Never Have I Ever: Season 3

Chapter 1: It was not always him

Part 1

Ben stood there watching as Devi kissed Paxton. His world froze. The lights, the music... all slowly fading, swirling like a bad dream, and it all felt quite nauseating...

His eyes sadden with pain in the dimmed lights as he continues to watch on as they continue to slow dance on the school gym's dance floor... on the night of the Winter Dance.

"Fuck." The thought echoes loudly in his head... Eleanor's words were like the piercing sound of a gun. Piercing right through like a bullet through ribs... right through to his lungs. Ben felt it were increasingly harder for him to breathe... he felt like the walls were slowly closing in on him...

He was damned confused... She had chosen him, then she hadn't... And now he had learnt that she actually had! God, Devi had to be the most confusing frustrating person he'd ever met! The amount of time he spent thinking of her... his head felt as though it could literally break! And as he watched on, Paxton's hands on her... his mouth on hers... he felt like a dagger being twisted deeper, tearing into his soul. Like his world were fading... and he just didn't know what his body wanted to do...

Suddenly he feels a heavy hand drop on his shoulder and he instantly jumps, startled. He spins round... feeling the rise of something in his stomach build when he sees Aneesa standing there smiling at him.

Her bright smile. Her short soft hair bobbing and swishing to the side as she gazes back. She had come back from a dance with whom, moments ago, she had said she would be bopping with Fabiola and Eve to Harry Styles's Watermelon Sugar whilst Ben went over to get himself a drink.

Her smile beaming, her eyes sparkling... and it made his stomach churn even more so, because he couldn't share what she felt at this moment... he couldn't be her perfect boyfriend... her perfect date... all because he felt his world had come crashing down with words he had not expected... and with sight of her... dancing with him... and with thoughts he really desperately wished he could push away. Push out of his mind...how he wants to be the one holding Devi... gazing into her glistening molten eyes in the dark as he held her close and they would slow dance together... how he wanted to slide his hands in hers... and fall more deeply into the pool of her glimmering eyes...

Aneesa's smile begins to fade slightly when she begins to notice the pensive worried look on Ben's face.

"Are you ok?" She questions, wide eyed, trying to read him. Then her expression suddenly morphs to a smirk. "You didn't eat one of Trent's brownies, did you? Rumour has it he laced them with something. I don't know what, but Marcus has been tripping since he offered him one." She laughs.

None of what she'd said had registered, and Ben gazes at her blankly for a couple of seconds. But Ben's face scrunches up as he looks away, feeling his stomach wanting to give in, give him trouble, and his head swirls and spins as he tries to push those invasive thoughts away. There was one thing he knew he needed... He needed air... because he needed to breath... he needed to get away from these enclosed walls... and I mean, before Devi and Paxton could do more than he could damn handle...

"I think I need to go." He says quickly. "I don't actually think I feel too well." He says, rubbing vigorously at his chest, only now realising how heavy his heart pounded. His other hand he slides through his hair, trying to maintain his sanity as his eyes dart back to the sight of Devi and Paxton slow dancing on the dance floor again.

Aneesa continues to watch him... confused. How did Ben suddenly go from cheerful, banterful Ben... to looking as though he were going through a midlife crisis! But before she could think some more, he was already beginning to turn away and head for the exit. And she hesitates to take his hand to stop him, so instead she resorts to following him... closely behind as he squeezes and makes his way past all the other dancers on the dance floor. He heads straight for the exit doors of the gym. Ben, being so fazed, only notices Aneesa when she suddenly utters some words from behind him as they are both making their way down the school corridor.

"Ben! Wait. Did I do something wrong?" The words echo, breaking his train of thoughts...

His steps slow to a stop. He takes in deep breaths, when slowly his racing mind starts to slow down finally and process his thoughts a little bit more clearly...

Damn it. What was he doing?, the thought resounds in his mind. I came here. With Aneesa. She is my girlfriend. SHE is my girlfriend. And... Devi... he laughs bitterly but quietly at that thought...

He swallows down hard. Closing his eyes, mentally preparing himself, repeating like a mantra in his mind... he can do this... slowly he begins to turn to face Aneesa... and he can do this... he just needs to take some time... some time he can meet eyes with Aneesa. And it's not like his mind could torture him some more, but why was it when he had looked up... what he had saw for a brief moment was almost a figment of Devi starring back at him... Fuck, leave my head alone Devi!

He squeezes his eyes shut, clenching his jaw. The churning in his stomach only intensifies... he only needs to take in that one big deep breath... he'll get there to opening his eyes... to face Aneesa... after all the stress...

"Ben-"

"Come on. I wanted to take you for a drive." He says, eyes snapping open before she could say more.

A smile grows on Aneesa. And she takes his hand.

Ben... he thinks the only way he can end this night the way he believes it should... is by taking Aneesa somewhere really nice... away from what this place could do... apart from distract him, torment him... and play with his mind, it would surely ruin Aneesa's night also. So he thinks he knows the perfect place to take her. A wealthy Italian restaurant his dad had once taken him to on a previous night. She would love that...

Ben's endured enough of the excruciating pain his carried on for the past month... so to stay would be a mistake. He feels he needs to run from all this pain... from all the excruciating hurt of watching on as Paxton dances with Devi... his heart cracking second by second more with every sight of Devi, as Paxton gets to hold her... press his lips to hers...

Ben needed time... to put himself together... after the grenade that had exploded his heart and his night apart for him.

Guys I noticed I wrote this entire story in just two weeks and realised there are a lot of spelling mistakes and I have just been fixing them up... I have not changed the story line in anyway or form, just making some adjustments and fixing my spelling and grammatical errors. You can let me know if you see any too that I may have missed! I will be doing that chapter by chapter when I get the chance, so if there are any updates, just know I haven't changed my story, I'm just fixing some errors I've made along the way with spelling and so. Plus it's easier to edit now I can work from off my laptop again and not off my phone. Takecare everyone always! xxxx