Blind Channel Oneshots

It hurts Part 8 (Joel Hokka)

Person: Joel Hokka

Warnings: None.

Image: After Joel drove away you try to find him...

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As I walked to my car in the parking lot in front of our studio, tears rolled down my cheek. The only thing I wanted to do now was talk to Joel. How could I betray and hurt him like that? When I drove off in my car, I thought about a lot. A lot of what I did wrong.

 After a few minutes I was at Joel's apartment. I got out and ran up the stairwell. I immediately rang the doorbell at Joel's apartment and waited. A few seconds later Joel threw open his door and looked at me with an emotionless look. 

"Joel please let me explain" I said with a shaky voice to him and went closer to him but he immediately took a step back. "There is nothing to explain Y / N," Joel said now with anger and sadness. "I thought things would be different after the threesome," I said and wanted to continue talking, but Joel cut me off. 

"And you think after me, Joonas and you had a threesome, you can fuck him if you want. We were drunk and it was unique. Besides, it was different because I was there but you just fucked him in Rotterdam" Joel yelled at me angry at.

 Some tears rolled down his cheeks. "Joel I was confused after sleeping with Joonas and you. I saw Joonas very differently afterwards. I lay in bed with him one night after we had sex" I said and looked up at Joel again.

 "I love you Y / N you know that I don't share you with anyone. Joonas is my best friend we were drunk and had a threesome that was all. I didn't know that you had feelings for him afterwards" said Joel and made wild hand movements.

 I could see how much sadness there was in his eyes. "I have no feelings for Joonas because I love you Joel. It was just sex and Joonas thinks so too. The two nights didn't mean anything to me for him," I said and wanted to go closer to Joel but he backed away again.

"When you came into the band everyone was after you. Everyone who was not taken. Everyone in the band would want to be with you. Joonas just like that. I thought you love me," said Joel and turned away. I took his arm and turned him back to me.

 "Joel, I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you.I'm so sorry I don't know why that happened between Joonas and me. "Joel just looked at me sadly and shook his head. I wanted to take Joel's hands in mine, but he immediately pulled them away.

" You are the most important person in my life and you know that, "he said, pointing to me." Then why did you fuck my best friend? "said Joel angrily.

" I "I stuttered." I thought you wouldn't mind that much because you did too wanted to have a threesome with him "I said sadly while some tears rolled down my cheek.

"Yes it was a mistake to have a threesome with Joonas because I hate to see you with others. I thought Joonas didn't care if he fucks you once, but it wasn't.

 And you know why? Because I love you so much, "said Joel, and more tears rolled down his face. He immediately wiped the tears from his face because he didn't want me to see him like that.

 "I thought the threesome would have been okay for you I didn't know that. After all, you suggested the threesome. Joel, I love you, I don't feel for Joonas, I just wanted to have sex and I thought it was okay," I said and looked deeply at Joel in the eyes but he didn't even look at me. "It's over" he said when he looked at me again.

 I stared at him in confusion. "We're not together anymore, you can fuck who ever  you want. Although you have already done that" said Joel and looked at me with tears in his eyes. "Joel, I want to be with you" I said and looked at him sadly.

 "Maybe you shouldn't have fucked Joonas then, you bitch" yelled Joel and slammed the door of his apartment. I stood in front of his apartment for a while as if frozen. That evening I drove home with tears in my eyes and didn't close my eyes that night.

The next week didn't go by very quickly, I wasn't at any band rehearsal just to get away from Joel and Joonas. I just sat at home crying like a little child. But I couldn't go on like this. I had to face my problems so I decided to come to the band rehearsal today.

 I got dressed, took my things and made my way to the studio. When I got there everybody was pointing at me, they probably knew why I wasn't there for the last week. But only later did I notice that they weren't looking at me, but Jacob who suddenly stood behind me.

 Sara stood behind Jacob and came to me. "We thought that you are sure to be rehearsing, we wanted to come last week, but we didn't have time," said Sara and smiled a little helplessly at me. I looked at the other boys.

 Niko, Olli and Tommi were his reception room and weren't watching me at the moment. Aleksi was in the kitchen and gave me a friendly smile. I looked for Joel and Joonas. I saw Joonas standing behind Aleksi and when he noticed that I was looking at him he came in my direction. 

I quickly turned back to Sara and Jacob. "So I wanted to apologize to you," Jacob began to speak and came closer to me. But he couldn't speak any further because I hit him in the face with full force. I didn't say anything and just looked at Sara and Jacob. 

"What was that Y / N?" Said Sara and looked at me angrily. "You shit bitch," Jacob said as he held his aching jaw. "Don't call her that ass," said a voice behind me. I saw Joonas standing behind me. 

"I'll be fine Joonas" I said annoyed and saw Joel coming from the bathroom as I turned to Joonas. I stared at him and it felt like he was walking in slow motion. He also looked at me immediately. His gaze was cold and emotionless. 

"I want to apologize and you hit me you little whore" said Jacob and I took my eyes off Joel and looked at him. Joel stopped by the door of the recording room and scowled at Jacob and Joonas. I didn't know when he hated more right now. "Fuck off the studio or I'll knock you out," Joonas said angrily.

 "Don't worry Romeo we're going," Jacob said, grabbing Sara's hand. I looked at Joel but he immediately looked away and went to the others in the reception room. "Y / N we have to talk" said Joonas when Sara and Jacob had disappeared through the door.

 I turned to Joonas and just looked at him annoyed. I knew that Joonas wasn't to blame for me and Joel not being together anymore, but I was so mad at him. But actually I was most mad at myself. I hated myself.

"I'm sorry that everything went like this Y / N" said Joonas and looked at me sadly. "You can't help it," I said, smiling slightly at him. "Can we talk Y / N outside" he said and I nodded to him. When we went outside I looked at Joel one more time, but he didn't even look at me.

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Hoped you liked it :D Stay tuned for part 9 

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