

I think I have feelings for this girl, like I actually want to be with her one day. Maybe I would introduce her to my family one day. Or The Family one day. But that's a lot.

This is gross. I don't like this soft bullshit.