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I want what I can't have Part 10 (Alex Mattson)

Person: Alex Mattson

Warnings: Smut, Angst...

Image: After you talked outside with Niko you both go back in the Studio...

Last Part of this story so send me new requests !

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Me and Niko went back into the studio and immediately all eyes were on us. Aleksi looked worriedly at me and Niko. I could see that pain in his eyes again. The girl he loved is with someone else. Or was. I don't know what I feel for him.

 Nikos reaction to the kiss from me and Aleksi shocked me but the words he had just said to me brought out all the feelings I have for him. I went to Aleksi who was sitting on the couch. "Aleksi we have to talk". He immediately jumped up and looked curiously at me. Those damn blue eyes and that beautiful smile I could melt away. 

He just nodded to me and waited uncertainly for an answer from me: "After the rehearsal at we can talk alone". Said pond while I looked at the ground and then back at him. "So you come over then" I said questioningly. "Yes of course Y / N". 

I smiled at him and then sat down next to Joel on the couch, I also noticed that Niko was staring at me all the time during my conversation with Aleksi. Why does it have to be so hard, why can't I love both of them.

The remainder of the rehearsal went smoothly and well. I tried to distract myself with the music to clear my head. After the rehearsal, I drove home and waited excitedly for the doorbell to ring. I sat waiting on the couch while drinking coffee.

 My feelings were still not clear. Do I want everything to be the same between me and Niko or do I want something new with Aleksi. With Niko I felt like an object for the last few weeks.

 I know that I am everything to Niko but it is so natural for him. When I'm with Aleksi I feel free, I feel safe and I feel warm when he is with me. My heart feels like a hurricane

The ringing of the doorbell tore me out of my thoughts and I immediately went to the door. "Hey," said Aleksi, who was standing in front of my door, uncertain. "Hey come in" I said and pointed with my hand in the direction of the living room. 

Aleksi followed me and we both sat on the couch. Aleksi tugged excitedly at his shirt and looked at the floor. "Aleksi I wanted to talk to you because" I stopped briefly and looked at him. He too looked up at me now. 

I wanted to keep talking but Aleksi completed my sentence ."Because you love Niko and that has to stop between us". I looked at him in shock. "What no, I really didn't want to say that". Aleksi suddenly looked at me happily. "Aleksi I don't know what that is between us or why I feel for you. But I know that I feel for you."

I stopped again briefly and took his hand. He looked at me expectantly. "I've known the band for so long and you've all been like my family. I don't want to lose any of you, but I realized that I have to choose. Either you or Niko". 

I looked at the floor again. "Y / N that's not fair. It's not fair that you have to decide, I'm so sorry." I looked at him and then said, "You don't have to be sorry, it's my own fault. Because my damn heart can't decide". Aleksi looked at me understandingly "Y / N you don't have to decide now".

"Aleksi I think I've already made up my mind, but I just don't want to admit it. I think I" I stopped again briefly and played with my fingers on Aleksi's hand.

 "My heart wants you Aleksi" I said while I looked up at Aleksi with tears in my eyes. He just looked shocked but then smiled and cried with joy. Aleksi took my other hand now and moved closer. "Aleksi I feel good when I'm with you I feel so safe and protected. When I'm with Niko I also feel safe and I know how much he loves me and I know what a good person he is. Believe me I hate me  for doing this to him but my heart doesn't jump when I see him but when I see you it does. "

Aleksi looked at me sad and pleased at the same time. "Y / N I love you so damn I can't put it into words. You've become my whole world. You're the woman I want to grow old with." I looked at him with tears of joy and hugged him.

 When we broke up again he kissed me and the butterflies in my stomach just flew. He pulled me closer and put his hands on my hips. He finally had the girl he wanted for so long. I enjoyed being close to him so much but I knew I had to talk to Niko beforehand. I withdrew and told Aleksi about it. 

"Are you waiting here for me" I said while I was on my way to the door. "I'll always wait for you Y / N" he said with a smile on his face. On the way to Niko, I only realized how much I would hurt him with it. I felt so bad I got out of the car and rang the doorbell on Nikos apartment. "Y / N" said Niko when he opened the door.

 "Niko me" I started to talk but he interrupted me. "You decided for him, or" he said to me without emotion. "Niko, I'm so sorry" I wanted to continue talking but he interrupted me again. "Y / N I'm sorry, I understand that after what I pulled off yesterday that you are going to him now". I looked at him sadly. 

"Niko that's why I didn't choose him. I just don't feel the same as you anymore. And I hate myself for that because I know how much you love me. But Niko, I don't want to lose you." Niko smiled at me which confused me. 

"Babe you never lose me, it just takes a while but I could never leave you." I smiled at Niko and was glad that he wasn't so angry. "I'll never forget our time together," I said as I walked over to him and hugged him. 

"May I have one last kiss Y / N" said Niko when we finished our hug. I nodded and went to kiss him. I looked at him one more time and then turned to go. "I will always love you Y / N" said Niko even before he closed the door.

I went to my car and drove back home where Aleksi was.

When I put the key in the keyhole and opened the door, I went straight to the living room. Aleksi was still sitting in the same place, he had his cell phone in his hand but immediately looked at me when I walked into the room. 

"And everything went well," he asked worriedly as he got up to come to me. "Yes, he somehow already knew that I want you. Everything's fine between us." Aleksi smiled at me with his sweet smile. I immediately pulled him to kiss him.

I gently pushed him back onto the couch and sat on his lap. I wanted him so badly and briefly forgot the world around me. As I sat on his lap, I also felt how much his friend wanted me between his legs. Aleksi put his arms around my waist and kissed me even more passionately. "Are you sure" he said while looking unconcerned.

I gave him a quick look and nodded so he knew I wanted that. He took his shirt and pulled it over his head. "You want me too. You can see that very clearly, "I said and laughed cheekily while I placed my hand between his legs.

 I could feel how aroused he was; he smiled at me and moaned softly. Our kisses got wilder and wilder. His hands on my body felt like electrical tension. "Fuck I want you so much Y / N" he said while slowly moving his hand down and taking off my pants. Then he started kissing the inside of my thighs. 

I moaned softly and pulled him closer to me. He pulled my panties aside and started playing with his tongue on my clitoris. It was like fireworks spreading all over my skin, I moaned and got louder and louder and it got more intense. 

He stuck a finger in me and slowly pumped it in and out. I was so close and groaned "Aleksi" he just got faster. Finally I climaxed and called his name again.

I pulled him close and kissed him. He smiled and finally pushed himself into me without warning. I loved the feeling of how he was inside of me. Aleksi started slowly, but became faster and less controlled. 

"Fuck you are you damn perfect Y / N" he said while his hands wandered over my body. "I want you Aleksi" I said in response.

A little later I came for the second time, but Aleksi didn't slow down, he continued because a few seconds later he came into me with a loud moan. He rolled off me and lay down on the couch next to me. I smiled at him lovingly. He leaned over and kissed me. "Y / N you are amazing". I smiled at him and kissed him again.

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Okay this was longer I thought but hahaha here is the last part.

I hope you liked it and pleas sen me now new request because this story is finished.

:D Comment and like if you want :D